


Shadow Fire

by Genuka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Bad Dumbledore, Bonding, Bunny Farm Escapee, Dark Harry Potter, Dumbledore Bashing, Evil Dumbledore, Fix-It, Goblet of Fire AU, Goblet of Fire Do-Over, Immortality, Insanity, M/M, Magically Powerful Harry, Manipulative Dumbledore, Master of Death Harry, Memory - Time Travel, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Random Updates, Sane Voldemort, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Triad Bond, Triwizard Tournament, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:35:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 51,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7285600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genuka/pseuds/Genuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things worked out just as Dumbledore planned... then magic decided to make a few adjustments. For Harry, it was more than a bit of a shock to go from a battered 150 yr old body to his newly adult status 14 yr old body. He hadn't even had a chance to finish his morning tea! But then with his luck it wasn't all that much of a surprise. Finding out that he had a chance to <i>do it right</i> this time was something he planned to take <i>full</i> advantage of. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to kill ol' Tommy boy again but he wasn't counting on that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake Up Call

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j99450](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j99450/gifts), [TyanataDraven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyanataDraven/gifts), [Phoenix Black (phoenixdaisy)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixdaisy/gifts), [qob23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qob23/gifts), [crankypants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankypants/gifts), [PotionsChaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotionsChaos/gifts).



Harry was sitting with everyone in the Great Hall, waiting excitedly for the Goblet of Fire to spit out the names of the champions. Almost simultaneously with the release of the fourth name his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his body locked into a stone-like rigidity. By the time his name was called and Hermione glanced over speak to him he was slumped over his plate. Her scream pierced the air and brought most of the staff running.

Harry's sable hair was leaching into a black with a red sheen as tears of blood leaked from the corners of his eyes. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape quickly forced everyone back so that they would have room to work. A shuddering breath came from their patient just before his emerald eyes slowly opened.

"Professor Snape? Poppy? But you're both dead," Harry said in a very confused voice.

"What is the meaning of this Dumblydoor?!" Madam Maxine demanded, her voice a mixture of anger and fear.

"If Hermione is here I need to know what year it is and what day it is. I think I've pulled a Doctor Who," Harry said in a slightly raised voice that carried half way across the hall. He made no effort to get up and interrupt Snape's incredulous examination.

"October 31st, 1994," Hermione responded, her voice trembling in shock as she recognized the reference. "Your name just came out of the goblet and it looked like you were having a seizure."

"So the moment I was declared an adult and my body is 14 again.... great. Moody, fuck you for putting my name in the damn goblet and find a different ritual. The one you and your... friend have planed for after the third task robs the great idiot of his sanity. If you need something from me I'll help you get him back to normal so no _blood of the enemy forcibly taken_ crap. Next time you talk to him tell him that my scar is the same as Nagini, the stupid locket, the ring, and the tiara. He'll know what I mean. Oh, and I'm claiming Snape since my mother transferred his boon or whatever it is to me that night," Harry instructed wearily. "I'm gonna pass out now. Hermione, get the twins and Luna Lovegood... Ron's gonna be a git about all of this."

True to his word he was out cold before anyone could move.

Chaos erupted around him as questions were asked, some in panic, some in serious concern. In the confusion a dumbfounded polyjuiced Mad-eye Moody shared a shocked look with Professor Snape as knowledge was instantly passed between them. A silent agreement formed between the two spies as they quickly bundled Harry out of the room, using the confusion as cover, and into Severus' quarters, the false Mad-eye taking up the rear. Once in the potion master's quarters he was quickly laid out on the man's bed and stripped of all but his underwear.

"The stupid eye is showing a glamour," Moody pointed out gruffly. Severus scowled and uncaringly stripped the magic away, both of them gasped at the scars and half healed damage on the small body.

"I thought he was a spoiled brat," Severus said in strangled voice as he headed for the healing potions in his storage cupboard.

"That's what Dumbledore tells everyone," Moody agreed in clear disgust, disgust aimed at a man who would allow so much damage to be inflicted on a child.

By the time Severus got back with the potions it was nearly time for Moody to take another polyjuice dose.

"Since he's blown my cover mind locking down your rooms? I can blame his accusation on disorientation or confusion to anyone else but I know you won't believe that. I'd really like to walk around in my own skin for a while and we have to get the brat put back together before either of us can get answers," Moody suggested dubiously.

In response Severus hit a recessed rune near the top of his bed, tripping a second set of wards around his bedroom. Moody grunted in both satisfaction and amusement before hobbling over to a nearby chair, removing the peg leg and magical eye he relaxed into the return transformation. A small sound of surprise from Snape had his _two_ eyes snapping back open and examining the room.

"Barty?" Snape asked warily.

"I know, I'm supposed to be dead. Mother took my place and my sperm donor has been keeping me trapped under invisibility cloaks and the Imperious curse ever since I recovered enough to be mobile. I got free at the World Cup," Barty Jr. explained with a grin and luxurious stretch now that his body was once more his own.

Severus nodded and they proceeded to work together to heal the battered body of one Harry Potter. Less than an hour later they sat back and watched a mostly healed Potter breathing in and out. Before they could exchange another word there was a knock on the door of the room. A startled look was exchanged as the door opened to admit four hurrying students, the same four Harry had spoken of before falling unconscious.

"Cor, what happened to Harrykins?!" the twins exclaimed in shock, hurrying over to check on Harry. Luna and Hermione hovered near the door, glancing between Harry and the two adults.

"Hello Professors," Luna greeted genially as she carefully steered Hermione over to stand next to the bed and the dramatically concerned twins.

"How...." Barty asked in befuddlement.

"No idea," Severus answered absently as he both eyed the students while checking the wards. To his great astonishment one of them had entered the correct sequence to give them safe entry without disabling his special bedroom wards.

"They will still keep everyone out and I made the others look away while I made the wards safe Professor," Luna informed him airily, answering his unspoken question. Barty laughed hard enough that his answer to Snape's glare was a choked "Seer" before collapsing into a laughter induced coughing fit. Luna smiled indulgently at the man as Harry finally gave a groan, indicating he was waking up.

"What did you do this time little brother?" Fred asked half jokingly.

"Time traveled from a battered 150 year old body back into my 14 year old one," Harry answered groggily.

George spoke for all of them when he let out a succinct "Fuck!" Harry grunted his agreement before forcing his eyes properly open and glancing around at his audience.

"Professor Dumbledore is still planning your death and your return wasn't exactly subtle. I believe you are still required to participate in the tournament but you will probably have to ask to be certain. Sirius... will have to be committed to either Azkaban or St. Mungoes, the Dementors took too much from him during his time in Azkaban and he will only ever see you as James reborn. Remus is aware of the bribes and the mistreatment but currently sees Dumbledore as his alpha. You were kept away from him for too long as was proven at the end of last year when he nearly ate you and Hermione. If he still saw you as his cub Moony would not have been able to threaten you. You can demand a resort at any time and can demand access to anything that is within the rights of an adult or Triwizard Champion," Luna informed him, amusement dancing around her mouth and throughout her voice.

Harry took a few moments to process what she had said before telling them all his idea. "Right... plan is to say it was a prank gone wrong meant for after the name drawing. I will naturally protest that I didn't put my name in but my little tantrum about Barty putting it in instead is going to need covering. Thank god I had the sense to keep calling him Moody. I'm not backing down on my claim over Snape and we can blame that on Sirius slipping and saying he owed James a life debt. I'll invoke the damn thing if I have to to keep him so you lot keep that in mind. Ron... is going to be useless with jealousy this year and I'm not sure I want to rekindle the friendship after his tanty is done. I'll need help watching for love potions and the like. If I start acting like I fancy any girl knock me out with something and get me purged. I may be Bisexual but right now just about everyone at the school except for the teachers count as a child. I won't sleep with children. Before either of you terrors ask, no you don't quite count as children but I'm still not sleeping with you." This easily shut down the obvious interest from Fred and George as soon as he saw the idea dawning on their faces. Luna giggled at their identical pouts and patted them consolingly.

"I don't mind being blamed for helping with a prank. I can use the CONSTANT VIGILANCE act and call it prep for unexpected situations. They'll just put it down to Moody's paranoia. We might need to kill off my father and Karkaroff at some point. Oh! Can I reclaim Winky? I always rather liked her," Barty asked sheepishly.

"Call her, she ought to be here by now. Just make sure she understands that neither your father nor Dumbledore can know about any of this and to call you Moody," Harry suggested, realizing immediately that they were looking to him for both direction and information. He wryly blamed his own loose tongue for practically giving the game away as soon as he realized when and where he had landed.

"What am I doing? I gather that the twins are going to be partly blamed for tonight's ruckus and you might use them to isolate people for talks," Hermione asked in a combination of wariness and eagerness that had Harry glancing at her fondly.

"You will be helping research a bunch of different stuff and helping me revise for school this year. I have to be the very public bait and if we're smart about it we can get Rita to claim I've got two girlfriends, you and Luna. In point of fact you're both only friends and helping me to survive the tournament because Dumbledore doesn't care if I survive or not. We get to start mentioning how much danger the school has been put in because of Dumbledore's choices and his damn attempts to test me. Snape can even decline to comment on things while getting caught muttering about Dumbledore threatening him with Azkaban if he doesn't dance to the goat's tune," Harry mused, his thoughts running wild as he plotted the best way to keep his precious people safe.

"My lord is going to ask what the catch is," Barty pointed out seriously.

"He's going to want me alive until we get a chance to work some things out. By publicly claiming Snape they can't toss him in Azkaban without a damn good reason. I won't force him to do anything but I can shield him from certain political machinations until he can decide what he want's to do. His oaths about me and your master aren't in as much conflict as he believes and I'm going to need a chance to remember the details before I can explain it all. As for the catch... I want to save as many lives as possible and renew our traditions but to make that work he has to be sane and we probably have to take out Dumbledore. As far as the old man is concerned I'm a disposable weapon, especially if it will get your master out of the way," Harry answered seriously. "My best position right now is among the students and most of them need better defense training. I'm considering starting up a defense club or something like what we'll need again next year if Umbridge is the defense teacher.... vicious bitch that she is. Dumbledore.... throwing him off and making it look like I'm still his golden puppet might be a bit on the tricky side with my personality change due to maturity. Think we can blame that on an experimental prank gone bad?"

"If I insisted that we use an experimental brew... possibly. Or someone could have contaminated it during the brewing process because they were interrupted," Barty agreed thoughtfully, really getting into it.

"We can do that," the twins agreed eagerly.

"Our brothers sometimes interrupt us," George offered with a grin.

"It wouldn't take much for something extra to have accidentally gotten into the potion because we have to hide it from mum half the time," Fred agreed mischievously.

"If you do any extra brewing this year it will be under my supervision and you will be giving me the antidotes," Severus insisted sternly.

"You won't stop us?" Fred asked shrewdly.

"Why should I care as long as it isn't used in my classroom and my snakes aren't the only targets," Snape countered smugly. That earned wide grins all around.

"Dumbledore's coming. We have just enough time for Mr. Crouch to become Professor Moody again," Luna said with a hum of contentment. She was glad she finally had real friends.

Barty hastily sat back down and swallowed a dose of potion while Severus chivied the students to the far side of the bed so that Harry was easily visible with his healing wounds on full display. The extra wards on the bedroom were turned off not a moment too soon as the main door to the dour man's quarters opened, letting in the noisy discussion of the tournament officials and the three school Heads. Barty slipped his eye and peg leg back into place with a soft grunt as the last of the changes settled into place, leaving him once more as Mad-eye Moody.

"Severus?" Dumbledore called out from the living room.

"In the bedroom," Severus shot back sourly as he positioned himself at the foot of the bed.

The thick oak door easily swung open on slightly creaky hinges, just the way the man liked it, revealing a bevy of officials and the three school Heads.

"Severus, why in the world did you whisk Mr. Potter away," Dumbledore chided, amusement lacing his voice that was chilled to dangerous temperatures by the look in the old man's eye.

"The boy simply had a bad reaction to the experimental prank that I took off the red twins over there," Moody waved away grandly. "It was perfectly timed as a test of the medical reactions at this school. _CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!_ You know perfectly well that it would be incredibly easy to get in and poison one of the students, Albus. Of course I wasn't planning for it to happen _during_ the name drawing, nor for Potter's name to actually come out," Moody said gruffly.

"You... planned this?" Albus asked uncertainly, the frigidity fading from his gaze.

"Potter agreed to the idea in exchange for extra tutoring in survival that _you_ have been refusing him. Good god man, he's got how many Dark Wizards out for his blood? Then when we got him here for treatment we find him covered in glamours and sporting ridiculous wounds! Senior Aurors don't have that many scars! What have you been doing to the boy that we needed to pour blood replenishers down his throat?!" Moody demanded indignantly.

"And Mr. Potter's earlier comment about you placing his name in the goblet?" Crouch demanded angrily.

"Modified Code for _get me out of here_. Brat's got a good head on his shoulders and was smart enough to let us treat him before trying to escape," Moody said with a harsh laugh. "The only problem with that turned out to be his _other_ injuries."

"I said I was sorry. No one ever tries to help except if I get hurt here during Quidditch or some insane person tries to kill me again," Harry said sulkily. "I usually snag potions from the hospital wing during the first week but I couldn't this time so they've been healing on their own. I've asked not to go back every year."

These answers had accusing eyes immediately aimed at the old goat.

"I'm sure its just an exaggeration," Dumbledore said calmly, inwardly fuming at Harry's inability to keep his mouth shut.

"You can trust Potter's words, one of the healing potions mixed with an ingredient in the prank creates a mild truth serum effect," Severus said dryly. "I doubt he's even aware of what he's saying at the moment."

"I'm sorry Aunt Petunia but I didn't break it. Dudley did it so that he could watch Uncle Vernon beat me again," Harry said, rolling his head as if he was so doped up that he couldn't hold it steady.

"Pet... you placed him with _Petunia_?! You _know_ the spiteful bitch hates magic! She made mine and Lily's life a living hell growing up!" Severus spat, visibly restraining himself from physically attacking the old man.

Dumbledore looked at the potion master's fury filled gaze before taking an unconscious step back. Luna calmly wrapped her arms around his waist, encouraging the others to do the same. This weighed the man down and kept him from lunging for Dumbledore's throat.

"Severus? Are you keeping Mr. Potter and his friends for the night?" Professor McGonagall asked, white faced and thin lipped.

"If you don't mind. I think that Potter needs to stay under observation and the presence of his friends may help him be more coherent at a later time. I will not allow the two youngest Weasleys to be present because of their inability to keep their hands to themselves and remain quiet. The twin menaces I can at least bribe into being quiet and giving me their antidotes," Severus answered her in a low voice of barely suppressed rage.

"Don't worry about them too much Minerva. I'll stay down here with them to make certain they aren't turned into potion ingredients. It is my fault that the boy is in this position in the first place," Moody admitted almost sheepishly. "I can also keep him from trying to kill Albus for the moment."

"Thank you Alastor. I'll have the elves send along night things for the five of them while I have a _talk_ with Albus," Minerva said with an angry growl aimed at the now shivering Headmaster. "If you two wouldn't mind I think that Mr. Potter might like a trip off of the grounds in the morning, perhaps a trip to Diagon Alley? I will of course excuse his four friends to go with him."

"Only these four," Moody cautioned. "I don't know what any of the other students might try. At least these twins can take the younger three and run if it comes to it. They're tricky enough that they probably would get them away on top of it all."

"Agreed," Minerva said without batting an eyelash before turning on Dumbledore with a shark-like grin. "Albus, I'd like a word with you."

"I.. that is... I must be going!" Dumbledore stammered before making a quick exit, the entire group following on his heels howling for clarification. Severus waited a moment before putting the bedroom wards back up.

"They're gone Harry," Luna said with blatant amusement as the four of them cautiously released the potions master.

"Oh, good. Rolling my head like that made me a bit dizzy," Harry admitted, fighting back a yawn.

"What you said about 'Tuny..." Severus trailed off expectantly.

"True, as was the comment about asking not to go back. Thankfully, most of the time I was simply ignored and had to find my own food. Heaven forbid I touch anything meant for her precious Duddikins. The chores were a bit of a problem getting them done daily when I hadn't eaten in a while or managed to get my hands on water after a day or two," Harry said with a casual shrug. He was reconciled with all of it, having more than a hundred years worth of memories to distance himself from the mistreatment. A yawn was the only warning he got before slipping into an exhausted sleep.


	2. Morning Blaze

The next morning there was fussing from everyone over Harry's wardrobe. Not a single one of them had realized that he literally only had rags and his scant school robes to wear, barring the Weasley jumpers.

"Hermione, if you can get them to stop fussing I promise to include clothes shopping _after_ the trip to Gringotts to file the paperwork on the situation. It will also get us access to the various vaults and things that Dumbledore doesn't want me to know exist, which includes multiple vaults of gold to _pay_ for the new wardrobe," Harry said very carefully. He had found out the hard way that Hermione was not only a mad scientist at heart but also a fashionista. The old man in a child's body mentally waved good bye to getting anything done except the paperwork at the bank and the new wardrobe. At least Draco Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy wouldn't be coming with them, they were just as bad and only slightly less terrifying when it came to fashion.

"What, do, you, know, that, we, don't?" the twins alternated speaking the words of their suspicious question.

"She's a shopaholic when it comes to books and clothes," Harry said smiling weakly. "So far she hasn't had a chance to discover the clothes shopping bit, only the books."

"You owe us," the twins grumbled simultaneously but didn't argue further. The stubborn looks of defiance he got from Barty and Severus though prompted Harry to try bribing them.

"A full day in the Chamber of Secrets and a cut of whatever we harvest from the Basilisk corpse while we're down there," Harry bargained, completely ignoring the indignant look that Hermione was shooting at him.

"Hermione and I will greatly enjoy the dress robes you will be buying for us so that we can enjoy the Yule Ball properly and Daddy will be ever so pleased with your interview," Luna said sweetly, naming her price for the trip. Harry took one look at the blond raven, gulped and nodded frantically. He knew that look and he wasn't going to risk arguing with the woman.

"You will be taking a potions regime at my direction and complete discretion to repair the damage done to your body. You will be allowing me to view your memories and either teach you to shield your mind or confirm your shields. You will also be drinking a permanent aging potion placing you at a minimum of 17, for which you will admit to stealing it from my stores," Severus growled. "Its bad enough that you've decided I belong to you, I won't be seen catering to the whims of an apparent child."

"Oh good," Harry agreed with relief. "I don't mind the detentions that will give me and I never managed to get myself properly fixed up before, too paranoid and too used to not receiving proper medical treatment. If you decide to stay with me you'll probably need to watch me to make sure I don't downplay injuries and illness or forget to eat. Barty? What's your price?"

"Seeing the Chamber is all well and good but I think I'm going to decide my official price _after_ this little trip. I just hope I've got enough polyjuice, and I have to feed the real Moody," Barty said gruffly, already in Moody form.

"Actually, we might be able to get him on side. He might want to curse you for kidnapping him and taking his place but I think we can make a deal," Harry said, his tone pure mischief.

"How?!" the twins demanded, gleeful at the idea of getting Mad-eye Moody in on what was turning out to be an awesome prank.

"First you have to understand that while my timeline wasn't technically bad there was a lot of missing information and a lot of people died that we found out didn't have to. Also your mum practically pushed Ron and Hermione together and shoved Ginny at me. I adored our children but Gin... didn't want what I wanted and we didn't mesh right," Harry warned. He figured he should get some of the relationship stuff out of the way. He knew he was a very big target for love potions and didn't want people choosing his partner for him, like last time. "Moody was able to stand up to Dumbledore and is the only reason I got any sort of extra training, even if he had to teach me on the sly. Dumbledore doesn't want us to be able to fight back. He wants to be the hero again."

"Hero complex?" Hermione asked in a sickly tone.

"Unfortunately," Harry agreed softly. "Mad-eye died protecting me as did Professor Snape. We finished Dumbledore's plan but it wasn't the right plan. It cost too many lives on both sides and the restrictions were ridiculous. I became known as a bit of a traditionalist... Ginny liked the fame and tried to keep us in the paper as often as possible. I tried to keep us out of the spot light yet still get something done. Last year I found some documents that showed the majority of Dumbledore's manipulations and attempts to be seen as a hero in perfect control of our world. It made me glad he was dead and angry all over again at how he forced Professor Snape to kill him. Admittedly, the ploy worked as intended but purposefully turning one's self into a martyr as Dumbledore did strips away much of its honor becoming less a sacrifice and more a selfish attempt at manipulation."

"And me?" the Moody shaped Barty asked quietly.

"Kissed due to an illegal order by Fudge less than 6 hours after the end of the third task once I got back. You slipped me away and wound up gloating about Voldemort's return. Dumbledore came blasting in and stopped you from doing anything to me," Harry admitted mournfully. It was clear to all of them he didn't like what had happened to the man.

"Many of the Muggleborns and Halfbloods are wondering if you were simply rambling in the great hall or were serious about... Doctor Who," Luna said, deftly changing the subject to something a bit less sad.

"How? There can't be that many who watched old episodes with their parents like Hermione does. They stopped airing it in 1989 and the movie doesn't come out until '96. They don't bring it back as a series until 2005," Harry said, completely baffled.

"Harry, I think you underestimate how popular the show was," Hermione said with bright amusement dancing in her eyes. "For the Halfbloods they can watch the memories of the episodes with special spells and magical tools if they don't have it on tape to watch on the telly. You are also forgetting that a lot of our schoolmates would have grown up watching it. Remember the years? _1989_ you would have been 9 when it stopped! Add on to that the different Doctors have done guest appearances on other shows even when their weren't new stories about the Doctor. Even the books are ever so popular!"

The dumbfounded look that engulfed his face had them all laughing as the two older wizards watched the interactions in amusement. Barty/Moody had no idea what they were talking about but Severus had enjoyed the show whenever he could manage to catch it on the telly.

"Dumbledore didn't understand the reference," Luna pointed out mischievously. "Professor Snape and the students familiar with muggle telly are the only ones who caught the reference. By now everyone is wondering what you're going to change and what you're going to keep the same."

"It helps that my being back is an automatic change and that all of the changes I want probably count as short term with long term consequences," Harry said thoughtfully.

"Actually, I think we split into a separate timeline since you replaced the younger you or at least got a memory update," Hermione pointed out thoughtfully. Harry grimaced as all the thought of time travel and its implications made his head hurt.

"What are your plans for the day? Is there anyone in the school who will be a threat? How badly am I going to want to assign detentions?" Severus asked smoothly, shifting the conversation away from the theoretical aspects of time travel that had just turned practical.

"Gringotts, new wardrobe... possibly offering to give a short statement to the school and the press... beyond that? Not sure. A lot of it will depend on how badly everyone else reacts to my change in circumstances," Harry said thoughtfully.

"Either way you aren't going back to the Dursleys," Hermione declared with absolute determination.

"No, and if anyone tries to force me back I will take it as valid reason to use lethal force," Harry agreed grimly, sending a shiver down Severus' spine that he wasn't entirely certain was all fear.

The potions master knew he was attracted to power but it was something he could ignore. This changed Potter altered _everything_. They would have to have a private discussion about some very important things but it wasn't something he was going to do until the brat at least _looked_ like an adult.

"If we're going to Gringotts why don't you just ask for an aging potion then?" Fred suggested.

"Yeah, if you pay for it from the goblins you can't get in trouble for it," George agreed wholeheartedly.

They quickly agreed on getting to Diagon once breakfast was done as they ate the food delivered by house elves and got ready for the day. Harry was insanely grateful that he didn't yet have to face the school but knew it would have to happen eventually. A quick word to Professor Snape and they had a detour to the entrance of the great hall while it was still filled to the brim.

They approached the entrance to the great hall soon after and Harry stubbornly moved in front of the group. Using his magic in a surge the giant doors slammed open, silencing all three schools. Harry calmly took his wand from his pocket and faced everyone before making an oath.

"I, Harry James Potter, do swear on my life and magic that I did not willingly enter the Triwizard Tournament. I do also swear that I did not know anything of magic or the Wizarding World until my 11th birthday. So mote it be!" Harry announced, casting a silent lumos to prove his sincerity. "Maybe this time you lot won't decide I'm a baby Dark Lord and instead _leave me be!_ "

"Harry, I'm certain that was entirely unnecessary," Dumbledore said in a false grandfatherly tone, a little worse for wear that morning.

"This is your one warning _Albus_ , do not fuck with me. You are only Hogwarts' Headmaster and if you try to force me back to the Dursleys I will take it as reason to use _lethal_ force. I am not an idiot or a pawn. Your plan is fucked up and I have absolutely no intention of walking to my own death regardless of how much it might be _for the greater good_ ," Harry spat, eyes blazing. " _This time_ if you want me dead you'll have to kill me yourself!"

Harry turned on his heel, using his magic to tug his little group along behind him they left the speechless great hall and headed for the entrance hall floo.

"That's going to set the lions among the lambs!" Barty/Moody said with a loud cackle of laughter.

By the time the rest of the so called adults came out of their stupor the group was long gone.


	3. Bank Draft

"Damn! I forgot to feed him," Barty/Moody said grumpily as they landed in the Leaky Cauldron.

"Call a house elf," Severus shot back with a roll of his eyes.

Barty/Moody did and warned Winky that this was one more thing she couldn't talk about with the staff and other elves. He had taken Potter's advice and reclaimed Winky during the night. To say that the small elf was ecstatic to once more belong to not only a family but the same one she'd been previously dismissed from was understating it.

The twins nearly cracked up when they heard the _real_ Moody being referred to as a pet but Hermione's disapproving glare kept them at the level of snickers. Harry practically reveled in the simple joy of his friends. God, how he had missed them.

The group quickly made their way to Gringotts and naturally had to wait until a teller became available. Harry noted the extra attention their group was being paid by the goblin guards and mentally reviewed his faded memories to see if they had pissed off the goblins already. It was only when he caught a young and clearly new guard staring straight at Barty that he realized what was going on. The goblins had picked up on the polyjuice potion. Since they weren't going to try accessing Moody's vault there shouldn't be any real problem but it was something they would naturally be concerned about. It would be politely ignored as long as the situation was somehow acknowledged as being either needed and/or not a threat to the bank's clientele.

While they were waiting for their turn Hermione took the chance to ask a few questions. They all knew that they were going to pin Harry in place for some of the more delicate answers later. That didn't stop them from wanting _something_ immediately.

"Harry, why did you announce that to everyone in the great hall?" Hermione asked carefully.

"Which part? The part where I definitively prove I didn't put my name in the goblet? The part where I publicly challenged Dumbledore's plans? Or the part where I warned them about my reaction to returning to Privet Drive?" Harry asked with a slight smirk.

"All of them!" the twins said firmly. Luna just giggled, knowing most of the answers already due to her seer blood.

"The goblet proof was actually to keep everyone from turning on me. If you'll remember second year that wasn't fun. For warning about the Dursleys... well I can at least say I warned them when they pull something stupid. As for his plans... meh, it will speed up his response a bit and we'll have a better idea in what arena we'll have to fight him, personal, political, legal, etc." Harry explained. "I don't think I ever told you guys but the hat wanted me in Slytherin. The only problem was I'd met Draco and both Ron and Hagrid kept telling me how evil Slytherin was along with how great Dumbledore was... I didn't have enough background to make an informed decision."

"If you or Snape don't demand a resort I am," Barty/Moody informed them with a bark of laughter.

"Hey, it worked perfectly as camouflage!" Harry protested, setting the stunned twins off in a riot of laughter.

"We're hidden snakes too!" the twins laughed, joyous at the thought of not being the only ones hidden in the lion's den.

"Hermione was supposed to be a raven. You could say that we don't have a lion among us," Luna agreed serenely. "Wouldn't it be a shock if we all asked for a resort?"

That thought stopped them all dead. The group of seven seriously considered it and reached a silent agreement to look into the idea, or in the case of the two Professors officially request a resort for the five students. Of course the two Professors had a good idea that there would be protests to the resorting but they both were planning on mentoring the five. The twins and Potter needed watching, while Luna and Hermione honestly needed help in one area or another, not necessarily academically. Snape also planned to run Potter through the entire potions curriculum from 1st to 7th year. It had probably been long enough for Lily's child that he would need a refresher course on _everything_ and it would give him a chance to correct his opinion on the brat turned old man.

Harry, while not opposed to the idea of a resort for himself and his four closest friends, Ron having repeatedly broken his trust even as adults, had other plans. For the first he would make sure his four friends understood how he valued them. He knew that Snape at least would corner him at some point. This would work into his plans wonderfully since he wanted to repay the man for all the times the potion master had saved his butt. There were a couple of ways he could do that, one of which however would put the man under his near complete control. Harry was still deciding on which way he was going to protect or at least shield Snape when they were called up to the teller.

"State your name and business," the goblin declared bruskly.

"Harry Potter, accidental time travel paperwork and changes to my accounts," Harry said confidently. "I would like for Griphook to assist us in our business. Gringotts and Griphook will both be paid the standard extra assistance fees."

"Foolish wizards," the goblin muttered before saying something in gobbledygook into the embedded intercom enchantment on his desk. "Griphook will be with you shortly. Wait over there."

The group moved over to the area they were told to and waited less than five minutes before Griphook showed up.

"Good to see you again Griphook," Harry greeted pleasantly. Griphook just grunted in surprise and led them further into the bank to an account manager's office.

"You're dismissed," the account manager told Griphook once they were all inside the office.

"Is my coin not good enough for Gringotts then?" Harry asked coolly. "I am paying for the extra assistance and specifically requested this goblin. If you are going to try and _steal_ my choices and my gold perhaps I should take it and my business elsewhere."

Harry's words clearly stung the account manager and nearly drove the goblin into a panic. Loosing a client without a very good reason was grounds for execution in goblin culture. The more valuable the client the harsher the interrogation prior to execution.

"No, of course not!" the account manager protested hurriedly. Griphook smirking off to the side told them that Harry's response was either very appropriate or the account manager was a pompous idiot.

"To start I'd like a full accounting of the my finances and any transfers since the death of my parents. They should be nearly non-existent since I have barely touched my resources and have no magical guardian to my knowledge nor have I authorized anyone to use my accounts," Harry told the goblin authoritatively. At these words the goblin froze in dread prompting Harry to drawl his conclusion. "I take it that money has been removed without my consent?"

"We have letters on file granting permission for certain withdrawals, some of them ongoing, and Albus Dumbledore is shown as your ministry appointed guardian due to the imprisonment of your godfather. Though the fact that he never had a trial puts the transfer of guardianship in doubt due in part to our records showing Mr. Black as your guardian," the account manager explained hesitantly.

"I have been repeatedly informed that the Dursley family received no assistance or reparations for their piss poor attempts at caring for me while under their muggle guardianship. I also had no knowledge of the wizarding world until the very same day I came here with Hagrid and he retrieved the Philosophers Stone. As far as I was aware until that point I had no money, no resources to speak of, would amount to nothing, and that my drunk layabout parents had died in a car crash leaving my scar as a reminder. At this point I am tempted to simply file suit against Gringotts for withholding my property and allowing theft from my vaults. From my point of view you have made no attempts to contact me, nor inform me of the status of my assets, nor confirm that I did indeed authorize any transfers," Harry said in clearly unimpressed tone. The fact that it had both goblins going nearly white was simply a bonus in the minds of his small audience.

"And when are you going to fill out the time travel paperwork you mentioned?" Snape drawled, with a vicious smirk. He was thoroughly enjoying the show and the further display of Harry's Slytherin side. This also had the added benefit of informing the goblins that he was not only not a child but likely fully or nearly fully informed as to the probable _errors_ in his account.

"Why am I here Mr. Potter?" Griphook asked carefully.

"You are here to replace my current financial manager on the grounds of allowing theft from my accounts. I will be perfectly happy to confirm which transfers and withdrawals were either with my permission or done under my authority even if it turns out to be retroactive," Harry answered promptly, a smirk stretching its way across his physically 14 year old face.

"Don't forget about the permanent aging potion, brat," Severus grumbled. If he fell under Potter's authority the brat had better have the decency to at least _look_ like he was 17.

"That's part of the time travel paperwork," Harry shot back with a snort of amusement. "The fact that my name came out of the blasted Goblet of Fire as a Triwizard Champion last night just makes it easier since it automatically declared me an adult. It means that there is no way for the ministry or Dumbledore to claim I'm still a minor and under the guardianship of anyone. I can also completely ignore the trace."

There was a minor scuffle as the guards that Griphook had called subdued the former account manager before bodily removing him from the room.

"It may take me some time to sort out the status of your accounts," Griphook informed Harry respectfully. This was one wizard he didn't want to cross.

"That's understandable," Harry agreed calmly. "I'm willing to wait but I don't see any reason not to fill out the paperwork for my newly acquired adult status, the time travel paperwork, and the sibling adoption paperwork for Hermione, Luna, and the Weasley twins."

"That may change the status of your inheritance," Griphook pointed out cautiously.

"I am aware of that and it is something we five will need to discuss before finalizing the paperwork," Harry agreed affably. "That doesn't stop me from filling it out along with everything else while we wait for you to go over the records of my account and find any... inconsistencies your predecessor left. I wouldn't dream of cheating the goblin nation out of a rightfully earned fee for quick yet accurate work."

"That does change things. I will have refreshments brought to you while we sort out our respective paperwork," Griphook said agreeably. The paperwork was quickly assembled with Hermione being given a book on Goblin culture and one on House Elves at Harry's suggestion. Luna simply asked for some of her own paperwork associated with the Lovegood Heir ship before gently guiding Barty/Moody out of the room. They left at the same time that more helpers arrived to go through the paperwork of the previous manager.

"I think, Little Luna, has her eye, on somebody," the twins said, alternating, as they smirked after Luna.

"Hm? Oh! She's a seer and probably knows that Barty might be a tad on the reluctant side until she's older," Harry agreed with a shrug before returning to his paperwork.

Snape kept an eye on the curious twins as they carefully poked around the office. He resisted the urge to go find and retrieve Lovegood, knowing that as clients they were under goblin protection on the bank's grounds and thus mostly safe. The fact that Potter had just confirmed Luna's seer status for a second time really wasn't as much of a surprise as it could have been, that girl was far too perceptive.

It took Harry a couple of hours to finish filling out the details of his unintended time travel. Having to cite previous incidents where magic decided to do something odd around him was mentally exhausting but worth it to prove he wasn't an idiot playing with time travel for a lark. The sibling adoption paperwork was much nicer.

"Oi! Forge, Gred, get over here and help me fill these out," Harry called with a smirk as he handed over the time travel paperwork. The twins immediately abandoned the artifact they had been examining in favor of getting a new little brother.

"Everything about the time travel seems to be in order," Griphook grumped, thoroughly examining the newly completed paperwork. A permanent aging potion appeared in his hand from somewhere before being handed over to the Potter Heir.

Before Harry could swallow it Snape swiped the potion and examined it, using his expertise as a potions master to assure that it would poison the brat.

"You're insulting them," Harry pointed out with more than a little amusement.

"You still haven't answered my questions and I will not loose you to a poorly brewed potion. This one is of excellent quality and potency, as to be normally expected of goblin wears," Severus shot back as he handed over the vial. The pleased look from Griphook told the twins that the goblin had understood the complement from an expert just fine and wasn't offended in the least.

Harry accepted the vial back and downed in a single smooth, practiced motion. Shuddering at the taste he made sure neither it nor breakfast made a reappearance. They watched as Harry physically aged until he was just over 17, a flash of increased power showing the exact point he physically passed the age of 17 years old. Harry wore the new power like a cloak that was an old friend.

"Should you choose to go through with the sibling adoptions the oldest will be your heir until such time as you have a child," Griphook noted. "Had you completed the adoptions before taking the potion and/or claiming your Lordships they would have taken precedence and been in line ahead of you."

"I am aware, just as I am equally aware that they would have hated the responsibilities that would have taken them away from their beloved pranks," Harry said agreeably. "Now, before we complete the adoption paperwork I'd like to know what assets I have. I noticed that you called in helpers and used magic to speed up the process."

"We did. In the process we discovered that you have yet to officially claim the Potter and Black Heirships," Griphook informed him respectfully. "We also found numerous transactions that would have required your authorization and/or that of your guardian. Authorization was on file but you rejected the existence so there will have to be a further investigation into the matter."

"Ah? Oh, Sirius must have already claimed his lordship and named me heir. I had wondered about the timing the last time around," Harry said thoughtfully. "Once you've confirmed it to the bank's satisfaction I would like a full listing of what was stolen and by whom. I would also like to try and get it back, if possible."

"There are also a few other Heirships and many vaults that are yours as bequests but the magic can not check you for worthiness until you have claimed the Potter Lordship," Griphook explained. "Albus Dumbledore has been acting as both your Magical Guardian and has been holding the Proxy on your votes. Do you wish to change that?"

"Yes, should the Ministry or Dumbledore have me once more declared a minor Tom Marvolo Riddle or Severus Snape is to take custody. Anyone else is to be qualified as kidnappers. I would prefer to have them charged under Goblin law rather than Wizarding law, especially since you found the evidence to support my earlier commentary about theft in the papers you processed. To avoid further attempts at theft only my spouse or those of my blood may access my accounts without my physical presence accompanying them. Dumbledore and those of his pet Order, barring Severus Snape, are forbidden to hold my proxy votes or my guardianship. I may include further exceptions at a later time but I must physically present myself to Gringotts with a full identity check to make the change," Harry instructed, handing over a notated list of the transactions he knew had occurred with his authorization and the few that had retroactive authorization.

Griphook quickly went over the list and noted the approved transactions as well as Harry's exacting conditions about his own guardianship and Wizengamot proxies. Just as a dazed Barty/Moody returned trailing behind a beaming yet smug Luna.

"Harry this adoption paperwork..." Hermione began only to trail off at Harry's brilliant smile.

"It will mean that you really are my brothers and sisters," Harry explained. "Since we don't want to leave here without the adoptions being finalized you need to fill in the information you want to change on the one paper and then add a drop of my blood to a potion before drinking it. I filled in the current information as best I could and you guys just have to confirm that to the best of your knowledge its correct or update it then confirm it. After that... we'll be family by blood and magic!"

There was a bit of a rush from his friends as they grabbed for the paperwork making Harry laugh. He knew that their excitement was because they would be family not because he was rich. They eagerly looked over the paperwork, making certain it was what he said it was before adding minor corrections and filling in the legal changes they wanted to go with the adoption. The paperwork was quickly exchanged for the adoption potion to which Harry added his blood and they each quickly swallowed it.

Magic swirled all about them as the changes all appeared within five minutes before the last wisps of power faded away. Hermione gained a slightly more red tint to her bushy brown hair. Luna went from pale blond to strawberry blond almost instantly. The twins each went from bright fire truck red to a darker shade, closer to blood red. All four of them gained a slice of emerald green in their eyes, making the coloring look like two different colored doughnut cakes with a single slice swapped out.

"Awesome! We're the Potter-Weasley Twins!" Fred and George chorused.

"And I'm Hermione Potter-Granger," Hermione said with a smile.

"I'm Luna Potter-Lovegood. I'm so glad I got daddy to approve the adoption before school started," Luna said happily. It was clear to Snape and Barty/Moody that not a single one of them were fussed to suddenly be younger siblings to Harry.

Harry quickly wrapped up their business and after a trip down to his trust vault for funds they headed for the clothing stores.


	4. New Wardrobe

As they walked out of Gringotts Harry decided to try and get the clothes part of the shopping trip over with as quickly as possible and made a beeline for Madam Malkins. Hermione and Luna immediately jerked him up short and made him enter Twilfitt and Tatting's, a high end clothing store that he was familiar with from the times when Narcissa and Draco managed to corner him. Their attempts at ensuring he was wearing appropriate attire were whole heartedly supported by his friends once they had all reconciled a few years after the final battle.

Ginny had talked them all into ganging up on him to get him out of old but comfortable clothing into smart robes and suits. Which is how the two groups had been talked into a civil conversation and a proper attempt at getting along in the first place. Harry was mortified at the shopping trip and fashion show that resulted but was pleased that it helped to mollify the bad blood between the Weasleys and the Malfoys.

Today Harry was faced with a Seer, two Pranksters, a Shopaholic/Bookworm, a Dead Man/Spy, a Potions Master/Spy, and the prospect that he hadn't set a limit to the new wardrobe. The moment they got him into Twilfitt and Tatting's Harry began to whimper, trying to turn and run only for the twins to catch him and play musclemen for the girls. Both Barty/Moody and Severus grinned sadistically as they watched Harry's new siblings sit him down and call for an attendant.

"Oh no you don't. If I have to deal with this so do the four of you!" Harry said with a scowl, trapping the other four men in the shop just as they tried to sneak out the door or hide in a shady corner.

"How may I be of service?" the female shop attendant asked warily.

"Our brother needs a whole new wardrobe," Luna informed the woman with a beaming smile. The woman looked at Harry questioningly and he reluctantly nodded.

"Our brothers need stuff too. I promised them all a couple new outfits and the girls talked me into a complete new wardrobe," Harry admitted reluctantly. "I might as well get Professor Snape a new brewing outfit and an extra item for chaperoning us today. Heaven knows that my brothers are probably going to make today a nightmare for him and Professor Moody."

"OI!" the twins said in protest, their grins taking the sting out of the near instant objection.

"You've been wearing those rags for too long. You're not going back so you don't have to keep using what the Dursleys gave you. Since you're not going back, they can't take it away from you and burn it," Hermione pointed our reasonably. "You've got more than enough galleons and we've both heard Draco bragging about getting his clothes here except for the school robes."

Harry blew out a hard breath that lifted his bangs and revealed his famous scar before reluctantly nodding. The woman's eyes widened as she realized exactly who her customer was. She also remembered the standard silence policy about rich and famous customers.

"You don't have to get us anything," Fred pointed out.

"Yeah, we're just happy you adopted us as siblings," George agreed with complete sincerity.

"You just lost the right to refuse a full wardrobe," Luna said with an evil grin. "Harry is Lord Potter-Black along with all the other Lordships he qualified for. We are his new siblings. How much disrespect do you think _Harry_ will get because they think he's too skin flint to make sure his family is outfitted right? At school it isn't really a problem since we all use the same uniforms but on Hogsmeade weekends? Over the summer? At the parties we're going to be invited to as Harry's family?"

The twins wilted like hot butter in 150 degree heat. They took the seats to either side of Harry with a resigned air that had both of their chaperones snickering. Hermione got started on picking out certain everyday clothes and robes, a mix of muggle and magical while Luna snuck over to the two professors and tossed up a privacy charm.

"Professor, I've already explained to Barty that he's mine. Harry is going to give you a choice and he will do his absolute best to see that you survive what's coming. The problem is that he won't expect what you need to give him. If you choose Harry you have to chose _all_ of him, his service, his bed, his heart. If you're very lucky you can snag the Dark Lord as a third. It won't work if the two of you don't choose Harry. As his friends and siblings we can somewhat keep him grounded but if someone who actually cares about him isn't willing to be his life partner there's a good chance he'll go insane or fade away into nothing," Luna informed them bluntly. "Harry doesn't believe that he's worth loving. Ginny loved his fame in the other timeline, not him. He's convinced himself that while his children loved him it wasn't something he would have been given if he weren't their father. You and the Dark Lord have had similar childhoods to Harry, it will be up to the two of you to decide how you anchor him or if you will force him to destroy himself even as he destroys the two of you in self defense."

"And if I choose something else?" Severus asked cautiously.

"Then Harry may still choose you but his possessiveness will combine with the life debt you owe him which will push to be fulfilled. He will claim you in any way he can if you try to walk away. If you side with Dumbledore... he will try to convince you otherwise and when that fails will keep you out of harms way, forever trapped or completely destroyed which will in turn kill him. If you side with the Dark Lord he will respect the claim of Lord and Vassal, allowing you to walk away but trying to stay close in any way the two of you will allow. If you choose him, he will eventually claim you as his lover. Should you become lovers it would be up to you to suggest marriage because he would fear chasing you away by suggesting that you be tied down to him when you could have better," Luna elaborated. "You could get away from all of this if you chose but there would be a cost and Harry would forever search for you, it would kill him within five years after you left."

"Why?" Snape asked with a suddenly dry voice.

"Magic," Luna said simply. "Some magic doesn't need an incantation or ritual or even conscious intent, it just happens. It also tends to be some of the strongest and nearly impossible to break. This magic started with your friendship with Lily, grew with her sacrifice, and grew even further as you continued to protect him. Harry sees it as something he must repay even if it should cost him his life. Even after all this time he doesn't fully appreciate how much his own life is worth."

"I... will try," Severus agreed hesitantly. Luna beamed at him just as the privacy spell shattered under a shriek of outrage.

"I'm _not_ wearing _that_!" Harry cried in complete outrage. "Its _pink_ you bloody tossers!"

"But it would look perfect on you Harrykins!" George cried with glee as the twins chased him all around the room waving some pink frilly object.

"Don't worry about the color! We'll match it to your lavender skin!" Fred cackled.

"I don't have lavender skin!" Harry shot back as he dodged behind a display.

"You will!" the twins chorused. The shop attendant was off to one side, trying to keep from laughing at their antics.

"ENOUGH!" Snape commanded, gaining instant obedience from the twins as Harry peeked fearfully from his hiding place.

"They picked the colors quickly enough for most of their wardrobes. All of them stuck with simple things. I also had to blackmail all three of them for the expensive protective charms but at least they didn't argue about the dragon hide boots," Hermione informed her fellow female as Luna came over to inspect the haul. "They won't go beyond a basic wardrobe!"

"That's fine. We're burning the rest of their clothes except for the Weasley jumpers and Harry's special cloak when we get back. We had to blackmail them into doing this in the first place. As it is it might raise a few too many questions from people suffering under the influence of the green beast, even more so if they had complicated expensive things. Next time we'll make sure that Draco and Lady Malfoy come with us. They won't be able to with stand a proper wardrobe then," Luna said soothingly, causing both Harry and Severus to shiver at the evilness of the future shopping plan.

"I couldn't talk them into dress robes," Hermione lamented.

"Ah! But dress robes are mandatory this year and we need some too," Luna said mischievously. The wizards all took one look at the witches and tried to bolt. The shop attendant had kindly locked down the door so they couldn't escape as Luna and Hermione advanced on the five of them.

"You can't do me! I'm not fit for dancing!" Barty/Moody protested, banging his borrowed peg leg for emphasis.

"We have to chaperone the ball and if I'm stuck getting new robes than so are you," Severus snarled at the polyjuiced man.

Luna kept hold of Barty/Moody the whole way through his choice of robes and fitting while Severus was kept with Harry due to the machinations of his sisters.

"Did your impossible luck transfer to your siblings Potter?" Severus snarked, breaking the awkward silence that had arisen between the two of them.

"God, I hope not. I have enough trouble keeping my hide intact and I don't want to find out how they'll react if they find out," Harry muttered ruefully.

"Why is Lovegood, pardon Potter-Lovegood, pushing me to spend time with you?" Severus asked, curious to see the brat's reaction and answer.

"Luna!" Harry said with complete irritation aimed at his youngest sister.

"You stay near him and he won't die," Luna said simply, completely souring Harry's righteous indignation.

"Oh," Harry said, turning back to his somewhat uncomfortable conversation with a man he deeply respected.

"When we return you will be accompanying me and beginning your first round of potions after I have checked your medical condition. You will also be going through the entire potions curriculum from 1st year through 7th as well as your defense knowledge. We will be working on your deficient or forgotten skills throughout the year as we plot how to handle the tasks," Severus informed the green-eyed brat. Harry nodded stiffly, offering a tentative smile for the dark green shimmery dress robe that Snape was suddenly dressed in by the attendant.

"No, too plain. Can we add silver Pipping? Maybe offset it into shades of dark green in a fading pattern with shadow leaves along the sides?" Hermione suggested.

"Certainly. For Mr. Potter?" the attendant asked, thoroughly enjoying her job.

"He looks good in green too but instead of dark greens fading into black with shadow leaf patterns why don't we have a brighter green at the shoulders fading into this dark pine green. No gold or really any bright colors. My brother prefers understated and likes hiding in the background," Hermione mused with pursed lips.

"Silver snakes along the bottom, at the cuffs, and cobras along either side of the seam. Outlined in silver but fill in the color of the cobra's normally," Luna suggested mischievously.

"But he's a snake in a king lion skin!" Fred protested with George nodding vigorously.

"Actually, he's a bit closer to a dragon.... or a panther," Luna pointed out thoughtfully.

"What about silver lines along the seams with a black panther stretching from his left breast to his right. The head and forelegs would be over his heart and the tail would curl along his right side over the right lung?" Hermione suggested, taking Luna's theme and running with it. "It would look ever so lovely on the green shifted background."

"Only if the twins get monkeys on their robes," Harry said grumpily.

"Done!" the girls chorused. That decision officially ended the shopping spree around 3, leaving them to debate whether to eat out or back at the castle.


	5. Lunch Out

"My my my, Severus, this is a bit of a surprise," came the regal voice of one Lucius Malfoy from behind them as they debated buying lunch or returning to Hogwarts.

"Lucius, Narcissa," Severus greeted pair warily.

"I do not know if you are aware but we had a visit from a particular rat delivering a message from a mutual acquaintance," Lucius said formally, absently casting a privacy spell but still keeping his word choice cryptic.

"Is there any hope that the rat of a man failed to properly pass through your wards and became in desperate need of St. Mungoes?" Harry asked with a snort of amusement mixed with disgust.

"Our friend received your message Mr. Potter, perhaps your group has time for tea?" Narcissa smoothly stepped into the breach in conversation. She had recognized Harry by his scar and figured that he had been fed a temporary aging potion to help avoid being noticed during their shopping trip. It was a school day after all and Severus was anything but an idiot.

"I didn't think he'd receive the owl so quickly," Barty/Moody muttered in obvious surprise, gaining the immediate attention of the blond duo.

"You..." Lucius began only for Barty/Moody to interrupt.

"Am not what I seem," Barty/Moody said with a smirk. He was thoroughly enjoying getting one over on Lucius.

"Why don't we adjourn to The Empire's Court? They serve a lovely selection of teas and sandwiches," Narcissa put in before her husband could officially take insult.

"Not to mention superb privacy charms and guaranteed confidentiality, complete with allowing patrons to set up their own paranoid wards during the meal or discussion," Severus drawled in obvious amusement.

"And hideously expensive to boot," Barty/Moody said in equal amusement. Neither man argued that it might not be unwarranted and the group proceeded down Diagon Ally only to head into a cross street called Gastric Ally.

As the name implied Gastric Ally was nearly overwhelmed with all sorts of places dedicated to one food or another. There were bakeries, coffee shops, sweet shops, pubs, and restaurants galore. The restaurant cum meeting place was set about midway down the Ally and had an artful facade reminiscent of a druidic holy glade, complete with stone alter. Harry could tell from his past experiences with loosing blood and idiots trying old magic that the alter wasn't stained with blood but instead wine. A flash of light showed a mixed greek and druidic type carving with Demeter and a form that was unfamiliar to the time traveler.

Lucius aimed a knowing look at the steward, who clearly recognized him which quickly had them ushered into a private dinning room. Their orders were taken after a 20-30 minute perusal of the menu which remained off to one side in case of further orders. They would not see their waiter again until they called for the check.

"Who are you really?" Lucius immediately demanded from Barty/Moody.

"Bartemius Crouch Jr.," Harry drawled with an evil smirk. "Believed dead but replaced by his polyjuiced mother in Azkaban who died in his place. Has since been under near constant Imperious by his father until the Quidditch World Cup at which he stole my wand to let off the Dark Mark."

The small group of shoppers enjoyed the visible shock from the Malfoys, giving the appetizers time to appear via magic at each of their places. Luna took the chance to snuggle up against her future husband and make him extremely uncomfortable in the process.

"Perhaps we should introduce everyone properly," Severus suggested wickedly. "Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, may I present the Potter family. Lord Hadrian Jameson Potter, his brothers Frederick and George Potter-Weasley, his sisters Hermione Potter-Granger and Luna Potter-Lovegood. I have the sneaking suspicion they chose their particular last names to avoid being forced to answer to a new last name in school and increase confusion when the adoption is discovered."

The utterly stunned look on the Malfoy's faces were priceless. The Potters held the laughter in as long as they could before releasing it so that they wouldn't burst at the seams.

"Harry's physically 17 now but his mind is around 165," Luna informed everyone impishly. The dead silence that followed had most everyone looking either at Luna or Harry.

"Little Moon did you have to tell them?" Harry asked gently, amusement practically brimming from him.

Luna nodded solemnly before explaining. "They have to understand or you won't get the support you need. I don't want to loose my brother because he fell back into the habit of running into danger or decided to walk up to the current Dark Lord before allowing himself to be killed again."

Severus gave a wordless snarl, yanked Harry out of his seat next to him, flipped him over his knee and whapped his bum several times before growling at the startled time traveler. "If you _ever_ consider doing that I'll tan your hide before locking you away somewhere I can keep your fool neck _out_ of trouble."

"And the spanking?" Harry asked archly, craning his neck to see the other man's thunderous features.

"I understood her just fine, she said _again_. The spanking was for trying it in the first place. Once we're back at the school you are moving into my quarters so I can keep an eye on you," Severus snapped, pure aggravation, frustration, and bone deep terror.

"Okay," Harry said with a shrug before gently pulling himself free of the shaking, terrified hands. Pausing only long enough to rub away the sting in his bum a bit before returning to his own seat.

Harry fully understood the impulse having had several children with his same knack for getting into trouble and helping to raise them in the previous timeline. With what he had discovered near the end of the Second War with Voldemort and afterwards he didn't begrudge the man his actions, approving wholeheartedly despite the momentary discomfort. Besides it just made the man even more perfect in his eyes and he planned very firmly on keeping the dour man alive.

"Draco?" Narcissa started to ask only to be relieved by the various smiles.

"Draco survived the war the last time around just fine and I spoke for your family. Lucius was confined to Malfoy lands for ten years and the family money was cut in half by the fines but you had a beautiful grandson. All three of you were alive to see him marry my daughter, Lily Luna. As a wedding gift I called Severus back from the grave for a few hours as a temporary ghost with the fabled resurrection stone for some private family time. It somehow prompted you to unofficially adopt me into the family and allowed me to repay a debt I owed you all when several ministry idiots tried sending Dementors after your family. After that your family kept my secrets, sometimes better than my own family did," Harry explained gently.

"You are _shitting us!_ " the twins exclaimed. Hermione hit her prankster brothers with paired stinging hexes for their language before locking her eyes laser-like onto Harry.

"I said it turned out alright," Harry answered her stare with a shrug. Hermione gave a wordless growl of worried frustration but let the matter drop.

"Time traveling brat," Severus snarked.

"Grumpy brew master," Harry shot back with a smirk.

"The man's plans still caused more deaths than were needed," Luna pointed out.

"I never said the plan wasn't insane and couldn't be fixed only that it _worked_ the last time around," Harry reposited with a grimace. "I'm _not_ going to live through the exact same insanity again if I can bloody well help it. I'm not an idiot and neither is Tommy boy, he just has a bit of a sanity issue which we can fix. Besides, I've already changed too much for a perfect replay any way."

"You just want to duel him properly," Luna giggled, snuggling into the side of her slightly dazed fiance.

"Well, yes, of course I want to duel him properly but not when he's literally trying to take my head off," Harry said wryly. "Back on topic, Dumbledore screwed up and has his head so far up his arse with his bloody need to be a hero that we have to fix the mess for him... possibly have him committed. I'm actually rocking the boat dangerously but if this works.... less blood shed and more legal magic. If it doesn't... I will kneel to Voldemort and offer him my loyalty in the hopes of helping to stabilize his sanity."

There were nods of understanding from the rest of the Potter family and a reluctant one from Snape. Harry gave the man a lingering look before forcing himself back to the discussion at hand.

"You do not intend to fight the Dark Lord?" Lucius asked incredulously.

"Not if I can bloody well help it. I didn't like killing him the last time around. I'll do it if I have to but frankly? We're better off fixing the damage to his mind and possibly his soul than killing him. I'm already going to have to get Sirius committed and probably Bellatrix as well on my authority as Lord Black. Dumbledore won't go quietly when we remove him from power. So we need to either go for committing him to the tender mercies of a mind healer, stick him in Azkaban, or kill him out right. None of which are going to be easy. He's also currently the defacto ruler of the British Wizarding World, holding the equivalent titles of Head Magistrate, Head Diplomat, Head of the Wizengamot, control over the school, etc. Hell, he even sits on a literal throne at the school and rules over the supposed nobility through it if one wants to look at Hogwarts as a court," Harry muttered, shifting from talking to them to verbally plotting out the potential obstacles. "It took me the longest time to put that all together but then the old fool purposefully kept me in the dark."

"What sort of time frame are we working with here?" Fred asked seriously.

"If we're working while we're still in school..." George began.

"Because mum won't let us leave and from the sound of it Dumbledore won't let _you_ leave..." Fred continued.

"We can use pranks and drive people batty, especially since we obviously have to take out Dumbledore..." George mused.

"If you get us house elves we can harass the ministry and either prank them or sort out the paperwork they love..." Fred suggested.

"Or you could just go through the goblins and offer to prank the ministry into submission," Hermione interrupted them, earning a floored look from her brothers and a beaming smile from her sister.

"You lot are terrifying," Barty/Moody said finally.

"No? Really?" Severus asked sarcastically, eyeing his students with a new sense of respect and wariness. Harry snickered and waved away the plotting for the moment so that they could all work on their food.

"This is why Draco never wins his confrontations with you," Lucius said in a half strangled tone of voice.

"Well, I am a Potter, the child of the Marauders, a Black through Grandmother Dorea, a Peverell, a Gryffindor, and a Slytherin by blood right and magic," Harry drawled with a smirk. The shudder that went through Lucius, Severus, Narcissa, and Barty/Moody just made him grin wider.

"Severus? When do you plan to propose to him?" Narcissa asked politely.

"What?!" Snape asked defensively.

"Depending on whether they include his Darkness in the relationship I've got them plotted anywhere between five years and six months for one of them to propose," Luna told her brightly. "I still haven't sorted all of the fabrics and designs I want to use in the wedding and reception, provided we catch them before they elope. I thought that the wedding could be kept relatively small for the actual ceremony to keep down the guest list and a big flashy ceremony afterwards to satisfy the public."

"Colors?" Narcissa asked intrigued, setting the girls off into horrifying talks of marriage and wedding planning.

"Think we can escape?" Harry hissed out of the side of his mouth.

"If you leave me here alone with them I will kill you," Lucius hissed back, glowering primarily in Severus' direction. Fred and George exchanged a look before snagging the other males and bolting for the door only for all of the wizards to bounce off the wards both Luna and Hermione had set up.

"Oh dear, they're trying to escape," Narcissa said in bemusement. The men all cowered away from the predatory looks they were getting from the three witches.

"We have time," Luna said consolingly.

"We also have to get back to school," Hermione put in almost sadly.

"And we have to report back to our lord," Narcissa agreed mournfully.

"Next Hogsmeade weekend?" Luna asked brightly. The other two quickly agreed and the two groups went their separate ways.


	6. House of Cards

Their arrival back at the castle was mostly uneventful until they entered the great hall to appear to be getting a bit of supper with everyone else. After all no one said they had to actually eat anything. The shock came when they found a study hall set up and the only teacher in sight was Dumbledore, trussed up in his gilded throne and a very clear prisoner. The noise quickly died down as everyone began to notice their arrival.

"What's all this then?" Harry asked archly, perfectly exuding the authority of an annoyed parent.

"Harry?! You're... older," Ginny said uncertainly.

"Sorry sis!" Fred started.

"We've sort of stolen him from you," George confided.

"He's not interested in girls," they told her jointly. Hermione whacked both of them smartly for their antics and arched her own eyebrow at their audience, daring them to chastise her for something they had all dearly wanted to do at one point or another.

"Well you see Harry we sort of ganged up on the Headmaster," Seamus said sheepishly before going on to explain what had happened.

>   
>  _**Flashback** _
> 
> _Harry's group had just managed to floo away and everyone had resumed their seats in the great hall. Despite the interest in a further floor show, there was a building ugly grumble coming from the majority of students._
> 
> _"You all heard him. Harry didn't enter," Seamus Finnigan called out._
> 
> _"He said something about being forced to walk to his own death!" an older Ravenclaw halfblood called out._
> 
> _"Do we want a headmaster who would do _that_ to Harry?!" Dean Thomas called._
> 
> _There was an overwhelmingly negative response as more than half the school turned on the staff with angry mutterings. The foreign schools tried to scramble out of the way but were gently pressed back into their seats as the muggleborn and halfblood students entrusted the welfare of their guests to the clueless purebloods and magic raised halfbloods._
> 
> _Most of the staff noted the unrest with distinct worry. Professor McGonagall, on the other hand, took a final sip of her tea before gently guiding most of the rest of the staff away from the dias, remembering to usher along their visitors as well. This left Dumbledore, stuck in his chair due to a sticking charm, to the angry glares and more than three hundred wands of his students._
> 
> _"Mind you not to kill him, I very much doubt that Mr. Potter wants a blood bath. For that matter I suspect he will want his own pound of flesh once he gets back," McGonagall called back as the adults were gently ushered from the room, eliminating any official witnesses._
> 
> _"We'll see what we can manage Professor," one of the Prefects responded happily. "But I'm afraid that the _Headmaster_ is going to be a bit worse off once everything is done."_
> 
> _The doors slammed shut, leaving the so called Lord of the Light trapped in a room with over 1,000 teenagers, most of whom were angry at him._
> 
> _"Would someone please explain what is going on?!" came the indignant cry from Draco Malfoy, voicing the thoughts of all non-muggle raised Hogwarts students in the room._
> 
> _"Its simple. Doctor Who is a story on the telly. Its not airing any more but a main part of it is time travel. If Harry's pulled a Doctor we aren't going to be _stupid_ enough to ignore the information he brought back, even without a TARDIS to help him jump through time. He's done enough in the last three years that its not an impossible idea... 'least not for him. I'm one of his dorm mates and let me tell you sleeping through his nightmares about the bloody big Basilisk at the end of second year was nearly impossible! The ones at the end of first year with him dreaming of having killed Professor Quirrell when the stuttering fool was trying to kill him first weren't nice either," Seamus Finnigan told everyone, encouraging the ugly atmosphere. "If he's trying to spare us more of that, then I say good on him and how can I ruddy well help! Dumbledore told us _nothing!_ It was all a pat on the head and don't you worry we've got it all under control. Not even a bit of warning that we should be on the look out for something trying to eat us!"_
> 
> _"From what I understood the _Headmaster_ really buggered it up. If he was willing to send Harry to die what's to stop him from making the rest of us do the same?" came the shockingly unexpected voice of little Colin Creevy, anger practically dripping from his every word._
> 
> _"Now children," Dumbledore began only for it to set off the building mob. Magic was completely discarded as they pulled the old man down off his metaphorical pulpit and had him hog-tied, complete with gag, in 30 seconds flat. More than one student wanted to give him a kick in the balls or the gut but the judicious reminder that Harry should have first shot kept him from getting too battered._
> 
> _"Is this how you solve problems with your Headmaster?" the bewildered voice of Victor Krum drifted across the hall, his accent thick due to shock._
> 
> _"Not normally. From what they said Pothead managed something important and their taking their cue from how angry he is at Dumbledore. The thing is that I don't think he'd even approve of this. He said his piece and walked away so that he wouldn't waste his energy on a duel that he might not win," Draco answered, the grudging respect for his rival hard to miss in his voice. "Their reaction makes me rather glad he took Professor Snape with him though. If they're right and he did find out something important a lot more people than usual are going to want to get their hands on him. It will keep him from doing something stupid like disappearing on us."_
> 
> _"Something you _won't_ be telling your father about," Finnigan told the blond fiercely. "At least not without Harry's permission. If we aren't going to let Dumbledore kill him, what do you think we'll do to _you_ if Harry doesn't want your da to know and you go and tell him something he shouldn't know?"_
> 
> _"Its not that simple Finnigan," Pansy Parkinson informed the Irishman. "We say and do what we're told or we're out of not only our inheritance but on the street as well. The laws uphold a lord's right to near complete control over the family. The reason why we could sometimes pick sides in the last war was because our world was split down the middle. Some gave up everything to side with the light or the dark. We _can't_ move, the rest of you can because you aren't under the same laws as us. You are your own people... we don't have that luxury."_
> 
> _"Once we're of age we can transfer our trust funds and mostly have the skills to find a job but until we turn 17 or 21, depending on the family charter, we're stuck," Draco agreed with a bitter twist of the lip. "If we're lucky our parents listen to us and give us a choice in the marriage contracts. If we aren't... we're virtual prisoners by our own blood and magic."_
> 
> _"We'll have a proper discussion over muggle raised versus magic raised later. Right now we should decide what to do with yon old goat," someone pointed out. There was a general agreement and it was quickly decided to tie him to his seat at the staff table. They made a day of it in the great hall waiting for Harry to return, the adults occasionally glancing in to maintain a semblance of order. Everyone ignored Dumbledore's repeated attempts to escape and some enterprising Ravenclaw found a medical spell that meant the man wouldn't need to use the bathroom._
> 
> _**Flashback Ends** _   
> 

"....And that's what happened," Seamus finished, backed up by the enthusiastic agreement of the rest of the great hall and the students of three separate schools.

"Fine," Harry said with a deep sigh. "I'm not sure what else we're supposed to do and just being back has changed a lot... Let him loose. He's still got to play judge for the tournament. I don't feel like having my magic ripped away because he was feeling vindictive and found a way for me not to compete based on his own imprisonment but still subject to the consequences of refusing."

There was a loud groan from everyone and a lot of grumbling but they complied.

"He's still a fair prank target," Lee Jordan said evilly.

This cheered everyone up greatly and had Dumbledore wondering if he could get away with _accidentally_ killing Harry but then he'd wouldn't have a weapon against the dark. No, he couldn't kill the brat no matter how much trouble his pawn was causing him at the moment. Its not like everything couldn't be fixed with some loyalty and love potions along with the judicious use of memory charms.

To say that the old man swiftly retreated was understatement as his robes were flapping madly in the wind of his passing when the old goat bolted from the room.

"You are still getting moved into my quarters and going through the entire potions and defense curriculum while we fix the damage to your body," Snape pointed out sharply. He was slightly irritated that so many people wanted to be near the brat when Lovegood had already told him that he was the key to Harry's sanity or at least stability.

"What damage?" Ron demanded loudly.

"The damage that his relatives caused, you prat!" Fred said angrily.

"Why didn't you try taking him to St. Mungoes when mum didn't listen?" George added. "You could have snuck him out the floo while mum lit into us for taking the car!"

"You could have taken him when you stole the car to get to school or any time since! We were always watched because of our pranks and thought he'd been properly checked. You were with him all the time! We weren't!" they scolded together, speaking jointly in their fury.

"Enough! What's done is done and this time Snape is willing to brew the medical potions for me... and make me drink them," Harry said with a grimace. "If you really have to yell at Ron later. I want to lay down and I still have to get my stuff from the tower."

"You also need to be resorted," Barty/Moody said with a bark of laughter.

"Can't I just... skip it?" Harry asked giving the man pitiful puppy dog eyes that nearly made him cave before Snape could answer for him.

"No. You will be resorted and moved into my quarters so that I can watch you. You agreed to this already," Severus snarked, giving the brat a suspicious glare. Harry pouted a bit but nodded his agreement.

"Yeah, I did. Can't blame a bloke for trying," Harry said with a shrug. After that everyone broke up to head for their common rooms. Harry swiftly gathered his things and lugged them down to the dungeons. He would be sorted at breakfast when the staff rejoined the rest of the school.


	7. Breakfast Insanity

The first thing they all noticed at breakfast the next morning was that Harry still looked 17. The night before the twins antics had made everyone think it was a joke or some way to hide while walking around out of school. This morning the upper years quickly concluded and explained to everyone else that he must have drunk a permanent aging potion while at Gringotts. This sent speculation rampant as to why he would do that. Rumors abounded but the favorite was that because he came back in time he needed to age his body faster than usual simply to stay alive and help fix whatever went wrong.

As they entered the hall Snape didn't let Harry join his new siblings at the Gryffindor table. Instead the man dragged him up to the staff table for some breakfast while they waited for Dumbledore and the sorting hat. When a worse for wear Dumbledore finally entered with a practically spitting McGonagall on his heels there was no sorting hat in evidence, something Barty/Moody made sure to loudly point out.

"So you're going to refuse to resort Potter? Even after both Snape and I insisted last night?" Barty/Moody said in a voice that carried across the great hall, causing Dumbledore to freeze half way to sitting down.

"Its not like it matters. The hat said I have the traits of all four houses the first time around," Harry said into the quiet, not really paying attention.

"And which house did it recommend?" Professor Sprout asked kindly, thinking she was going to be told Gryffindor.

"Slytherin. I told it no since I'd only heard bad things about Slytherin and had a run in I didn't understand at the time with Draco Malfoy. I was essentially a clueless muggleborn and no one was explaining anything to me," Harry answered absently before taking a bite of his hash browns. The muttering that erupted among the various insulted purebloods and magic-raised halfbloods was almost as ugly as the way the muggle-raised had reacted the day before.

"But Albus told us you had received prior instruction! Tutors!" Filius exclaimed.

"Nope, and I don't think I had all the books the last time around either. I was picked up by Hagrid and told about the magical world on my eleventh birthday," Harry said with a shrug.

"And you lot wondered why I was suddenly being nice to the brat," Severus snarked. "His lack of knowledge is laid firmly at the feet of his magical guardian, our _dear_ Headmaster, who never even bothered to visit the brat much less make sure he was taught. No one can obey the rules flawlessly if they aren't even aware that they exist. Its one of the reasons why I push for getting the muggle-raised the summer classes. Dumbledore keeps telling me no so I arrange for at least my snakes to know what the hell they're getting into."

"You move him into your quarters yet?" Barty/Moody asked with interest. "Or are you waiting for the announcement of his new house?"

"He moved me already," Harry said grumpily. "And, yes, I did agree to all this bruhaha but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Where's the coffee?"

"You're far too young to be drinking coffee," Professor Sinestra said with a mild amount of shock.

"I've been drinking it for more than 50 years and I've already taken the aging potion so it shouldn't screw with too much," Harry said grouchily.

"No coffee, bad reaction with some of the potions you're going to have to take. I honestly shouldn't have let you take the aging potion but I couldn't stand the thought of you still looking 14 when you're more than ten times that age. I also doubted that I could stop you from taking it," Snape informed him. Harry grumbled a bit more but didn't argue, knowing he wouldn't win the coffee argument.

"So what the students said was true, he needs healing from the damage his relatives have caused," McGonagall said, fury sparking in her eyes before rounding on Dumbledore. "I told you they were the worst sort of muggles! I told you he should be raised in a magical family that would love him! You refused to have him looked at no matter how small and thin he was at the start of each year!"

"Wait, you knew?" Harry asked, his own temper flaring.

"I didn't have much of a choice that night with the way he sweet talked me and overrode my objections. _Albus_ also changed the protective wards to keep just about everyone with any magic away from you. He passed it off as letting you grow up normally and keeping the Death Eaters from going after you," McGonagall growled. In that instant of protective fury Harry forgave her for the mistakes she had made in dealing with him and his friends over the years.

"Can I keep the kitty? She's acting like I'm her kitten," Harry asked Snape, breaking up the tension and sending the rest of the hall into roaring laughter.

"No, you cannot. The... kitty, still has to prove that you are her kitten," Snape said with a smirk hiding his uncertainty but still enjoying the show. Both of them were enjoying messing with her and the furious blush that the Transfiguration Mistress sported was just a bonus.

There was a loud snap as a series of spells on every Head of House along with Madam Pomfrey collapsed. The backlash gave the five instant migraines and had their visitors once more wondering what the hell was going on.

"What the devil?!" Harry exclaimed, helping a groaning Snape to lay his head against the cool wood of the table.

"Left pocket, red vial, one to each of us," Severus practically whimpered as he fought not to pass out from the pain, the suddenly intolerable noise, and the blinding light.

Harry scrabbled at his robes and quickly administered the potion to each of the afflicted teachers. Dumbledore tried to sneak out the teacher's entrance but the castle wasn't having any of it. The door melted away to nothingness under the man's fingers. The five recovered moments after downing the potion and rounded on the man who had cast the spells in the first place.

"I am highly tempted to invoke the right of the Heads of House to remove an unsuitable Headmaster," Filius growled in absolute fury.

"What happened Professor?" Harry asked respectfully.

"Dangerous memory charms," McGonagall said in a furious brogue. Harry quickly put the pieces together and scowled at the old goat.

"Summon the Sorting Hat please?" Harry gritted out, trying to keep his temper under control. All of the staff knew it was his attempt to change the subject, and allow for the issue to be addressed later. A thin lipped Professor Sprout obliged, handing it over to Professor McGonagall since it was clear that Dumbledore would probably object.

"A student has found that they no longer fit the house they were originally sorted into as such it is my duty to sort him once more and hope that he will find a better fit," McGonagall announced formally. Everyone watched as the hat was promptly plopped onto Harry's head.

"Figured it out did you? Glad to see Lady Magic is still taking an interest in things from time to time. Though the time travel was still a bit of a shocking move on her part. She must have gotten agreement from a few others. I wonder if she blackmailed Death or Fate for the primary votes? Lets see.... You still fit all of the Houses but again you are more Slytherin than anything else. So... SLYTHERIN WITH A STAFF POSITION!" The Hat announced gleefully, allowing his commentary to be heard by all this time.

"You're going to make me run the DA again and explain why they're being idiots aren't you?" Harry asked the hat balefully. The mad cackle from the enchanted hat was all the answer he got. "Fine, insane hat, but I'm not calling it Dumbledore's Army this time. We'll stick with Defense Association like we should have the first time around."

"You're the one who used to be Headmaster of the school," the Hat shot back gleefully. "I'm just one of the poor guardians of the rubble heap!"

"Alister, if you don't bloody well shut up I'll try using Fiendfyre on you again!" Harry snapped at the mind reading hat. This made him cackle again before disappearing off of Harry's head and back to the Headmaster's office with a pop.

"Very good! Harry I shall need to see you in my office after breakfast. Now, shall we all return to our wonderful breakfast that the elves have so kindly made for us?" Dumbledore asked, beaming at everyone as if nothing had happened. Breakfast passed in a much more normal fashion after that with a low hum of excited whispers and conversation about everything that had happened in the last 48 hours.


	8. Sword Dance

Dumbledore had finished his breakfast quickly after the sorting and sped off to avoid the rest of the staff along with their visitors. Harry got up to go meet Dumbledore in his office only for the back of his new shirt to be snagged by a grumpy potions master.

"And where do you think you are going?" Severus asked ominously.

"The Headmaster's office?" Harry half asked half answered.

"Not without us," Pomona said fiercely, Filius and Minerva in full agreement. Snape just stared quellingly at the green-eyed brat. In under ten seconds Harry caved and returned to his seat until the other four were done eating.

They finished before anyone else and the five of them, plus a grumpy Barty/Moody, rose to leave as a united front, which Harry felt odd about but didn't question. Once they were out of the great hall and past the main stairs heading in the direction of a staff only secret passage the four teachers stopped, forcing Harry to stop as well. Snape was the one to cast the privacy charm before rounding on their newest colleague.

"What were you thinking trying to see him alone?!" Snape hissed furiously.

"I was thinking that I would be the only one at risk and that he couldn't afford to hurt me because of the damned tournament. One of the more obscure rules has the Headmaster punished if their champion can't compete due to something they or their staff did. I've still got my Auror reflexes and can stop just about anything short of an Unforgivable," Harry huffed back.

"Did you take into account the new body? Or the fact that this younger body probably doesn't have the reflexes you remember from being Auror or Headmaster?" Barty/Moody shot back, immediately deflating Harry's annoyance at their protectiveness.

"Er, oops?" Harry said sheepishly, blushing furiously in his embarrassment.

"As your new Head of House I will be revising your schedule," Snape informed him with narrowed eyes.

"Don't forget to put in time for researching how to fix the Dark Lord's sanity and putting him in a new body," Harry shot back seriously. The gaping shock that passed over the faces of the other three Heads of House was priceless.

"And why are you telling them?" Barty/Moody asked sharply, nearly to the point of giving up his charade of being Moody.

"Because they are powerful and would prefer to keep their students alive. Dumbledore doesn't care how many of us die simply to cover up the fact that he screwed up," Harry explained with a blink of surprise. He had honestly thought it was obvious. "As long as he's seen as the hero and receives both the privileges and the high from that he really doesn't care about the collateral damage. A lot of it revolves around the fact that the person wants to be seen as the hero and will go out of their way to set up a situation that only they can solve. Its an actual mental disorder that the muggle mind healers found out about. I don't know much more about it than that but it can lead to some really nasty situations. The reason this counts as a screw up for him is actually because of the prophecy that named me as the Dark Lord's down fall. Otherwise people would have called for Dumbledore to stop him like with Grindelwald. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if after Voldy's gone he claims I've gone Dark and uses me to be seen as the hero. Last time he died before I managed to beat Voldy."

"Its an actual illness of the mind?!" came the general shocked response.

"Yeah, it is. Its also one of the reasons why I'm going out of my way to stop some of the insanity he's trying to put everyone through. It cost so many lives last time its not even funny," Harry said with an obvious shiver.

"Why do you keep calling him Voldy?" Barty/Moody asked suspiciously.

"Dark Lord alone is generally used by dark supporters and Death Eaters. The ridiculous You-Know-Who and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named by cowering sheep. Tom is a name he despises for a reason and will attempt to crucio anyone who uses it. Voldy doesn't hurt anyone who hears it, doesn't make the mark burn or set off a taboo curse but its close to the original chosen name and less disrespectful than Moldyshorts," Harry answered with a smirk. "He's brilliant but that doesn't mean I approve of his... heavy handed methods. I'm hoping that those methods will change to something more reasonable once he's got his mind back."

"If it doesn't?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"Then... I'll be happy if he keeps his temper tantrums to only his marked Vassals because they essentially signed up for it. Its different if they didn't willingly take the mark but I can't tell the difference unless they bother to say something," Harry admitted with a grimace that told them all he wouldn't like it either way. It went unspoken that if he continued to be genocidal Harry would kill the man, brilliant or not. None of them could refute the logic and they quickly got moving again and quickly arrived at the Headmaster's office.

"I didn't ask for anyone but Mr. Potter," Dumbledore pointed out mildly as they all trooped in. The scathing glares he got told him he'd never have a chance to talk to Harry alone if they had anything to say about it. "Are you certain you want so many people present for our discussion my boy?"

"I'm not your boy," Harry spat, immediately infuriated both by the implications of the term and the nearly forgotten memories.

"Very well then, perhaps you'd like to clarify the story you and Alastor fed me after the goblet released your name?" Dumbledore asked in a hard voice.

"What? Don't like the mixed messages and someone else keeping important secrets from you? Funny, I didn't like it either," Harry shot back.

Dumbledore doesn't say anything, opting to wait out what he sees as Harry's temper tantrum. Harry recognized the tactic and huffed in dark amusement, settling back into his seat as he waited in turn. The five Professors opt to watch the silent tennis match as they mentally tallied the score. Dumbledore was the first one to break.

"Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore offered, trying far to hard for his grandfather facade to work.

"No, thank you. I don't fancy having to fight the truth serum and calming draught you tend to lace them with," Harry shot back just short of vicious.

"The Hat assigned you as a staff member as well as a Slytherin. I'm afraid that necessitates you sharing quarters with Severus," Dumbledore informed him. "Now, I am aware of your mutual animosity as such, once you have proven your maturity, I think we can arrange separate quarters for you possibly near Gryffindor Tower."

"No, thanks. Already moved in with the snarky git last night. He said something about monitoring the potions I need," Harry smirked, countering the carrot-stick move deftly.

"Professor Snape will also be teaching you Occlumency. As you clearly need the skill quickly he will be teaching you in a more aggressive fashion than normal," Dumbledore went on blithely as if Harry hadn't spoken.

"We've already found out the hard way that my mind can't be closed to Voldemort because of the curse scar and its properties. Proper mental training might prevent possession but it won't keep him out the way you're implying," Harry pointed out.

"Never the less you will be having Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape," Dumbledore insisted sternly. "You will also be taking your OWLs this year with the rest of the fifth years, so I suggest you study hard."

There was a mutter of outrage from this blatant attempt to manipulate someone they thought to be only a fourth year into submission through an impossible work load. Harry didn't bat an eye and neither did Snape nor Barty/Moody. Both had planned to run him through as many classes as possible to see what he remembered and what he needed work on in any case, this simply formalized it.

"You want this on top of the Defense Club and community improvement lectures Alister has already demanded on behalf of the school?" Harry asked archly.

"I'm certain that the Defense Club and the whatever lectures can wait until next year," Dumbledore said determinedly. "Unless of course you manage to also take your NEWTs and thus qualify as a full staff member."

Harry's harsh bark of laughter cut off the indignant muttering before it really got started.

"I'll make you a deal. If I can pass both my OWLs and my NEWTs before the Third Task you will not only step down as Headmaster in either my favor or in Snape's favor but you will owe me a large favor. If I fail then we'll discuss the return of my Wizengamot Proxy to your care. Sound reasonable?" Harry suggested slyly.

"I am your guardian. I control your proxy. Why would I need to have it returned and how do you know about it?" Dumbledore asked with an irritated frown.

"Do we have a deal or do I walk out and kneel to ol' Tommy boy and accept his lovely tattoo?" Harry drawled.

"That is hardly something to be jesting over Harry," Dumbledore said tightly.

"Who's joking? I'm not," Harry answered simply. "You've screwed up one to many times and if you can't work with me... well I'm pretty sure I can return Voldy's sanity if I'm careful about it. If not I can always kill him before taking you out."

"I see... It seems I have made a grave mistake," Dumbledore said, not elaborating on his mistake.

"Do we have a deal?" Harry asked softly, dangerously.

"We do provided you remain in Severus' quarters and perform adequately in regards to your Occlumency lessons," Dumbledore said with steel in his voice.

"Done," Harry said with satisfaction as magic flared to seal the deal, filing the legal paperwork with the ministry simultaneously.

"Excuse me Headmaster, I have a brat to discipline," Severus said curtly as he bodily dragged Harry out of the room, the other teachers following on their heels.

"You little idiot!" came the snap of Snape's voice the moment the gargoyle returned to its place when they were out in the hall.

"He's still confused and I only said I'd talk to him about my proxies. Never said anything about actually giving them to him. I win the bet and he can't say a damn thing about my qualifications. I only need some revision before being able to pass any way. I've used most of the standard spells and theory regularly in and out of battle," Harry huffed.

"He will also expect me to ensure your loyalty to the light by any means necessary!" Severus shot back in pure frustration. "I have enough trouble dancing between him and the Dark Lord without compromising either position, myself, or putting any students at risk. You have just put yourself in a third position."

"No, I haven't," Harry said softly, his eyes going from firey to soft as he reached out to brush his hand against the other wizard's cheek. Severus connected the dots and the look of stunned realization made Harry snicker fondly.

"So, this is what Lovegood meant," Severus muttered with pursed lips. He ignored the quizzical looks from everyone and the dawning comprehension of Barty/Moody.

The burning sensation from both marks present dragged a hiss from the two marked wizards, breaking the odd air of anticipation. In an instant wands were aimed at Barty/Moody. Harry's sharp "No!" was the only thing that kept him from getting hexed.

"He's not here to hurt any students. He was only placed to make sure I entered the tournament and made it to the third task so that I could be part of the ritual to give Voldy a new body. Since I'm already fixing that and he actually did a good job teaching last time we don't need to worry about it. The real Moody is in his trunk and aside from missing bits of hair just fine. Its not an issue," Harry told them in a commanding tone of voice.

"Mr. Potter this is indeed an issue," Filius Flitwick said stubbornly.

"Oh for heaven's sake! I'm already going to be arguing with Alastor about this and probably Voldemort as well. I don't need to be arguing with you too," Harry shot back in exasperation. "I swear on my magic that at this time his only orders to my knowledge regard playing Moody and ensuring my win of the tournament. I also swear that if he harms a student without cause or on the orders of Voldemort aka Tom Riddle I will deal with him and ensure he does not present a further danger to the school and its students."

A flash of light sealed the vow and a silent Lumos proved that he was telling the truth.

"That was reckless," Snape snarled at him even as his right hand gripped his left forearm.

"I want you both back here in one piece, you can't do that if the other teachers hex you before you even get out of the castle," Harry shot back with a scowl. "Go and if either of you need permission to discuss anything with that idiot you have mine. I'm trying to put him back together before being forced to decide if I have to kill him or not. I really don't want to kill him."

"Appreciated," Barty/Moody grumbled as both wizards took off heading for the edge of the castle grounds.

"Do you have any idea what you've just done? Or asked us to do?" McGonagall asked harshly. Her furious eyes meet those of an experienced warrior.

"Yes, Minerva, I do," Harry said heavily, for once allowing the weight of all his years to filter through his voice and magic.


	9. Meeting of the Minds

Barty/Moody and Severus apparated blind using the Dark Marks as a guide to their destination. It was a familiar yet terrifying ritual that every Death Eater performed when called. The fact that both knew their master likely wouldn't be pleased with the news they brought did not lessen the need for haste to his side. Neither were all that surprised to arrive at Malfoy Manor for this particular meeting. They quickly made their way through the grounds to a special grove set up specifically for meeting such as this. Upon arriving they both quickly knelt in the grass, angled towards the low floating throne that contained the infant-like golem their lord was currently inhabiting.

"Lucius had some interesting things to share with me about your meeting. What do you have to report to me?" Voldemort said in a deceptively mild tone of voice after accepting the customary greeting.

"My lord, I have several memories to show you. I don't know if Snape has anything to add," Barty/Moody said deferentially, almost reverently. He had seen this man as a father since shortly after joining the ranks.

"As I do not know what Barty planned to show you I can not answer that as yet," Severus demurred, hoping he was being deferential enough not to get crucioed.

"Give me one good reason not to kill you my dear Severus," Voldemort hissed in barely contained fury.

"Snape is MINE! I'll use every damn advantage being your bloody soul container has to keep him safe!" Harry's voice roared through the bond into his mind, the magic strong enough to send his skull a-ringing like a bloody church bell.

"Brat! If you are not here within the next twenty minutes..." Voldemort trailed off with an evil chuckle saying nothing but implying everything. The migraine that Harry was causing abruptly lessened as the green-eyed menace withdrew from his mind. "Wait...soul?! ... So that's what he meant."

Less than a minute later Harry apparated into the grove, landing protectively in front of the still kneeling potions master. Harry's growl was one of frustration and barely contained fury. Voldemort laughed in joy that made Harry's scar _throb_.

"So you wish to claim my most accomplished spy and Potions Master..." Voldemort said evilly.

"Have you guys shared anything with him yet?" Harry asked, frustration rising as his fury managed to abate to irritation. The muttered negatives didn't really surprise the time traveler. "If you listen to their reports first I promise to stay put and discuss it afterwards but you don't get to crucio them or make unreasonable demands."

"~Nagini, dear heart, go snuggle with the defiant one. We will have to teach him that carrying a piece of my soul is not protection from learning his place or being punished,~" Voldemort hissed, amused as Nagini took Harry down, wrapping him in her coils and cuddling him like a living teddy bear.

"~Thank you my Tom!~" Nagini hissed back gleefully.

"~Let go!~" Harry hissed in irritation at both himself and the oversized serpent.

"~A hatchling speaker! ... No, you are no longer a hatchling. We will wait until my Tom is done playing with his toys than we will discuss your mating,~" Nagini cackled. Harry just dropped his head to land against her coils with a thud.

"Fuck!" Harry cursed. "I'd honestly forgotten about her and now she's either trying to mother me or keep me."

"Now, now, my little lion. We mustn't curse. Barty, share your memories with me _Legillimens!_ " Voldemort said gleefully, following the spell into the mind of his most faithful.

> _**Memory** _
> 
> _"...I think I've pulled a Doctor Who," Harry said in a slightly raised voice that carried half way across the hall. He made no effort to get up and interrupt Snape's incredulous examination._
> 
> _"October 31st, 1994," Hermione responded, her voice trembling in shock as she recognized the reference. "Your name just came out of the goblet and it looked like you were having a seizure."_
> 
> _"So the moment I was declared an adult and my body is 14 again.... great. Moody, fuck you for putting my name in the damn goblet and find a different ritual. The one you and your... friend have planed for after the third task robs the great idiot of his sanity. If you need something from me I'll help you get him back to normal so no _blood of the enemy forcibly taken_ crap. Next time you talk to him tell him that my scar is the same as Nagini, the stupid locket, the ring, and the tiara. He'll know what I mean. Oh, and I'm claiming Snape since my mother transferred his boon or whatever it is to me that night," Harry instructed wearily. "I'm gonna pass out now. Hermione, get the twins and Luna Lovegood... Ron's gonna be a git about all of this."_
> 
> _**Memory Ends**_  
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
>  _**Memory**_
> 
> _"My lord is going to ask what the catch is," Barty pointed out seriously._
> 
> _"He's going to want me alive until we get a chance to work some things out. By publicly claiming Snape they can't toss him in Azkaban without a damn good reason. I won't force him to do anything but I can shield him from certain political machinations until he can decide what he want's to do. His oaths about me and your master aren't in as much conflict as he believes and I'm going to need a chance to remember the details before I can explain it all. As for the catch... I want to save as many lives as possible and renew our traditions but to make that work he has to be sane and we probably have to take out Dumbledore. As far as the old man is concerned I'm a disposable weapon, especially if it will get your master out of the way," Harry answered seriously. "My best position right now is among the students and most of them need better defense training. I'm considering starting up a defense club or something like what we'll need again next year if Umbridge is the defense teacher.... vicious bitch that she is. Dumbledore.... throwing him off and making it look like I'm still his golden puppet might be a bit on the tricky side with my personality change due to maturity. Think we can blame that on an experimental prank gone bad?"_
> 
> _**Memory Ends** _  
> 

He didn't wait for Snape to come forwards as he switched targets and _shoved_ his way through the Potion Master's shields. Using the abrupt switch as a catalyst he avoided becomig entangled in the elaborate defenses and reduced the risk in harming Severus.

>   
>  _**Memory** _
> 
> _"Professor, I've already explained to Barty that he's mine. Harry is going to give you a choice and he will do his absolute best to see that you survive what's coming. The problem is that he won't expect what you need to give him. If you choose Harry you have to chose all of him, his service, his bed, his heart. If you're very lucky you can snag the Dark Lord as a third. It won't work if the two of you don't choose Harry. As his friends and siblings we can somewhat keep him grounded but if someone who actually cares about him isn't willing to be his life partner there's a good chance he'll go insane or fade away into nothing," Luna informed them bluntly. "Harry doesn't believe that he's worth loving. Ginny loved his fame in the other timeline, not him. He's convinced himself that while his children loved him it wasn't something he would have been given if he weren't their father. You and the Dark Lord have had similar childhoods to Harry, it will be up to the two of you to decide how you anchor him or if you will force him to destroy himself even as he destroys the two of you in self defense."_
> 
> _"And if I choose something else?" Severus asked cautiously._
> 
> _"Then Harry may still choose you but his possessiveness will combine with the life debt you owe him which will push to be fulfilled. He will claim you in any way he can if you try to walk away. If you side with Dumbledore... he will try to convince you otherwise and when that fails will keep you out of harms way, forever trapped or completely destroyed which will in turn kill him. If you side with the Dark Lord he will respect the claim of Lord and Vassal, allowing you to walk away but trying to stay close in any way the two of you will allow. If you choose him, he will eventually claim you as his lover. Should you become lovers it would be up to you to suggest marriage because he would fear chasing you away by suggesting that you be tied down to him when you could have better," Luna elaborated. "You could get away from all of this if you chose but there would be a cost and Harry would forever search for you, it would kill him within five years after you left."_
> 
> _"Why?" Snape asked with a suddenly dry voice._
> 
> _"Magic," Luna said simply. "Some magic doesn't need an incantation or ritual or even conscious intent, it just happens. It also tends to be some of the strongest and nearly impossible to break. This magic started with your friendship with Lily, grew with her sacrifice, and grew even further as you continued to protect him. Harry sees it as something he must repay even if it should cost him his life. Even after all this time he doesn't fully appreciate how much his own life is worth."_
> 
> _"I... will try," Severus agreed hesitantly. Luna beamed at him just as the privacy spell shattered under a shriek of outrage._
> 
> _**Memory Ends**_  
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
>  _**Memory**_
> 
> _"There are also a few other Heirships and many vaults that are yours as bequests but the magic can not check you for worthiness until you have claimed the Potter Lordship," Griphook explained. "Albus Dumbledore has been acting as both your Magical Guardian and has been holding the Proxy on your votes. Do you wish to change that?"_
> 
> _"Yes, should the Ministry or Dumbledore have me once more declared a minor Tom Marvolo Riddle or Severus Snape is to take custody. Anyone else is to be qualified as kidnappers. I would prefer to have them charged under Goblin law rather than Wizarding law, especially since you found the evidence to support my earlier commentary about theft in the papers you processed. To avoid further attempts at theft only my spouse or those of my blood may access my accounts without my physical presence accompanying them. Dumbledore and those of his pet Order, barring Severus Snape, are forbidden to hold my proxy votes or my guardianship. I may include further exceptions at a later time but I must physically present myself to Gringotts with a full identity check to make the change," Harry instructed, handing over a notated list of the transactions he knew had occurred with his authorization and the few that had retroactive authorization._
> 
> _**Memory Ends**_  
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
>  _**Memory**_
> 
> _"Do we have a deal or do I walk out and kneel to ol' Tommy boy and accept his lovely tattoo?" Harry drawled._
> 
> _"That is hardly something to be jesting over Harry," Dumbledore said tightly._
> 
> _"Who's joking? I'm not," Harry answered simply. "You've screwed up one to many times and if you can't work with me... well I'm pretty sure I can return Voldy's sanity if I'm careful about it. If not I can always kill him before taking you out."_
> 
> _"I see... It seems I have made a grave mistake," Dumbledore said, not elaborating on his mistake._
> 
> _**Memory Ends**_  
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
>  _**Memory**_
> 
> _"I want you both back here in one piece, you can't do that if the other teachers hex you before you even get out of the castle," Harry shot back with a scowl. "Go and if either of you need permission to discuss anything with that idiot you have mine. I'm trying to put him back together before being forced to decide if I have to kill him or not. I really don't want to kill him."_
> 
> _**Memory Ends** _  
> 

"So, you would rather heal me than kill me. Do you even know why I sought to kill you?" Voldemort asked thoughtfully, tiredly sitting back in his chair as the two Death Eaters attempted to recover from the mental assault.

"You catch the time travel bit?" Harry asked resignedly.

"Yes, that doesn't answer my question," Voldemort insisted.

"Frankly? You lost. Dumbledore's convoluted plan of idiocy worked and a lot of people died that didn't need to. I was sitting down for breakfast just after my 165th birthday when I suddenly found myself back in this time. I figured why the fuck not? I'll see if I can actually get it right this time. Now his plan worked and it didn't turn out too poorly but a lot of things could have been done better. I had to watch so many be punished for practicing family magics that I gave up on the Auror Corps after only a decade. Got my Defense Mastery certified before taking on the DADA post at Hogwarts, found out that I was immune to your curse on the post by accident, and eventually became Headmaster. Had some great kids... their mom kept trying to drag me into the lime light. Honestly? Not much happened after you got dead," Harry told him flatly. "And yes I know about the prophecy shite. I also took up my Lordships and worked in the Wizengamot. Cleaning up the mess that you and Dumbledore left behind was an absolute nightmare."

"You promised to kneel to me," Voldemort hissed, reveling in the pleasure of having his enemy at his feet.

"Will you let me try to heal the damage you've done to yourself with so many rituals?" Harry shot back, wriggling a little bit in his serpent cocoon.

"Provided you acknowledge my claim. I am intrigued by the suggestion your youngest sister made that you are fixated on Severus but would accept my affections," Voldemort commented almost idly.

Harry froze, processing this new information.

"Well fuck. Luna's always had my number," Harry admitted wryly both to them and himself.

"We shall see how things progress once I am returned to a proper body," Voldemort instructed with a hissy chuckle. "As your sister indicated both I and Severus will serve as your anchors. Since you are already entered into the tournament I can not detain you and still get what I want. Your scar already marks you as mine. I expect your attendence when I call for Severus or Barty. If I wish to speak to you alone... you will know. Feel free to inform either of them so they can cover for your absence. If your new family chooses Dumbledore they will not be exempt from my wrath."

"Yeah, kinda figured that. They already know I want to try putting you back together and so far none of them have gone telling tales. I also figured you'd leave everyone alone until you had your body back, which is one reason why I risked the oath to deal with McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout," Harry admitted.

"You are a much greater prize than the rest of the school, especially with the information concerning your... special status. I allow you to return because it would cause you more harm to keep you. Severus, ensure that his eye sight is fixed. I will not have someone weak protecting something so precious. Potter, if you manage to get yourself killed I will ensure that your new family and the majority of the current Hogwarts students joins you," Voldemort informed them menacingly.

"Good incentive to stay alive then, eh?" Harry said glumly. He hadn't really been expecting anything else once the Horcrux in his scar had been confirmed but he was still... disappointed. Hopefully piecing the bastard's soul back together would change that.

"Congratulations, you just became Nagini's cuddle toy for the next hour," Voldemort said sweetly, earning a squawk of protest from Harry and a thank you from Nagini. "Barty you will ensure that Potter comes to no harm during the school year nor is he to be left alone with the old man. I am allowing him to work through the tournament on his own. He may ask for aid from either of you should he choose. Severus? Walking away counts as treason in this. Should you choose Dumbledore I'll simply help Potter convince you of your mistake."

"Yes, my lord," the two of them intoned, Severus shivering at the warning. They proceeded to watch Harry play at being a cuddle toy for the next hour until he was sweaty and exhausted from his wrestling with the overgrown rat catcher. The duo had to carry him back to the castle once they were released from the unexpectedly sane audience.

"He's pretty out of it," Barty/Moody observed with a chuckle.

"Yes, and I think I know just the thing. I might as well start making in-roads into his affections. He'll share my bed, clothed of course, until we mutually decide to take it further," Severus said with a smirk. He was relishing the thought of the look on Harry's face when he woke in the arms of the Dungeon Bat.

"Evil but harmless," Barty/Moody agreed still chuckling when they parted ways. It was a Saturday and he had plans to stalk a few Gryffindors and Slytherins before teaching them a lesson in situational awareness. The pranks would be a good distraction from all of the important things happening for the students.

"I'll take my cuddle toy and get some extra rest in then. See you at Supper?" Severus asked. Barty/Moody hummed his agreement and they parted ways.


	10. Loyalties of the Heart

Harry woke slowly to warmth, softness, and a very solid pillow beneath his head. He had belatedly noticed that he wasn't in his room at home or Gryffindor tower and tried to keep still. It wasn't unheard of for some idiot to try kidnapping him either as a token of admiration or a token of enmity. As a result he was half way through trying to plot his escape when he felt the chuckle of the chest beneath him. Harry had involuntarily tensed when he woke and realized he wasn't anywhere familiar, waking Severus in the process.

"You are far too cute for your own good," Severus informed him with a chuckle, expecting the muttered curse about not being _cute_.

"Lemme go," Harry grumped, struggling half heartedly to escape the other man's grip.

"Oh, no you don't. Even if we had not spoken to the Dark Lord yesterday you would be resting. I should have realized how much of a strain this has all been on you and on your magic. Completely aside from the potions you need to take," Severus growled back, pinning the smaller wizard underneath him so that he couldn't escape.

Harry bit back a whimper, only his children had ever pinned him down like this to make sure he was alright. At the time he could only sense their care for him even as Ginny tended to pull them off him so that she could scold him, loudly. This felt entirely different, laced with determination and possibly lust? He mentally scolded himself for the sudden thought that he could pin the other man and have his way with him. Yes, Snape had been more cordial but that didn't mean the man had an interest in him aside from some brat to keep alive. Voldemort's comments about Luna talking to the gorgeous man on top of him explained his unexpected possessiveness but he refused to let anyone hurt the brave man... even himself. If Voldemort chose to enforce his right as Snape's lord to forbid their contact Harry would comply and do his damnedest to keep the man safe from afar.

"Okay," Harry said meekly, finally returning to the real world. Snape... _Severus_ gave him a suspicious look, pressing him further into the mattress underneath them.

"If this is some sort of attempt to escape the moment my back is turned..." Severus warned.

Harry shook his head no, deciding not to aggravate the Potions Master more than necessary at the moment. In the back of his head he felt a tentative something that wasn't him. Frowning he tried to identify what it was only for his scar to warm up and new knowledge to flood into his mind. Suddenly, Harry was transported from Snape's bedroom and bed into a well appointed study, all dark woods and green fabrics.

"Good. This will make communication much easier," said the voice of Tom Riddle, slightly deeper than that of his diary self. A twenty something version of the man with blazing red eyes emerged from behind a bookshelf that proved to be a hidden door.

"Aw hell, you're not going to be trying to possess me again are you?" Harry cursed. Riddle... Voldemort simply raised an amused eyebrow at his captive/guest and took a seat behind a heavy desk with a dark green blotter and a scattering of normal office supplies.

"I hadn't planned on it but that could change... Where are you in the castle now? I presume you are utilizing your time wisely?" Voldemort asked, smirking a bit at some lewd ideas that had just occurred to him. Taking a proper look at the twentyish mental representation of his human horcrux he found that he wasn't adverse to the idea of taking the menace and his spy as lovers. In fact he found the idea greatly appealing and decided to send Luna a thank you gift of some sort.

"Actually, everything since my arrival has sort of worn me out. I had just woken up from a nap that I wasn't given a choice in taking. I've moved into Snape's quarters and Dumbledore plans for both that matched with a nasty version of Occlumency lessons to bring me to heel. Snape... has decided I don't need my own bed," Harry admitted with a fierce blush of embarrassment. "I also made a magically confirmed bet with the mad old fool. If I manage to pass my OWLs and NEWTs before the end of the year he has to step down as Headmaster in favor of Snape or myself. If I don't then I talk with him about returning my Wizengamot proxies to him. I didn't promise I'd do more than talk and I've already made legal arrangements to keep them out of his hands. At the moment I'm both a student and a staff member. I plan to answer questions and set up a Defense club because while Barty is a great Defense teacher most of them have been piss poor at their jobs. When ever you took over the class from Quirrell we actually tended to learn something but he wasn't all that good on his own. Remus was good but focused a lot on creatures. Snape was good in the other timeline if a bit demanding."

"You are a defense prodigy," Voldemort said thoughtfully. "Very well but ensure that _all_ houses are included in your defense classes. I presume that the Slytherins were ignored in your previous timeline. I don't want them vulnerable to the depredations of the other houses as has been the case in the past. I would prefer for you to receive your OWLs and NEWTs. However, as long as the old goat does not actually gain your seats and you can prove to me you know the material I will not interfere with your... bet. Should you displease me Nagini already misses her cuddle toy."

Harry visibly shuddered at that. He didn't normally mind the cuddling and would eventually manage not to feel trapped in Nagini's gentle coils. The problem came with how many nightmares she and the Basilisk had featured in over the years. It was still better than being crucioed and while embarrassing not particularly harmful.

"If you crucio someone make sure your temper is under control or your shields are at least intact. I did _not_ have fun getting second hand crucioed every time you went after someone who had screwed up. There's other transference along this bond but most of its bearable as long as you keep your temper," Harry informed him shortly. "It doesn't seem to transfer a lesser version of the spell if you aren't either aiming at a living being or using crucio. I learned later that the mechanics of the spell make it particularly easy for it to pass along a bond like this."

"I will attempt to keep that in mind," Voldemort agreed, eyes narrowed in thought. "I don't suppose I experimented with sending you pleasure?"

"No, it would have been too helpful on my end. You were already mostly insane by the time you'd figured out that we shared a mental bond," Harry elaborated. He was suddenly suspicious and somewhat dreading the likely practical application of the question.

"You know what you are," Voldemort stated. Harry nodded his agreement but didn't say anything. "I presume you know where the others are? I would like you to retrieve any that are outside their original protections or at Hogwarts and return them to me."

"The diary's dead through Dumbledore's machinations but I can deliver what's left of it. The necklace is at 12 Grimmauld Place which is currently in lock down. Either Sirius has to open the building back up or he has to die so that I can do it. I already plan to have him and Bellatrix committed to St. Mungoes on the grounds that they've had too much exposure to the Dementors. I don't know if Bellatrix is salvageable but I'm pretty sure Sirius isn't. The diadem, ring, and cup are right where you left them but you might want to move at least the ring. The hiding place is too obvious and Dumbledore found it last time," Harry mused, mentally plotting what to do about the Horcruxes. "I think you should consider reabsorbing some of the earlier ones any way. You wouldn't have deteriorated so fast from the unwilling Unicorn blood if you had more of your soul. _Please_ , don't use anything involving unwilling Unicorn blood. Watching you spiral into unmitigated madness was... painful."

"If I agree to reabsorb my earliest Horcruxes... you will kneel to me at the next meeting and publicly declare your loyalty. From that point forwards I will be your first priority. As I suspect you are unaware of your sister's full opinion on the matter I will elaborate. When she spoke to Severus she explained that you need proper grounding and that the grounding of your siblings may not be enough. If you haven't already experienced possessiveness with Severus you will. If I join the relationship there will be less chance of Severus fighting the inevitable bonding and the three of us will stabilize each other. I am willing to assist but I can not be worried over your loyalty," Voldemort told him pointedly.

Harry sighed heavily and sank to his knees in the middle of the mindscape. Eyes closed and head bowed he declared simply, "You have it."

"How poorly did that old fool treat you that you are this willing to kneel to me?" Voldemort murmured. Moving across the room swiftly only to come to a halt in front his still kneeling horcrux. A hand ran its self through the messy black hair gaining a small gasp of surprise as green eyes flew wide in shock.

"I take very good care of my possessions," Voldemort purred seductively, tugging lightly on Harry's hair and pulling a whimper of want out of him. Taking a step back his demeanor returned to something closer to professional. "You may form a romantic relationship with Severus but should you do so I will eventually expect you both in my bed. You are not to pursue anyone else. I expect you to somewhat play the golden boy. Dumbledore's suspicions are aroused which can not be helped. If he insists on attempting to pair you with one of his loyal aside from Severus you will explain that I have agreed to leave the school alone for such a price. Make it out that I wish to have you isolated aside from Severus. You are free to inform them that I contacted you directly and work from there."

"I understand, just please reabsorb the horcruxes quickly?" Harry pleaded. Voldemort gave a sharp nod as the mindscape dissolved around them and they returned to their own bodies.

"Harry!" Severus practically screamed in his ear.

"Urg, don't shout," Harry mumbled, his head aching from the impromptu mental meeting.

"Don't scare me like that," Severus shot back, relief and concern permeating his voice.

"Don't blame me, blame Voldy. He opted to experiment and we talked in a mental office. He's more sane than I thought, having some sort of body and the lack of unicorn blood seems to have helped him. I got him to promise to try and repair some of the damage soonish and he gave me orders," Harry informed him, making a face at the thought of orders. "I'm not allowed to date anyone except you and if we do get into a relationship he made it clear that he will expect both of us in his bed after he's got a body. I get to play golden boy and if Dumbledore tries to match-make me with one of his pawns I'm supposed to tell him that I bought the safety of Hogwarts by agreeing not to date anyone but you. We're supposed to play it as wanting to isolate me but I think using the supposed hatred angle wouldn't be bad, you know him messing with us cuz its funny? I'm supposed to collect a few things for him and kneel to him at the next meeting."

Severus let out a shuddering breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. Scooping the troublesome brat into his arms and ignoring his struggles to get free they simply sat there, drawing comfort from one another.

"Time for supper," Harry said quietly. Severus nodded and before freeing his brat, kissed him full on the mouth before hastily retreating, a blush staining his cheeks crimson. It took a moment for the actions to sink in but once it had Harry flushed scarlet before following him towards the great hall.


	11. Misconceptions and Rewritten History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giant chapter for you lot!  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Time passed as the first task rapidly approached. Harry repeatedly found himself wrapped in the arms of the stubborn Potions Master after his first mental talk with Voldemort. He also found himself repeatedly drawn into visions and dreams in which both dark wizards featured prominently. Sometimes Voldemort even joined him in these, delighting in pinning him down and teasing him to the point of madness. Through all this Harry could tell that not only were his suitors growing fond of him, he was returning their regard. As a result the admonition to avoid romantic entanglements with anyone else was easy to follow. It was harder to slip back into being the Golden boy as Dumbledore watched suspiciously.

Harry had decided upon a certain amount of transparency since he'd already rocked the boat. This led to him acting mostly like himself but sticking to his siblings a great deal, answering questions about the other timeline and training the defense club each Saturday. The club was open to all houses and all schools with a promise to not condemn any spell that someone wished to discuss but no promise of learning to actually cast the darker ones.

Harry's refusal to hide or change resulted in at least one meeting with the school Heads and tournament representatives where he pointed out that they would have to change the tasks. After all allowing him to keep his unfair advantage of knowing everything ahead of time pretty much eliminated any chance the others would have. They grumbled until he recited each task and exactly how they had each handled the task. The deafening silence was telling.

"Look, I think the whole tournament is stupid and shouldn't have been brought back. That doesn't mean I think they shouldn't have a chance to win if they really want to. I have to compete despite my unwilling entry and don't really care about winning. If I could bow out I might just do that but I can't. My newer memories give me the experience level of a seasoned Auror even if I have to retrain the reflexes back to a decent standard. The tasks were handled badly and only the dragon one gave anyone something to watch. Change it or don't, I'll teach anyone who wants to learn what I know from any of the schools," Harry informed them before leaving in a huff. The next day the champions had a new clue.

 _Siren song of beauty on land and in the air, past which you will travel to treat with ancient kings of wing, claw, and scale_  
_Bargain, steal, or woo an egg of golden delight from these tempermental mistresses then escape in flight_  
_Cross the waters of dangers untold to kneel before the thrones of knowledge and present your bounty_

Harry took one look at it and blinked as his mind ran through the possibilities. Siren song could be literal or figurative but the comment about beauty and land/air made it likely to be Veela, not really an issue with his preferences. The ancient kings was probably the dragons. The egg thing was probably a hold over from the first idea for the task. Crossing the waters likely had something to do with the lake and thrones of knowledge probably meant the school Heads.

"At least they changed it," Harry grumbled before returning to his normal school work and the revision packets that each teacher had kindly put together for him.

Dumbledore didn't know it but he planned to take his OWLs over the winter break and his NEWTs over the Easter Holiday. One of the teachers, McGonagall probably, let slip to someone at the ministry the bet. The discovery brought a wave of support for Harry slowed only by the scandalized reaction of Dumbledore's die hard supporters.

The same day he got rid of his glasses for good a warning came from Undersecretary Umbridge of potential prosecution should Harry perform magic outside the grounds of Hogwarts. Harry sent back a scathing reply reminding her that her precious Minister had declared him an adult via the tournament and informing her that he had taken up his lordships. He requested in coldly polite words that she either provide proof of her status as the heir to Merlin or keep out of the business of her betters on pain of charges laid against her in an attempt to subvert a Lord in good standing. Adding salt to the wound he sealed the letter with each of his lordship and heir rings.

Severus had come upon him as he wrote the letter and asked what was upsetting him. Harry had explained who he was writing to, why, and her despicable actions in the other timeline. Severus in turn enchanted the letter to duplicate its self and repeatedly scream its contents, including seals, at her for the entire day when the magic would end. The charm was something he had developed to use against parents who wouldn't listen to anything but praises for their child. He didn't often use it to sing the praises of any students but it had happened from time to time, usually with a cut off command and modulated volume.

The same night the letter went out they were both pulled into a shared mindscape with Voldemort.

"Ah, good," Voldemort said in an obviously pleased voice. Severus looked around the study with confusion and Harry rolled his eyes at the stubborn Dark Lord before opting to watch the Potions Master with interest.

"How?" Severus asked softly, realizing where he was.

"An obscure spell that was labeled dark some time in the 1700s. The common uses were to torment enemies or calm the nightmares of children by allowing the parents to intervene in the dream," Voldemort said dismissively, inordinately pleased with himself.

"Why are we here? For that matter why have you been sending me those... those!" Harry said with a furious blush as he looked towards the marble fireplace in one wall. "You made it clear that you think I belong to you but was the rest of it really necessary?"

Voldemort studied him for a moment before striding over and pulling him into a comforting embrace. Harry made a sound of protest but didn't actually fight.

"Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, do you honestly think I would ignore you? You are far more than a possession," Voldemort informed him with an evil chuckle. "If you like I can treat you like a favored pet instead of a strong wizard whom I happen to be courting?"

"You've... been courting me?!" Harry squeaked.

"We've both been courting you idiot boy," Severus snarked fondly, joining them near the fireplace. A couch appeared out of nothing allowing them to settle in a cozy embrace and simply enjoy being near one another.

"Who did you date and who did you finally marry in the other timeline?" Voldemort asked idly almost an hour later.

"Not telling, you'll kill them," Harry muttered sleepily.

"Where does Petunia live now? Is she still living in Cokesworth?" Severus asked with a deceptively mild tone. He hadn't tried getting anything out of Harry yet about his summer home life, dreading what he would find. There was also the fact that the magic around the Dursley household was still going strong and he'd hit a dead end with his previous attempts.

"I don't want to hear the screaming when you show up much less when I tell them that you're my boyfriend," Harry muttered with a tired yawn.

"I promise I won't let them scream at me," Severus said sincerely.

"Nuh-uh, not telling... won't let them 'urt you..." Harry said finally trailing off into sleep inside the mindscape.

"They hurt him?" Voldemort asked harshly, his voice low in an attempt to let Harry sleep. One could sleep in the mindscape and have it be nearly as refreshing as regular sleep but only if they remained calm. Sleeping in the mindscape also tended to prevent normal dreaming.

"Yes, and I would dearly like to repay the _kindness_ ," Severus bit out. He spoke softly so that they wouldn't wake Harry. "The Senior Undersecretary, Delores Umbridge also hurt him in the other time line. My lord she forced him and most of the student body to use _blood quills_!"

"When?" Voldemort asked tightly.

"Next year," Severus said bitterly. "I have no idea what kept me from acting against her unless it was somehow kept from me... or the Ministry took Hogwarts."

The dead silence that followed his words had realization slamming into both wizards. A silent snarl crossed Voldemort's features as he fought to control his temper and allow Harry the rest he needed.

"You remember the nightmare you reported Harry having the same day as the weighing of the wands?" Voldemort asked, changing the subject in an attempt to maintain control.

"Yes, you were quite concerned at how much pain he was in," Severus agreed, puzzled but allowing the topic change.

"I fulfilled my end of the bargain and found I was able to reabsorb more pieces than what I had to hand. I still want the artifacts back but I no longer need to keep any aside from Harry, Nagini, and the Diadem safe. Harry was right, it helped tremendously and I plan to present the ring to him as a courting gift during the same meeting that he publicly pledges to me. I don't believe he knows since I realized he's been humoring me during our meetings instead of arguing the way I know he wants to," Voldemort said in a slightly bitter tone of voice. "I realize that he had Barty return the diadem to me but I don't want a meek puppet. I can make those if I feel a need for them."

"The way he's been hounded by Dumbledore and the press has not helped nor has his immersion into studying for his OWLs and NEWTs. A few of my courting gifts actually were time hiding in our quarters or my lab as an excuse to be away from everyone. Ironically, it is those who have seen the Doctor Who television show that most seem to understand his unusual position. Apparently, it is something of a theme for the show but its more of a just visiting thing rather than one trip and stuck for life in the new time and place. Many find that his willingness to share his knowledge to be further proof that he's trying to help yet does not want to harm anything either. There are some things he won't speak of. They range from things of import to those which are personally painful," Severus explained.

"What have you picked up?" Voldemort asked catching on to something the man wasn't saying.

"One of his more serious previous relationships was with Ginerva Weasley. He looks at her with pain and sadness in his eyes and he admitted that she was his wife. I had forgotten about it as it came with the information that Barty was KISSed shortly after discovery and Dumbledore placed him with Lily's magic hating bitch of a sister. A lesser relationship had something to do with the Ravenclaw Cho Chang if the way he looks at her with mild disappointment says anything," Severus informed his Lord. "I also ran him through all of the Defense and Potions material I could come up with. If he were to be tested in them now he would receive at least an E in NEWT potions with a Mastery in Defense. For the other subjects I talked Filius, Minerva, and Pomona into testing him as punishment for scaring them when you called him to the first meeting. They agreed and he scored straight E NEWTs in each of their subjects. The only thing he seems to have trouble with in those core subjects is explaining the theory, which he is currently brushing up on. I asked about his other subjects and he told me that he didn't do well on much else aside from Care of Magical Creatures."

"Maybe once he's taken the tests he can learn something he doesn't already know. If he is going to insist on staying at Hogwarts or has time left this year he'll need something to occupy his time, especially if the old goat tries to trap him on the grounds," Voldemort said with a frown.

"I'll encourage him to inquire about runes, arithmacy, healing, and spell creation. I will also offer him a formal apprenticeship in both Defense and Potions. I can work it as another attempt to keep an eye on him for the 'light'. It will help both our positions in regards to Dumbledore and make your discovery and insistence on a relationship between the two of us more believable. If I moan a little bit about being forced to take him as an apprentice near Draco or the Brown girl it will be all over the school before the next meal time," Severus suggested, plotting the next move they could take.

"Once I've got a proper body I can apply for my lordships again and legally change my name. Over the summer I can apply for the Defense position and insist on Barty for my assistant with name change and slight permanent body alteration. It would keep Umbridge away from the school and give us more insight into what was going on," Voldemort agreed thoughtfully.

"Stop plotting, go to sleep," Harry muttered, pulling them both down to lean against him. This turned them into his cuddle toys for a change and they all fell asleep in an awkward puppy pile on the couch that slowly transformed into a bed.

The mindscape released them when Severus' alarm went off the next morning, rousing both wizards to greet the day. Harry had taken to helping with the potions classroom prep and set up as a way to repay the other man's hospitality. Severus had asked for help one morning when they were running a little late and Harry has simply refused to stop helping after that.

"So, something you want to tell me?" Harry asked as he carefully placed each bowl of the explosive powered Erumpent horn.

"He noticed the fact that you've been humoring him... it bothers him," Severus admitted, very carefully avoiding any chance to look at the smaller male.

Harry winced. He knew he should have taken the other man more seriously but he honestly wasn't sure how until he knew that the idiot had at least partially pieced his soul back together. Yes, there had been that vision that was practically whited out by pain around the wand weighing ceremony. Rita had tried to ambush him again and the left over headache had him cursing first and checking for threats second. Thankfully, Barty/Moody had barked something congratulatory about reacting to potential threats. This covered for Harry's slip up nicely and got the irritating reporter to leave him be for the moment.

"It was more those orders he gave the first time we met mentally. Some of them seemed utterly ridiculous and I still wasn't sure if I was going to have to kill him. Its looking more and more like I can just take him as he is, like I don't have to plan his death even though it would require mine as well. I never wanted to be a killer but it wasn't something I could ignore. Last time... he was killing indiscriminately and the muggles were starting to notice. Our community is so small and our best chance of survival is to continue to hide. I was one of the advocates to strengthen the restrictions on the statute and to find ways for the muggleborns to still work magic over the summer holidays. I became known as one of the most traditional members of the Wizengamot and fought to have our traditions taught. I... took Voldemort's place. I don't know how to explain all of that to him and give it back. Bloody hell, I barely managed to kneel to him in the mindscape that night, knowing he could likely kill me," Harry explained with utter frustration. "For this to work I might need the two of you to pin me down and call me an idiot but neither of you have called me on practically anything I've done wrong."

Harry's distress was palpable and so was the fact that he honestly wanted this to work. Severus made a quick decision and started putting everything back where they had fetched it from.

"Severus? Did I do something wrong?" Harry asked in adorable confusion.

"No, it seems we are the ones who have done something wrong. Put everything back, they can do book work in the library while Barty covers for us. We need to see _him_ ," Severus ordered. This was something the two of them had discussed the last time Severus had been called and Harry was stuck in class.

Harry shuddered under the lash of his voiced concern but quickly obeyed. He wondered idly if he was going to get crucioed once they got there or if he was just going to get a telling off for being an idiot. If Severus wanted to show the Dark Lord his memory of this Harry wasn't going to stop him. He also wasn't going to back down if either of them took offense.

They quickly cleaned up the half set out preparations and Harry summoned his invisibility cloak. A spell had the notice of each class' alternate assignment for the day with a disillusioned note for Dumbledore at the bottom of the parchment. Harry had been really annoyed to discover the spell work on the old goat's glasses showed beneath most glamours and nearly every illusion or invisibility magic known to wizard kind. The note for Dumbledore indicated he was going with Harry in regards to research in Diagon ally for the first task. This would keep anyone from becoming overly worried about their absence since the fact that Severus _never_ gave his students a day off would announce their disappearance in any case.

It didn't take much for them to slip out of the castle. Harry was happy to learn about a new exit even if the staff knew about it. The moment they were beyond the wards a tense hand grabbed Harry's invisible arm and they apparated towards Voldemort. As usual the sidealong apparation did not sit well with the green-eyed time traveler. Severus had to practically carry Harry inside as they followed the point me spell to an opulent study that was a mirror to the mindscape.

"What happened?" Voldemort asked, looking up from the papers on the desk in front of him. He'd had his body back for less than a day and hadn't had a chance to inform anyone but Barty and Lucius. He was still sorting out some of the paperwork for the goblins and hadn't decided if he was going to make it a surprise or tell them in the mindscape the next night.

Severus looked an odd combination of startled and put out before quickly masking his expression and kneeling. Not bothering with the usual greeting he answered the question. "Apparently, his reluctance to treat your orders seriously stems from what he accomplished in his previous life and a lack of knowledge on how to explain. He also noticed the fact that we haven't been arguing with him."

"Traitor," Harry said without any sort of heat behind it. "Go on, show him the memory."

Snape obliged and there was silence as Voldemort processed what he had seen.

"Hold him," Voldemort ordered.

Severus quickly obeyed, relatively confident that at worst it might be humiliating for Harry. Harry in turn didn't bother to fight, feeling miserable enough as it was and waited to be punished. The finger flick to the forehead was a surprise, the hug that followed it was an absolute shock as he was sandwiched between both wizards.

"Foolish brat, you accomplished what I could not while balancing the need of everyone else. The pain Severus sees in your eyes when you look at the Weasley chit tells us much and she will pay for hurting you. This lack of confidence is unlike you. As for not arguing with you, the objections you've made are more than reasonable just as your hesitance to follow my original instructions is somewhat understandable. I am gratified to find that you no longer feel the need to plot my demise. The fact that you had the fortitude to kneel to me after everything I undoubtedly put you through is a compliment and shows me that you understand what you are getting into. We have had our differences and now you are mine, the both of you. You need to talk to us more, stubborn creature," Voldemort scolded softly. They stood like that, cuddling for a good twenty minutes.

Harry was the one to decide to try for something more. Voldemort was caught completely by surprise when Harry angled his head and kissed the ruby-eyed man. Heat flared in his eyes as he quickly returned the kiss only to pull back for a moment to claim Severus' own lips.

"You have no idea how much I want to pin you both and have my way with the two of you," Voldemort growled as he pulled back for air. "The problem with that is that once I do so I won't be able to let either of you go for at least a week. I want the time to thoroughly establish my claim so it will have to wait."

"I still haven't had a chance to talk to Moody or the other Heads of House. Severus got them to give me revision packets so my studies are going pretty well, even if I am still a bit out of practice at studying. He also makes me help him with his brewing," Harry informed the Dark Lord making a face that earned him a rumbling laugh from both of them.

"Before you take your NEWTs I fully intend to have you under contract as my apprentice. Once I do no one will say anything if we develop a _close_ relationship. It would be a tad unusual for us to include my potential spouse but it wouldn't raise too many eyebrows. This will give us family quarters and all of us will be able to come and go as we please from the school. It will also give us more protection from Dumbledore's meddling," Severus practically purred in their ears.

"Oh god, I knew I shouldn't have resisted seducing you!" Harry moaned, half cursing his streak of consideration.

"Ah, but that leaves the pleasure of seducing _you_ in our hands," Voldemort said with a dark chuckle. "Since I have no plans to share the two of you with anyone I'll have a bonding contract drawn up as well as an apprenticeship contract. I may not officially hold a mastery in Potions but I do have one in Defense. A dual contract with each of us as his masters will give us more reason to share quarters. As a Staff member our little Harry is legally forbidden to have a romantic relationship with any student under the age of 17. Any teacher-student relationship that does develop requires the work to be graded by someone else or some other promise of fair grading to be established. There is also no restriction on relations with another staff member aside from the rules of common decency in a public setting. I will enjoy taking you both in various places, perhaps spend one of the holidays keeping you in reach and hidden away in Salazar's Secret Chamber, unable to escape my lustful attentions."

Harry started cursing in a mixture of English and Parseltongue. He was as hard as a rock and could feel a similar reaction from the other two wizards. Voldemort's evil laugh just dragged a groan of want out of his future bonded husbands. They stood their together cuddling until their physical desire finally subsided.

"The first task is tomorrow," Harry said quietly.

"And we will both be there to watch. Expect to be kidnapped away once you have completed the task. My paperwork should be processed before I arrive at the school and I will officially be Marvolo Emrys, bastard lost son of Lord Voldemort. A childhood bout of accidental magic permanently changed my eye color and I've stopped using glamours on them out of annoyance. I was raised by a now dead squib relative that ensured I was properly trained. I received my certification in France and have since been traveling to gain more experience while avoiding my father's overzealous followers," Voldemort told them. "Should my parseltongue ability be discovered I can admit that I was hidden from my father, which is true and will also explain my appearance for Dumbledore. It will also be the grounds for taking the Gaunt and Slytherin Lordships. I know that you hold the Slytherin Heirship from when I marked you. Being my own son will explain any transference between the two of us since obviously the magic connecting you to my father, including the dark marks, transferred to me on his death. We will use the death of the diary to provide a final death for Lord Voldemort."

"I always knew you were scary smart," Harry muttered a bit petulantly. This backstory was something so convoluted yet plausible he didn't think he'd have ever managed to pull it off. He also had no doubt that Voldemort... Marvolo now, would not only manage it but with style.

"How do you plan to explain the sudden protectiveness and possessiveness?" Severus asked quietly. "I can use the vow I swore to protect him and his own threatened invocation of the life debt."

"Ha! Told you they weren't in as much conflict as you thought," Harry said smugly.

"We will be discussing that vow... however, I plan to explain that the magic is demanding some sort of compensation for the unprovoked attacks against Harry. Thus, I am required to protect him because of the incidents in first year and second year. This is especially true since he gained the title of Heir Slytherin the night his parents died and I, Voldemort's first born, became Lord Slytherin. Due to my hidden status and travels I could not claim the titles until recently when the magic of the tournament made me aware of the transferred magical bond. Everything that was in my previous name will automatically alter to my current name once the last piece of paperwork is filed. The Goblins will generate the falsified documents about confirming the bond upon my claiming of the Lordships, giving me legal reason to interfere with your life and act as your bodyguard if I deem it necessary. The apprenticeship contract is ostensibly to help moderate the bond and allow us a more formal setting to get used to the changes in our relationship," Voldemort clarified. "I have, of course, contacted the well known Professor Snape about the situation and he agreed to act as a second Master to help monitor and prevent dangerous reactions within the magics. This will all be sent to Dumbledore via the goblins with all appropriate documents as a courtesy to avoid misunderstandings and officially inform the old goat that he can't interfere."

"That's evil... I like it!" Harry said with a joyful laugh.

"Then we are meeting now to discuss your proposal for offering apprenticeship and how it would interact with his participation in the tournament," Severus said with sudden understanding.

"Yes," Voldemort agreed smugly.

"Alright then, you aren't allowed to stop me from flying on my broom and you have to listen to my argument if I say either of you are being stupid. I reserve the right to be a Gryffindor and jump in front of your wand. I accept that the two of you are true Slytherins and will probably punish me for any idiocy unless I can prove there was a really good reason for it," Harry offered quickly, not wanting the two of them to control the conditions of the entire legal agreements. "I have no objection to forming a romantic relationship with either of you... I would eventually like children if we form a romantic relationship but will accept not having them if needed. I ask that you not keep me a virtual prisoner or a literal one."

"That is part of the reason for my name change and new backstory. You have knelt to me and given me your loyalty privately along with a promise of a public declaration at the next meeting. I have accepted that and upheld my end of the bargain, only you, Nagini, and the Diadem remain. Nagini has a patch of an abandoned estate all to herself as a hunting ground and a way to contact me when she cannot be with us," Voldemort said not unkindly, understanding the reluctant commentary about being a potential prisoner and wanting children.

"Alright then," Harry said contentedly. Something inside him suddenly relaxed, releasing tension he had no idea was even there. He finally allowed himself to believe that he wouldn't have to kill the amazing man in front of him or risk the death of the man at his back. They spent the rest of the day helping fill out the paperwork and arguing good naturedly over the wording in both the apprenticeship contract as well as the bonding contract.


	12. Field of Veela

_Siren song of beauty on land and in the air, past which you will travel to treat with ancient kings of wing, claw, and scale_  
_Bargain, steal, or woo an egg of golden delight from these tempermental mistresses then escape in flight_  
_Cross the waters of dangers untold to kneel before the thrones of knowledge and present your bounty_

The words rang through Harry's head as he reviewed a few last minute spells that would hopefully help him through the task. Everyone but the champions were headed for the stands leaving the four champions to wait nervously in the competitor's tent. They had yet to be told the specifics of the task or whether they would perform it consecutively or simultaneously. At this point Harry wasn't sure he cared, he just wanted to get it over with.

"Now then, we've had to change the task a bit which is why you received a different clue," Mr. Crouch began explaining what they would be facing. " _Siren song of beauty on land and in the air, past which you will travel to treat with ancient kings of wing, claw, and scale_ references the first two things you will have to face, a group of Veela and several nesting dragons. _Bargain, steal, or woo an egg of golden delight from these tempermental mistresses then escape in flight_ shows what you will have to do. You will need to first pass the Veela to get to the nesting mother dragons and find a way to gain a golden egg left among the normal dragon eggs before escaping from both the dragons and the Veela. _Cross the waters of dangers untold to kneel before the thrones of knowledge and present your bounty_ encompasses the third part of the task. You will need to cross the black lake safely and keel to the judges while presenting your egg and anything else you happened to collect during the task. Lord Malfoy was kind enough to provide several items of interest to scatter along the path for you to collect if you wish. Whatever you collect is yours to keep. Because of the multifaceted nature of this new task you will be able to gain 50 points from each section in the task of which there are three. You can at any point call for help but you will automatically loose 25 points for doing so. Alternately, you can ask for help from one of your fellow champions giving them a bonus of 5 points for each time they render you assistance.

They were running the task concurrently then, Harry's mind supplied. The fact that Lucius Malfoy was contributing to part of the task surprised him and made him wonder exactly why he was involved at all. He suspected that it was something of a dig for him since Harry's supposed skill level was way beyond that of his fellow champions. Well he had always been a sucker for a challenge. The note about being able to help the other champions was good and he would be using it ruthlessly. He could care less for the points but keeping the other three alive was more than worth it.

There were some pictures taken, a minor argument about what qualified as help and whether they would loose points for asking for help from another champion (they wouldn't) and something regarding unsolicited help. Harry paid attention to that. Apparently, unsolicited help would not be penalized but it also wouldn't gain anyone points. That was fine with the time traveler though it did seem to bother the foreign school heads a bit. Everyone but the four champions finally left once the explanations were out of the way. There was nothing left for anyone to do, they merely had to wait for the sound of the cannon.

Harry had worried about Severus and Voldemort being on the grounds together, within Dumbledore's less than gentle reach. He had insisted on them carrying his invisibility cloak to help keep them safe. He also had no idea that Severus was carrying the Gaunt family ring for Voldemort with the intention of both of them presenting it to their green-eyed brat.

As a result when a burst of accidental magic from a first year sent the Elder wand flying from Dumbledore's hand and Severus reflexively caught it as it tried to sail past him the first part of the Hallows' magic latched onto his core. Returning the wand to the old goat he felt a curious tug on his core but was quickly distracted by the upset eleven year old who was the cause of the accidental magic.

Ten minutes later the task was about to begin and Severus made sure that Voldemort was hidden under the invisibility cloak. They casually wandered over to stand near Madam Pomfrey and the exit to the task, hoping that Harry would get through this unscathed but not really expecting it. They knew he would survive with his blasted brand of luck but both of them had come to care for him in such a short amount of time. During a private discussion they had found that neither of them liked Harry getting hurt. This revelation had them becoming more open with each other and allowed them to build a proper relationship. Both had agreed that even though Harry was mentally 165 the fact that he was in a 17 year old body had them wanting to coddle him a bit. They had agreed that they would let Harry choose when they started having sex. The echo of the cannon signaling the start of the task sent them both rigid as they turned to watch Harry once more dive into danger.

The four champions entered the field at the same time, surveying it for dangers beyond what they'd been told about. It was very close to what Harry remembered from the first timeline except they had to walk across a grass field before entering the rocky pit like area. In that field were the full blooded Veela given free reign to use their allure.

Harry wasn't affected because of his poor history with girls and complete fascination with two powerful Dark Wizards. Of course he hadn't been affected in the last timeline either during his first run through of the tournament. Fleur wasn't affected because of her part Veela heritage. Victor and Cedric though? They were drooling messes in the face of the full power of the allure. Fleur and Harry exchanged silent resigned glances and silently agreed to help their competitors through this obstacle. Both knew that the task wasn't timed and that no one would be able to go home until _all_ of the champions had finished the task.

"Stunners?" Harry asked the blond girl.

"'Zee Veela or 'zee idiot boyz?" Fleur asked, brimming with amusement.

"I was thinking of Victor and Cedric actually. We can drag them through the group, revive them on the other side and yell at them for being idiots before making them wait to try the dragons... of course I think we should all work together on the dragons. It will help us get the eggs faster and if we do it right, keep the dragons from getting hurt or hurting the real eggs. We can try dragging them on the way back out so that they can do something when we get to the lake. I'm pretty sure its got mermaids and grindywalds in it along with the Giant Squid. I bet we can even argue the judges into giving us extra points for team work since the tournament _is_ supposed to be fostering better relations," Harry explained with equal amusement.

"If 'zey refuse to 'elp?" Fleur asked, intrigued.

"Then that's their loss. I'm a parseltongue, that might let us walk right up to the dragons to take the fake egg and walk away without a scratch if I ask nicely. I'm not sure since I've never tried talking to dragons before. Working together at the dragons also makes it less likely that one of us will be squished, fried, or eaten," Harry informed her. "I don't know if we want to split at the lake or work as a team to cross it. Of course they could have thrown in a nasty extra bit at the lake so that we don't just have to cross it but won't know what we're doing until we get there."

"Like what you told us about 'zee last time," Fleur concluded with dread and fear for her sister. Harry nodded solemnly.

"I'll claim the request for help so that you guys get extra points. I also swear to you that if they used your sister in this damned insane idea like the last time I will make sure she makes it out of this alive," Harry told her seriously. The relief and gratitude rolling off of Fleur reminded him just how much she cared about her family. "I am not in this to win. I never wanted to be in this thing so I'm perfectly happy sacrificing my points if it will keep you guys alive. I don't know if you guys were told but in the other timeline I was an Auror and later the Headmaster of Hogwarts. I will do my absolute damnedest to see you all come out of this alive and well."

"'Ank you 'zat is most kind," Fleur told him seriously, the relief that she wasn't actually doing this alone was palpable.

"If it makes you feel better it looks like they cobbled together variations on the entire tournament to change this one task. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if someone thought to mention this first task is like a compressed version of the entire tournament. It also wouldn't surprise me if they insisted on making us go through all three tasks just because," Harry said lightly, earning an agreeing scowl from Fleur.

That's when they noticed Cedric and Victor had started wandering in the direction of the Veela with stupid looks on their faces. With a joint sigh at the two both coherent champions pulled their wands and stunned the lust stupid boys. The Veela turned on them angrily, not happy to have lost their prey. Fleur shrugged and let her own minimal Veela out, her hair shifting to a mass of feathers, her nose gained a more beak-like appearance and her fingers gained talons. A high pitched scolding chirrup had the full Veela stopping dead.

"You just claim us?" Harry asked casually.

"Yes," Fleur said unhappily. "I used 'zee temporary claim. I will have to renew it at some point or release 'zee claim. It will fade on its own in zeveral months but it also interferez with relationshipz. If 'zey are in a relationship 'zey may find a less 'zan warm welcome when we are done with 'zee task."

Harry winced, hoping that didn't apply to his own budding relationship.

"You claim me too?" Harry asked cautiously.

"Non, you are immune and of no interest," Fleur dismissed his worry casually. "Expect zome of 'zee Veela to try zeducing you any way. 'Zey like a challenge and would keep you as a pet until 'zey found their mate."

"Good to know," Harry said with a wince. Hopefully his... boyfriends wouldn't be too upset. He knew they wouldn't be late to the task and were probably already watching his progress or lack there of. "You want to drag Cedric or Victor?"

"Cedric, Victor is rude," Fleur said decidedly. "He tried to grope me but Cedric waz zweet about asking about Beubaxtons."

Harry nodded and cast feather light charms on both downed competitors. They each grabbed their chosen weight and started making their way across the field. Most of the Veela stared at them resentfully but a few tried to climb all over Harry or give him kisses. Harry grimly ignored them until they physically stopped him. A quiet word about already having found his mates usually got them to back off. A few of them wouldn't back down and Harry had to wrench himself free before stunning the overly aggressive Veela. It took them almost 30 minutes to cross the field and the Veela trailed behind them like sharks in the water looking for more chum to be tossed their way.

"This is getting ridiculous," Harry muttered, finally getting fed up with them. The time traveler spun on his heel, eyes flaring with power and proceeded to stun every Veela on the field both in front of them and following them.

"'Zat was not wise," Fleur informed him with a measure of uncertainty at how much power he had so casually displayed in his irritation.

"I didn't put much power behind the spell so we've got a couple of hours before they wake up. Unless they have a second group between us and the lake we would have had to face these Veela again to escape the dragons with the egg and get to the water. If they're stunned they can't stop us or slow us down when we head for the lake," Harry pointed out. Fleur reluctantly agreed and they made their way, dragging the two stunned champions, to the rest area at the edge of the rocky dragon enclosure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone informed me that I called the Grindylows Grindywalds instead. Both of us found it funny since it seems like a cross between Grindelwald and a Grindylow, so I'm leaving it but yes they are the same creatures.
> 
> For those who noticed the lack of the Squid and Mermaids yes, they are in the lake but were not part of this task. I do, however, plan to have them in the 2nd task.
> 
> I apologize for not noticing for so long even if I've decided to leave it.
> 
> Enjoy!


	13. Into the Dragon's Den

Cedric woke to the sound of a sharp slap off to his left. He could feel the tell tale sensation of an Enervate pushing the Stupefy back before dispersing the magic. The cursing in french told him without even opening his eyes that the slap had likely come from the only female champion. Harry's quiet laugh indicated that they were probably somewhere together and safe.

"What happened?" Cedric asked groggily as he forced his eyes open and mind to work.

"Fleur asked me for help when it became clear that the two of you were enthralled by the Veela allure. Since neither of us wanted to be stuck waiting for the two of you to pass through the Veela field we stunned you and dragged you to the rest tent at the edge of the dragon area," Harry explained. His amusement and the mischief dancing in his emerald eyes told Cedric exactly how much of an arse he had probably been. The Hufflepuff flushed in embarrassment before giving his fellow champion a stiff nod of thanks.

"I should have left you for zee Veela to make a pet!" Fleur thundered at the Bulgarian seeker, drawing their attention. She was radiant in her anger and the fact that she looked like herself without the bird-like features told Harry that she had impressive control over her transformation.

"They would not haff made me a pet," Victor argued back with a glare.

"Alright, that's enough. I've already told Fleur but I figure I should tell you guys as well," Harry said, addressing his fellow champions. "I'm not actually in this for the win. I made them change the challenges mostly so I wouldn't get bored and to keep them from trying something so idiotic. Unfortunately, part of my plan backfired and while we got more information for the task we're in the middle of its in some ways more dangerous than the last time. Since I don't want to see any of you dead I'll help however I can. I propose that we work together during the tasks since the entire idea of the tournament is to foster good will and stuff. We can argue that our working together is the entire point. This should get us more points or at least keep them from taking points away in retaliation. In the other timeline I was an Auror for ten years and then later became Hogwarts Headmaster. As such I've got loads of spells and stuff that you don't know along with a few perks granted by the school herself. If you want to go on your own, fine but at least know what you're getting into. They won't rescue you and you _are_ facing death."

The dead silence that permeated the tent made Harry feel a little guilty about his exaggeration when it came to some of the people involved with the tournament, then he thought about Dumbledore. No, what he had said was truth and even the other people who were supposed to help keep them safe as they completed each task might not be able to help them if Dumbledore didn't want them to. It made him suddenly glad that Voldemort was watching in the stands. The Dark Lord was one wizard who wouldn't put up with them being killed out of hand if only because Harry was one of the champions.

"'Arry has sworn to help me retrieve my zister if 'zey have kidnapped 'er again. If you will not exzept his help I have no worries and exzept it gladly!" Fleur informed the two speechless wizards.

"Alright, I'll ask. Why would you help us?" Cedric asked suspiciously.

"I already told you, I don't actually want to be in this tournament. The idiots in charge are using things that experts would have trouble dealing with and the death toll is the reason it was shut down in the first place. What do you think our chances are of getting out of this without a scratch?" Harry shot back.

"Karkaroff will not be happy if I accept your proposal," Victor said, abruptly dropping the heavy accent to speak in perfect English with only a slight burr.

"Ha! I knew you had to be faking more than just your lack of English skills!" Harry said practically dancing in place in victory. "As for Karkaroff somehow I don't think he's going to live very long and no, I won't be the one to follow through on that."

"What do you know that we don't?" Cedric asked suspiciously.

"Loads! Doesn't mean I'll share every little thing that could get you killed if you know about it," Harry said cheerfully.

"Wait! If we know about it? What if we don't know?" Fleur asked suspiciously.

"Which is exactly why I'm not telling you about it," Harry agreed, smirking as they ran through the words again and looked at him in surprise.

"I'm not sure I like the sound of that but I'll trust you," Cedric said almost resentfully. Harry wondered if the reason the Hufflepuff was being so stand-offish was because Cho had expressed an interest in him or if it was something else. What mattered though was the fact that he recognized the hostility as pure teenage hormones and was going to let Diggory sort through it on his own.

"Lovely!" Harry chirped. "Now, my first idea about dealing with the dragons is me trying to talk them into giving us the eggs we need. I've never tried using parseltongue to talk to a dragon so I don't know if it will work. That said I really don't want to have to out fly them like I did last time and blinding them puts the eggs at risk. Transfiguration... well transfiguring a moving distraction only works so well since they aren't stupid and will eventually be able to tell that it is a distraction. If talking to them doesn't work we can always gang up on one and use loads of stunners like the dragon tamers do. I'm open to other suggestions but we have to get moving again pretty soon."

"I think we will play it by ear, no?" Fleur said speaking for all of them. The two wizards reluctantly nodded their agreement.

"Right, then are we good to go or do we need to wait for anything?" Harry asked, immediately attentive to their needs since there wasn't an actual time limit on the task.

"Can we cast a bunch of fire protection spells before we go haring off into danger?" Cedric asked wryly, abruptly reminded of all the "adventures" Harry had been having since becoming a first year Gryffindor. They all quickly agreed and the spells were just as quickly cast, covering each of them in a layer of magical fire protection.

"Right, I'll go first then shall I?" Harry offered after they moved as a group to stand at the edge of the natural amphitheater. There was a murmur of somewhat worried assent from the others before they watched him scramble down the steep incline to face the literal fire-breathing dragons. The others would follow after he either shot a fountain of green sparks into the sky or they heard him scream.

Harry carefully slid down the stone embankment littered with scree and random bits of stone. He knew that he'd played a bit dirty to try and get them to let him go first but he also remembered the injuries both the champions and the dragons had taken last time. He wanted everyone to survive this mess and maybe the dragons wouldn't be so aggressive if he could promise the babies wouldn't be harmed.

The loud roars and increase in heat told him that he was getting close to the nests and the dragons. This time he actually hoped that the tournament organizers had been stupid. If the dragons were all set up in the same area or at least fairly close together he could talk to all of them at once. Rounding the edge of a boulder he abruptly stopped at the sight in front of him. He had been right the tournament organizers were idiots.

Right in front of Harry was all four dragons hovering protectively over their nests and occasionally snarling at each other. It was clear to the time traveler that the temporary nests had been placed too close together. Harry could see a scattering of objects between him and the dragons along with a glint of gold in each nest. He made a mental note to strangle whoever's idea this was, took a deep breath and made himself known.

"~Hello!~" Harry hissed. The blast of fire wasn't actually all that unexpected and he dove back behind a boulder, grimly determined that he would make them understand.

They roared in primal outrage at his proximity to their nests and babies. A quiet Sonarous charm cast on himself allowed Harry to be heard despite the racket they were making.

"~I'm not here to hurt you or your babies. I just want to take the false egg from each of your nests and maybe some of the artifacts scattered around here. I and my companions were tasked with this to prove we are grown and show our skills. I asked them to let me try first so that I could try talking to you. I have no idea if you can even understand me,~" Harry informed them. The abrupt cessation of noise and flame told him everything he needed to know about dragons in relation to parseltongue... they could understand.

"~Approach and summon your companions hatchling,~" the dragons rumbled in near unison. Their voices were more harsh than sibilant and he could tell they were surprised at his words without even looking at them.

Harry cautiously stepped out from behind his boulder and waited to get fried. When that didn't happen he did as asked and sent the green sparks way into the air before carefully approaching the semi-circle of dragon mothers guarding their nests. The other three champions took a couple of minutes to scramble down the slope and find where the dragons were set up. Just like Harry they abruptly stopped at the edge of the boulder to stare in shock. Harry gestured them forwards and they cautiously joined him in front of the dragons.

"~Explain!~" the tempermental Hungarian Horntail mother demanded, making them all flinch.

"~We each entered a tournament of skill. I did not do this willingly but am bound to compete just as the other three are. As a part of our first task in completing this tournament we are to take the false eggs that were placed within your nests and return with them. We have already passed an obstacle and I offered to attempt to speak with you so that we may complete our task peacefully. We have no wish to harm you or your babies but to us you are very dangerous. This task is something we have no choice in if we do not wish to have a part of our very essence ripped away. May we retrieve the false eggs?" Harry asked politely.

"~Why do you smell of death?~" mother Short-snout demanded. Harry winced, realizing what he had forgotten about.

"~I am from a different time that is yet also the same. In that time I accidentally collected Death's special tools and I have died before. Beyond that I do not know why I would smell of Death,~" Harry said cautiously. His words were true but he didn't really want to try and explain the entire Master of Death thing.

"~You alone may enter my nest and retrieve the false egg,~ the regal mother Chinese Fireball informed him. "~If your fellow hatchlings go anywhere near _my eggs_ I will roast them!~"

"~That is very kind of you gracious lady. Please give me a moment to inform them so that they do not worry nor try anything rash. They do not speak this tongue,~" Harry said with a straight laced half bow in her direction. The maned lady took it as her due.

"Alright. As you can tell they understand Parseltongue. I've gotten the Fireball to let me get the egg out of her nest. If that goes well I can probably get the other eggs or talk them into letting each of you get one," Harry informed them in a low voice. "For now don't go to close but if you see an artifact that you like go ahead and grab it, just wait for me to tell them. Stay well back from them and their nests."

There was a mutter of wary agreement as Harry turned back to the dragons.

"~I have told them. I have also told them they can move around and collect the things scattered here which may harm your babies. They know not to come to close to your nests but I ask that you give them a gentle warning if they come to close for your peace of mind,~" Harry hissed politely.

"~That is fine, come get the false egg,~" the Fireball told him impatiently.

Taking the hint Harry carefully moved over to her nest and clambered inside it. The golden egg was easy to tell from the round red spiky eggs of the Chinese Fireball. Harry wasted no time in collecting the correct egg and the few artifacts that had also been left in the nest. He carefully showed each item to the dragon so that she would know he wasn't taking any of her eggs before scrambling free of the nest and out of her immediate range. There was an impressed rumble from the other dragons, easing the tension and worry over at least one batch of eggs.

"~Collect the false one from my nest,~" the mother Common Welsh Green quickly demanded. Both the Swedish Short-snout and the Hungarian Horntail quickly agreed.

"~Only you may enter our nests!~" the mother Horntail hissed in warning.

Harry nodded his agreement and quickly repeated the process, collecting the artifacts and false egg, showing the hovering mother exactly what he had before scrambling free. Each trip he made he brought his bounty back to the place the four of them had stood as he bargained with the dragons before leaving it there to free his hands for the next trip. Finally, the four nests were clear of everything but the real eggs themselves, setting the minds of the mothers at ease.

"~I thank you for your help. There are others like us who try to protect you and make sure that you are healed when you are sick. They can not understand your words but they do everything to keep you safe. Many die under the claws and flame of your kind and they often must send red lights at you so that they can work safely. Most of them would die in your defense if you would let them and would die to protect your babies. Please do not resent them,~" Harry requested softly. He wasn't an idiot and he greatly respected the dragon specialists. In memory of their bravery and his knowledge of Charlie Weasley he wanted at least these four dragons to understand that some members of the Wizarding World meant them no harm.

"~We will think on your words hatchling,~" the mother Horntail said slowly. Their dismissal after that was so clear that Harry didn't have to say anything to the others. The champions quickly made their way to the next rest tent.

"That went far too well," Cedric said grudgingly.

"Will you keep all of the eggs?" Victor asked suspiciously.

"Nope, I'll take one and if you guys want the rest feel free. You guys get first dibs for trying my crazy idea without complaint," Harry shot back with a smirk. He ostensibly only took the one golden egg and left all of the artifacts along with the other three behind for the original champions to sort through and divvy up. They did, throwing occasional suspicious or astonished looks Harry's way.

The next obvious step was to cross the lake. Unlike in the first timeline the rocky dragon enclosure was not on a hill a good distance away from lake or castle. Instead it had been placed in the ground about half way through the original field that had been re-purposed for the first task. When they had faced the Veela they'd only crossed that first half of the field. Now that they were free of the dragon enclosure they had to cross the rest of the field to get to Black Lake before crossing that as well. Harry really hoped that Dumbledore had skipped the hostage portion of the lake task but wasn't counting on it. Using the same method as before they crossed the remaining field full of Veela and arrived at the edge of the lake. It didn't take them long to bring Cedric and Victor around so that they could discuss what they were doing next.

"Why don't we just swim?" Victor asked. "Use our shirts as slings for the eggs, partially transfigure ourselves or use a breathing charm and just swim. Its not like its cold."

"Cold? _COLD?!_ its almost December! Of course its cold!" Cedric nearly shouted.

"Cedric, he lives in a much colder climate. For him these temperatures are really warm," Harry soothed with unconcealed amusement. "Its also one of the reasons Fleur and the other Beauxbaton students tend to shiver a lot. They aren't used to the cold nor do they have the right clothing. I bet Victor would be perfectly happy to strip and go swimming while the rest of us wouldn't even consider it."

Cedric muttered something darkly but didn't object further. The solution turned out to be simple. They each found a stick of drift wood, cast Gemino and then transfigured the pile of sticks into a boat. A joint accio on the ground in front of the judges table after securing themselves inside the boat with rope transfigured from bits of cloth sent the boat skimming across the lake to land on the same ground they had tried to summon. The shock of seeing the champions work together as they sorted out the remains of their boat before moving to stand in front of the judges had keep the audience mostly speechless. Harry soon found out why, they had been watched on some sort of giant viewing mirror complete with color and sound.

"Eh, that's one way to get around my complaint that nobody could see a bloody thing the last time around," Harry said with a shrug before dumping his egg on the table in front of an irate Dumbledore. "Right, that's done. I'm off!"

Harry turned to walk away only to be yanked up short by his boyfriends and quickly snogged.

"Stupid bloody little Serpopard! You nearly got killed! This is worse than watching you on that bloody broom chasing a stupid little golden ball!" Severus scolded as he snatched Harry up by the back of his robes.

"What's a Serpopard?" Harry asked, ignoring the slightly rough treatment and shaking hands as Severus checked him over.

"Its a mythological creature that is a mix of Leopard and Snake. They are generally found depicted in ancient Egyptian and Mesopotamian art and are also called serpent-necked lions. I'm honestly surprised that Severus knows about them," Voldemort said in amusement. He was fighting not to do the exact same thing as Severus but far to aware of Dumbledore's proximity and potential threat.

Right about then is when Dumbledore realized that he might be a danger. A split second later he had his wand aimed at Voldemort, falling into a dueling stance even as the Dark Lord smiled pleasantly at him.

"What's wrong Dumbledore? Not happy to see me?" Voldemort asked icily, his smile sharp, almost a baring of teeth.

"You are not welcome here, sir. How did you get on the school grounds?" Dumbledore challenged. It was clear he thought Voldemort was a threat but that he also wasn't sure who he was. Harry figured that his boyfriend had cast some sort of lingering confusion spell to keep him from needing to fight anyone.

Harry also quickly recognized how bad this could turn out and stepped between them spiting out an order dripping with command. " _ **STOP!!**_ This would be better discussed in privacy, away from everyone else."

"What is the meaning of this Dumblydoor?" Madam Maxine insisted as the other champions watched warily. They had gotten an idea of just how powerful Harry was during the task and he'd just stepped between his Headmaster and another wizard where there had obviously almost been a duel.

"I would like to know that myself," Dumbledore growled low.

They thought about it for a moment and took Harry's suggestion. Moving off to one side, they set up a large area covered by rudimentary wards, privacy spells, and a double layered dueling shield. This left Harry trapped inside with the four Heads of House, two Headmasters, one Headmistress, and one Dark Lord. The moment the spellwork settled into proper place McGonagall turned on her former schoolmate.

"What exactly are you doing here Tom?" McGonagall asked flatly. "I was under the impression that you were still recovering from the last time our Harry defeated you."

"Ah, before everyone gets into a tizzy I'd like to point out that we, he and I, have an agreement that protects the school from attack," Harry put in quickly. "It was also necessary to reveal the oath that Dumbledore forced Severus to make when Voldy first went poof."

"Went poof? Really?" Voldemort asked flatly, clearly unimpressed. Harry shrugged, he had always used odd language to describe things when he didn't know the technical terms.

"How did you even get on the grounds?!" Filius hissed, fingering his wand as if he were about to start a duel at any moment.

"Did Dumbledore not tell you? I sent him all the correct paperwork and everything. I am to enter a joint apprenticeship contract with Severus and Harry. I can't very well have Dumbledore threatening to kill him now that I know what happened in Godric's Hollow and exactly how special the brat is. For all I know these dangerous adventures that he's tricked the brat into each year are simply creative ways to try and kill him. I can't exactly have that now that I've gotten both Harry and Severus to sign the preliminary bonding contract now can I?" Voldemort said evilly. His wording was carefully chosen not to lie yet also not to reveal the fact that he knew that the old goat was aware of his Horcruxes and that Harry was one. "As for my name Minerva, its no longer Tom but Marvolo Emrys. The paperwork is all in order. Oddly the line about feeling the need to keep the brat intact is actually more true than you realize. I couldn't risk leaving him under Dumbledore's complete control, thus the apprenticeship and bonding contract."

"Contracts that are not legal due to Harry's status as a minor," Dumbledore tried to argue.

"'Cept I'm not a minor am I? You made sure of that when you let my name get into the Goblet and wouldn't do anything to help me in this timeline or the last one," Harry pointed out evilly. "My coming back in time even if only via my memories still automatically moved my status from minor to adult and locked it there. Hell, my name was already out of the goblet making me an adult. You _can't_ pull the magical guardian bullshit no matter how hard you try."

"I thought you'd be happy, the brat bought the safety of Hogwarts," Voldemort said slyly. "Not only that my part of the bargain is mostly fulfilled. I am once more sane and mostly healed from the various detrimental rituals that caused my decline. You can not stop me unless you are willing to kill us in front of everyone and we _will_ fight back."

"Just be glad Severus and I get veto power over a good chunk of his plans," Harry finally growled in frustration.

"I can not allow the Dark Lord Voldemort to remain in my school and posing a danger to my students," Dumbledore said flatly, rage sparking in his eyes.

"Are you denying a Founder's Heir the right to access their heritage and fiances?" Voldemort asked, an equal amount of barely contained rage shining in his own ruby orbs. Dumbledore said nothing, knowing he was stuck. "That's what I thought. I've already given the brat my word that Hogwarts and its students will remain safe. I made no promise about the staff because _you_ are the Headmaster and have done more than enough damage to students and society alike. I am just as bound by the contracts as Severus and Harry are. I will _not_ let you take our _home_ from us as you once did to me. If you need me to teach classes I will oblige and I will defend this school with everything I have. What I will not do is let you try to destroy us, the school, or our people. If that means killing you and your entire precious order I will. If that means taking down the government you have corrupted with Light based fanaticism I will. If that means becoming a literal slave to Potter I will."

The words rang with truth and magic as a vow of honest intent. A vow that sent a chime throughout the school's wards and was acknowledged by the magic of the school herself. The ground in the center of the group cracked open allowing a silvery metal vine to grow into a strong stalk and bloom into a large silver flower with smaller flowers all along the vine displaying the school's acceptance and welcome for all to see.

They stared at the flowering vine in shock. Before anyone could think to move the vine shot forwards and bound first Snape, then Voldemort, before finally capturing Harry. A beautiful pure note rang out like a crystal chime, echoing across the grounds and causing fragile splinter like sounds to settle in the very bones of those who heard it. Harry felt something tugging at his insides, his core, and his scar. He could feel the flash of heat in his blood as power flowed from him into the vine, staining it black as it traveled along it. When the black color reached Voldemort it paused only long enough to gain a red tint. Upon touching Severus though it sank into either wrist in a pattern of thorny flowering vines that glowed a bright green for a few seconds before fading away. Next came the slight burning over each of their hearts as a grey glow in a shape that Harry was distressingly familiar with. There for all to see was the mark of the Deathly Hallows quickly sinking into their flesh blood and bone.

"You... Impossible!" Dumbledore stuttered in a mixture of fury and old pain. "You can not be the Master of Death! I still hold the wand."

"Aw hell... fuck it. You tricked me into becoming the Master of Death in the other timeline. That wand became mine the moment my memories updated. Voldy could keep the stupid stone because of what happened when my parents died but he wasn't the actual owner. You gave me the cloak yourself and to gain the title you don't just have to hold the artifacts simultaneously there are a few hidden conditions. Conditions that can't be filled ever again because there can only ever be one Master of Death. I'm immortal," Harry informed him bitterly. "Oh, my body can receive enough damage to kill me but I won't stay dead. I'll only stay dead until my body has fixed its self or Death gets impatient and forces my body into a functioning shape. Its why my body was 150 when I got transferred but my mind had lived 165 years. Got stuck in a death state for a couple of years at one point. Thankfully, I was traveling at the time and it happened somewhere remote or I would have become a test subject for the Unspeakables within the hour."

"And what just happened to us?" Severus asked in a nearly murderous tone. Completely aside from the flashy magic he could tell something inside him had changed and he wasn't happy about not being consulted first.

"Welcome to the club," Harry said wryly with a self deprecating shrug. The movement turned the confining vine to diamond dust, making the ground sparkle around their feet. The castle and grounds hummed so loudly in contentment that everyone from the far edges of the forbidden forest to the outskirts of Hogsmeade could feel it in their bones before it slowly faded away.

"Actually, your potions master fits under a special category. Your pet Dark Lord is more of an irritant and falls under a weird category that is better defined as your special brand of Luck," Karkaroff said in a voice that was clearly not his own. The man's eyes had bleed to black orbs while they were all distracted and he seemed stiff, almost corpse like.

"I take it Karkaroff isn't going to live long?" Harry asked in a long suffering tone of voice.

"He's a traitor and would slit your throat without a moment's hesitation. Now that he knows about you I'm not letting him get you trapped off in some damned wizard machinations or the foolish Department of Mysteries. The veil down there might make it easier for me to wander around their fun house basement but I can't just pull you through the veil without hurting you. Do you really think so little of me my master? And, did you have to pick these two for immortal companions?" Death complained using Karkaroff's body like a hazmat suit.

"Some times I really wonder if you picked up these personality traits from me or if you've just spent too long alone without interacting with average humans under normal circumstances," Harry shot back. "Can I bow out of the tournament yet?"

"No, but now that the primary tournament organizers are aware of your status any time you die you have to start the task over and you are restricted to fifth year spells and under. You are also restricted from using anything beyond Hogwarts level in either of the next two tasks from the start. Alternately, you can go last each time and face everything assembled for the other three to accomplish the same mission," Death informed him with obvious amusement as Harry started cursing viciously. "As they are competing against you I am tossing something into the pot. I will answer one question for the winner or grant them limited time with a person of their choosing who is already passed on. If they can talk you into entering another tournament and arrange everything I'll consider adding something to the winnings there as well."

"You just want them to drive me nuts about all of this," Harry accused. Death laughed and faded away, returning Karkaroff to control of his own body who promptly fainted.

"Eh, no stamina," Harry sneered derisively, making a rude gesture aimed at the fallen man.

"And how did you react when you were first possessed? That would be the only way you could compare it," Voldemort asked with a snort of amusement.

"Lets see.... you possessed me when I was in a severely weakened state, had just finished a running battle with your minions, was grief stricken as I watched my godfather fall through the veil, and had failed to cast Cruico on Bellatrix Lestrange... I didn't pass out and was able to walk out of there, bruises and all. Karkaroff has no stamina," Harry said in a teasing tone that belied exactly how horrible that day had been. "But that was in the other timeline."

"When you were actually a child," Voldemort said with a regretful sigh.

Harry shrugged and then indicated Karkaroff's prone form. "You have no idea how aggravating that being can be. Its like he's... pranking me and since I can't die properly unless he wants me to it opens up a range of pranks that would normally be lethal. Do you have any idea what its like to be stuck on the stakes in the bottom of a magical spike pit for three days straight? Even with the wounds being numb its a pain in the arse to get free, pun not intended. I knew I shouldn't have listened to him about that bloody mural in the Mayan temple. The curse breaker team was really freaked out when they finally pulled me free."

Dumbledore snarled and tried to Oblivate all of them, tried to take back _control_. Harry's magic reacted, violently. Not only did the Elder wand snap into Harry's hand but Dumbledore went down, out cold with magical second degree burns over just a touch more than 50% of his body.

"Well, that was unexpected," Harry said, blinking his eyes in surprise.

"And you wonder why I want the man dead," Voldemort said mockingly. Harry just shrugged sheepishly and tore down the protections and privacy charms surrounding their group. It was time to face the masses.

Their reactions had all been priceless from the stuttering of Madame Maxine to the scolding Harry got from the Heads of House and the sudden snog he got from each of his boyfriends as the shock finally wore off. All of it caught on camera as they stood over a badly burned Dumbledore and out cold Karkaroff. As far as Harry was concerned he had just won the lottery. The rest of the school wasn't so sure how to handle the sight and only Madam Pomfrey's quick actions kept things from spiraling out of control.

Rita also took that chance to try for an interview. Harry decided to blow her off and using one of the privileges granted to the Heirs of the Founders he snagged his boyfriends before apparating straight to the entrance to the dungeons. Severus got the hint and quickly escorted them to his quarters where they proceeded to hide until the next day.


	14. Doubts and Fears

The points were announced in the paper the next day along with various nasty and nice comments about Harry. Dumbledore's injuries were classed as mysterious while Karkaroff was declared fine aside from a really good scare. Cedric, Fleur, and Victor were given 126, 145, and 115 respectively out of a total of 150. Dumbledore had argued that Harry's complete disregard for the spirit of the tournament and his repeated attempts to convince his fellow champions of his advanced skill was grounds for refusing him any points. Madam Maxine pointed out that if he hadn't wanted Harry in the tournament he should have listened to their objections and found a way to safely disqualify him the same night the goblet spat out his name. In the end Harry was awarded 100 points for his actions during the first task (partly because none of them could understand parseltongue to know what had actually been said to the dragons) and they moved on.

Harry woke slowly to the warmth of having several other bodies in the same bed. The thing that made him tense was feeling two _large_ bodies in bed with him rather than the smaller bodies of his children. A mutter from a familiar voice though told him where he was, reminding him of his impromptu time travel and the amazing chance of a good relationship with both Snape and Voldemort.

"You are thinking too loudly," Voldemort grumbled, pulling Harry closer in his half asleep state. Harry didn't fight the cuddling, it was something he had only ever gotten from his children and lately, from his boyfriends.

The soft grumbling from Severus combined with Voldemort's grumbling told him that they really wanted to keep him. Harry knew they were both private people and yet they had both insisted that the three of them share a bed last night. From the way they were reacting Harry suspected that Severus had insisted on them in the same bed from the start to try and get him used to sharing with them. He also suspected that Voldemort had been discussing things with Severus that concerned him. So far he'd been the driving force behind a lot of things in the last month or so but maybe he should back off? Yeah, screwing with Dumbledore was fun and it got people to actually think about what the old man was doing but was this relationship thing moving too fast?

Harry decided to think about that later as he tried to quietly slip from the bed to use the loo and make breakfast. That's when he ran into the ward that would keep him in bed. Grumbling about possessive Slytherins he quickly disabled it and made his bathroom run. When he got back both of his bed mates were awake and watching for him like a pair of hawks.

"Trapping me on the bed wasn't nice," Harry scolded half heartedly. He turned towards where his clothes were normally stored only to be swept up by his Slytherin boyfriends.

"You forget that we understand how easily we could loose you," Voldemort growled.

"You were a reckless Gryffindor yesterday. Do you honestly think we will let you out of our sight for any length of time?" Severus said in a matching growl.

Harry huffed in amusement before using a spell he had developed for his children. The magic picked up his possessive wizards and dumped them on the bed, keeping them there with a special temporary ward. They looked at him in shock from their temporary prison.

"You two will stay in bed while I go make breakfast. I'll consider letting you cuddle me after we've eaten," Harry informed them with a laugh, walking away as they ordered him back within their reach.

Humming in happiness Harry called for an elf and asked for the ingredients he would need to make a big breakfast. The distrustful and disappointed look from the elf led him to explain that sometimes humans liked making food for those they cared about. The idea was something along the lines of seeing them use something that you provided and knowing that you were the provider. There were a few other aspects but once he admitted that he was hoping to eventually marry them the elf gained a look of delighted understanding and eagerly offered to help. Harry said thank you and proceeded to make breakfast for his stubborn Slytherins.

As he worked Harry wondered at the fact that neither man had pushed. If you didn't count Severus' insistence that they didn't need a second bed or Voldemort's very open claim to not only Harry but also Severus as well one might think they were guarding him. Of course they could be both guarding and courting him, no matter that they had promised this was a courtship rather than a form of imprisonment... If they were imprisoning him it was with affection and Harry found he did not mind all that much but then came the question of what he would do if they decided to walk away or choose someone else. The sudden worry gave him a headache as he made breakfast. A sharp flash of worry and irritation searing from his scar brought him back to earth and he quickly assembled the food on several trays before rejoining his boyfriends in the bedroom.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Severus asked in concern as they both studied his face.

"I brought breakfast!" Harry said brightly, completely ignoring the question. He absently took down the children's ward around the bed and set out the trays, one for each of them with the dishes and such while the third held the food so they could have what they liked. Harry passed just too close to Voldemort, easily in reach and found his wrist caught in an iron grip.

"Brat, tell us what is wrong," Voldemort ordered softly, completely ignoring the food in favor of Harry himself. Green eyes refused to rise and meet either black or red as they stood there in silence, waiting for something to break.

"I see," Voldemort breathed softly. Harry flinched, instinctively trying to pull free and hide whatever vulnerability had been discovered.

"What?" Severus asked, his eyes never leaving Harry's too still form.

"The reason his sister said we would have to dedicate our all to him and the reason why he would have pursued you so vigorously. He doesn't think he can keep us. He's trying to figure out how to ensure we won't leave him. He also doesn't want to hurt us but at the same time he believes that he would not be able to stand us leaving even if he forced himself to allow it. He's acting the self-sacrificing Gryffindor that the old goat trained him to be," Voldemort explained, his grip never loosening even as he felt their brat start to tremble in his grip. "I bet that he thinks he isn't worthy of us. In fact with his previous reaction about having taken my place I'm certain of it. He's falling back into the habits that helped him in the past. Tell him Harry, explain why you snuck off to make us breakfast and took so long making it."

"I... I... did you not want breakfast?" Harry asked his apparent boldness destroyed by his trembling and hesitant words.

Severus cursed and both Slytherins were up off the bed with Harry sandwiched between them in the blink of an eye.

"The food," Harry stammered.

"The food can wait," Severus said harshly, his hands infinitely gentle even as he clutched Harry tight between them.

"Do you think we would risk everything that we are simply to leave you?" Voldemort scolded. "Do you think that we would sign a _bonding_ contract with you if we did not want you? No matter how little time has past? Did you think we were not looking around at your memories when we shared your mind? We know what you have done and even your sister's declarations would not have stopped us if we wished to spurn you. No, your advances are welcome and if we need to pin you down and fuck you for a week straight to get through that thick skull of yours that we have issued our claim we will."

"If we have to use bonding magic to ensure that you do not choose for us, so that we might keep you then we will," Severus agreed with an indignant snarl before claiming Harry's lips in a rough kiss. His words were ragged when the kiss broke. "Don't paint us with the same brush as those who have already hurt you. Don't shy away from us and believe we will keep you as a pet or a trophy. Don't you _ever_ expect us to treat you as Petunia and Ginerva Weasley did! We are not pets to keep appeased nor monsters needing the same."

"I'm sorry," Harry said in a trembling voice that was a mix of shame, lust, and regret, thinking he had lost them already.

"So the Seer's warning wasn't sufficient," Death said from the shadows, his form a shifting mass of darkness and light.

"Our discussion with our fiance isn't done, please return later if the matter is if any importance," Voldemort said curtly, his eyes never leaving their stubborn brat.

"Then you do not care that someone is attempting to steal my master from you?" Death asked with a dark chuckle. Two dark heads immediately swung around to look in the direction of the voice but their bodies remained in place, pinning a now whimpering Harry between them.

"Explain!" Severus barked, automatically soothing Harry when he flinched at the loud sound.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore ensured that a low level love potion keyed to one of his pawns and a time delayed doubt potion keyed to Severus Tobias Snape were placed in my master's food last night. Yes, he has trouble with his doubts and his need to keep those who care for him close but this devolution was too rapid to be natural. My advice is to continue calming and reassuring him, use his long hidden needs to both possess and to submit to keep him with you, to help reassure his deeply held doubts. It wouldn't go amiss if he found himself being fucked when he finally came free of the potions but that is your choice. It would work just as well if you gave him the antidote and then pinned him in place for the rest of the day, not letting him far from either of you..." Death said with some consideration. "My magic would not have allowed you to become his immortal companions without reason."

"We thank you for the information," Severus said cordially. Death's only answer was echoing laughter as he faded back into nothingness.

"We can't fuck him like this, not without his consent," Voldemort fumed. He wasn't a rapist and even in his deepest levels of insanity it wasn't something he had ever condoned or allowed. It was usually the same way he felt about children, Harry being the exception and Bellatrix being absolutely insane.

"Which is why I will brew an antidote and he will not leave our side for the next _week_. We can claim its to keep him from pulling another stunt like walking in front of those dragons again without any thought for his own safety," Severus said darkly. He wasn't pleased at the attempt to subvert their brat nor was he pleased with the stunt Harry had pulled during the task. Though what he had actually done this time had been a far sight better than when he'd faced the task in the other timeline, attempting to out fly a dragon of all things!

"I'll hang on to him and make sure he eats," Voldemort nodded in agreement. "You can either eat with us or swallow a piece of toast before starting on the antidote."

"I would rather simply start on the antidote. I don't generally eat much in the morning in any case," Severus said casually, hiding the fact that it wasn't just that he didn't eat but that he couldn't eat. Like Harry he hadn't always had enough to eat growing up and his stomach had never recovered.

Voldemort snatched up the potion master's wrist before he could make good his escape and eyed him narrowly before it clicked and his eyes went wide.

"Maybe I should monitor both of you. Now that I have you I _will not loose you_! You will also be brewing yourself the appropriate potions to repair the damage to your stomach. If I have to have Narcissa remove your stomach and force you to grow a new one with the organ replacement potion I will," Voldemort informed him sternly.

"And if I refuse?" Severus asked boldly.

"Then when we're done curing our brat I'll inform Minerva and Narcissa both of the situation," Voldemort countered with an evil smirk. Severus didn't quite manage to swallow the whimper before nodding his agreement and bolting when the other man's grip loosened. 

"What am I going to do with the both of you?" Voldemort muttered despairingly with a shake of his head. He cradled the suddenly clingy Harry to him and they both ate the wonderful breakfast his brat had made for the three of them. It took only a moment to send the message to Minerva and Narcissa, explaining why they weren't at breakfast and what he had discovered. Both of them were instructed to wait at least until lunch before trying to pounce on the trio on pain of denying them the chance to help with the future wedding.

Sheepishly, Severus returned just as they were finishing to take a sample of Harry's blood. A quick sticking charm and a glare was enough to make the stubborn Potion Master reluctantly swallow some of the food. This led to him practically devouring his portion and half of the extra Harry had made for them to feast upon.

"If I have to monitor the two of you at meal times I will and a nutrient potion is _not_ a meal," Voldemort warned, Harry cuddled up in his lap like a forlorn human-sized kitten.

"Yes my lord," Severus responded, refusing to meet his gaze.

"None of that. My concern is not only for your well being as my potions master but also as one of your partners. I will not tolerate self destructive behaviors from either of you," Voldemort said severely. Severus nodded his understanding and was released to brew the antidote.

Minerva and Narcissa couldn't force themselves to wait until lunch and barged in shortly before Severus returned with the antidote.

"What happened?" Narcissa asked in concern.

"According to Death Harry was dosed with several potions. One increased his doubts exponentially and at least one weak love potion," Voldemort growled his displeasure at the trick as he cuddled a whimpering Harry close. "Severus is brewing the antidote now. His reaction was what tipped me off about his appetite."

"Death!?" Narcissa spluttered just as Severus walked in. He paused, giving Voldemort a half hearted glare, knowing the man had snitched on him before bringing the antidote over. They very carefully fed it to Harry. The reaction was instantaneous. Harry briefly convulsed before lurching to the side of the bed and throwing up everything in his stomach.

"There must have been something else that wasn't active," Severus muttered angrily as they very gently took care of Harry, cleaning the mess away and cradling the quickly exhausted wizard.

"I am going to _kill_ whoever did that to me," Harry moaned miserably.

"Any more excessive doubts brat?" Voldemort snarked in a feeble attempt to cover his worry.

"Sorry, I know that neither of you accept that sort of thing," Harry said in evident exhaustion.

"You were dosed with several potions, you are not to blame," Severus sniffed regally, giving Voldemort a warning glare. The Dark Lord tilted his head slightly in acknowledgement of the reprimand and helped Harry into the center of the bed.

"What do you mean that Death warned you?" Minerva asked suspiciously. She remembered what happened yesterday to Karkaroff and was somewhat worried that one of them had been hurt.

"Just that, we were about to prove to him that he wasn't allowed to make decisions for us and that we _did_ want him when Death showed up. Apparently Dumbledore is highly displeased with Harry's current independent streak. He was dosed with a self doubt potion and a love potion with indications of at least one more. Though from his lack of reaction to it I suspect that the brat is either too powerful or has developed an immunity to one or more. He certainly reacted to the self doubt potion," Severus answered with a scowl.

"And yourself?" Narcissa asked suspiciously. When Severus wouldn't answer she nodded and turned to McGonagall. "Restrain the stubborn idiot please?"

Severus tried to bolt only to get caught by a transfiguration spell that turned the stone of his rooms into living vines that snatched him up and held him struggling in mid-air. He snarled and spat, fighting to get free only for the bindings to hold him more firmly.

"I'll let you dose me with whatever potions you want for a week if you let them check you," Harry bribed, having figured out what was going on from the fragmented memories of the morning.

Severus went limp. He didn't want to be checked but it was going to happen any way. At least this way he'd get to have their brat at his mercy for a week. A thoughtful look from both witches had Harry blushing as they checked the stubborn potions master over.

"There's enough long term damage that I'm going to have to vanish his entire intestinal tract along with his stomach. I'm certain he'd prefer a potion to correct the damage but we'll have to work with the older healing spell. I'm afraid that all three of them will be unavailable for the next day or two since both Potter and my Lord will be feeding Severus magic. They will also be making him stay in bed while I monitor his condition," Narcissa said with a mixture of sympathy and regret.

"Well, the students will be pleased," Minerva said somewhat wryly. "I'll work on trying to get Albus to stop trying to make them obey whatever plan he's trying to use. Not that I think I will get anywhere but I will at least try. We'll have to figure out what to do about Severus' work load but I think that Potter is far enough along in the revision packets and such that we can safely leave it for a day or so. I hope Tom... excuse me _Marvolo_ brought something to do."

"I thought you had very publicly broken ties with the old goat," Voldemort asked curiously, ignoring Severus' grumbling about stubborn witches and interfering Dark Lords.

"Not quite and he only thinks I'm very angry with him," Minerva said with an evil smirk. "I have to have access to his office and rooms if I'm going to help with the pranks at all. I simply haven't done anything yet to give him a false sense of security. I'll wait until you three can join the rest of the school before I start offering to help the students prank him."

"Evil cat," Severus said in reluctant approval, making everyone laugh. He was promptly released and ushered back into bed before the medical spells were cast and Narcissa settled into the living room to monitor his condition in case of complications. Harry and Voldemort wasted no time in beginning to feed him their magic nor taking advantage of the situation to cuddle him.


	15. Batty or Moody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one did not want to be written. I think I got the convoluted conversation down alright and showed off how Barty screwed up but I'm not sure. Tell me if you see something wrong and enjoy!  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"At this point I'm tempted to just use muggle only techniques on the tasks. Maybe they'll get a bloody clue that muggles might actually be dangerous... We've only kept hid by the skin of our teeth and deals with the muggle government," Harry grumbled after their last session on the final day of feeding magic into Snape. They had been discussing a wide variety of subjects in an attempt to distract the potions master including some of the previous timeline and Harry relished their quiet time together. He was also glad that he wouldn't have to loose these two amazing men to Death's duties.

"He kept the second task the same for the most part but you'll have an additional handicap. Using muggle items would get around all of that nicely, provided you used the correct items. Combining them with minor charms and such would eliminate the potential point loss," Severus informed them with a hint of approval, more than a little exhausted from his treatments over the last day.

"I could care less about my score and would rather be disqualified but I'm not sure I can manage that without loosing my magic," Harry said ruefully.

"The third task will be different if only because the brat won't be kidnapped at the end like I originally planned. No brat to steal blood from," Voldemort said with a smirk, returning the conversation to the tasks. He gave a sigh of contentment at being able to cuddle the other two and had future plans for more.

Harry's "Oi!" had both Slytherins smirking at him. His oh so mature response was to blow a raspberry at them.

"The prophecy is really finished, you wouldn't have been able to become my immortal companions otherwise," Harry said wistfully after a moment of quiet cuddling. The two Slytherins looked at him in stunned silence as the Master of Death mentally plotted their escape into normal life once the tournament was over.

"What do you mean?" Voldemort asked cautiously.

"I mean if we really had to kill each other you couldn't have become properly immortal and tied to me when I was already Death's Master. He really doesn't like me winding up dead and punishes me with lots of paperwork when I've been stupid about it," Harry admitted sheepishly. "I've talked to Death about it a couple of times and it was pretty much fulfilled the night my parents died. Dumbledore is the one who forced events to mirror the first part only taking on connotations of the second part. The second part about death was more of a warning than an actual requirement. You see the first part said Vanquish which is actually a variation on defeat but death isn't absolutely required to fulfill that even if it does count for the same thing most of the time. The later part of the prophecy actually had to do with the fact that I've been carrying around a piece of your soul in my scar. You had to kill me to get rid of it the first time."

"Is my Horcrux still there?" Voldemort asked with clear interest, sending Severus into a coughing fit that resulted from shock. The Dark Lord knew that even if it wasn't he didn't need the anchors anymore so it wasn't as much of an issue as it might have been. Harry didn't get to answer because Barty/Moody limped in floating the trunk with the real Moody inside it. Barty/Moody immediately threw up enough privacy spells and wards to surprise the momentarily trapped men and effectively seal the room.

"To what do we owe this pleasure?" Voldemort asked ruefully.

"Finally dealing with an insane Auror," Barty/Moody said with a humorless smile. "I've explained the basics to him and let him stew over it with a few bits of proof. I even gave him a proper set up rather than the temporary confinement I'd been using. He wouldn't even discuss talking with us until I got fed up and gave an oath for it. The paranoid bastard still took another day to decide he wanted to talk instead of play prisoner. He's not getting his wand or eye back for this but I am giving him back his leg. Oh, and I caught Narcissa looking at wedding magazines so expect to be ambushed for that."

"Thanks for the heads up," Harry said grumpily. He really didn't want to deal with that woman on a marriage planning kick. At least Luna, Hermione, and Molly Weasley weren't teamed up with her... yet.

Something occurred to Harry just as Moody managed to clamber out of the trunk with the help of Barty/Moody who was quickly returning to his natural form. "Its almost as if this isn't a battle between light and dark but a proper war between Snakes and Lions, Slytherins and Gryffindors," Harry's absent muttering froze the others in place for a moment before everyone turned to stare at him.

"What?" Harry asked cluelessly.

"A war between Lions and Snakes?" Severus asked dangerously. Harry shrugged, not getting why his absent thought was bothering them.

"Aye, and with both Badgers and Ravens caught in the middle along with everyone else," Moody pointed out with a scowl. A sharp nod made it clear that he'd made some sort of decision. "I've spent to long fighting Dark Wizards but if Potter really pulled some sort of time reversal... I'm in. That said I won't answer to anyone but Potter. I'll also make my objections known but I will follow Potter's orders and hope that he knows what he's doing."

"That was... anticlimactic," Voldemort mused with narrowed eyes.

"I hadn't even gotten around to telling him that Potter pulled off an ancient bonding to the two of you with _Death_ as the officiator and bought the two of you immortality," Barty admitted in pure shock. He'd been floored when they'd told him what had happened during the tete with the judges and the open target on Karkaroff had made him ecstatic. The traitor was already suffering from various dark curses that were carefully disguised as harmless, if annoying, pranks.

"What do you expect? I was a Raven and, along with the Badgers, we are obviously fair game for either side," Moody said grumpily. "There's also the fact that dear old Albus still hasn't noticed I've been replaced."

"I don't remember you in my house," Barty said with a frown.

"Consider our age difference," Moody countered simply.

"Oath," Severus demanded. Moody shrugged and held out his hand for his wand. Barty handed it over warily, positioning himself so that he stood protectively between the grizzled Auror and the three wizards on the bed.

"I, Alastor John Moody, do hereby swear to obey Harry James Potter in regards to protecting our world from discovery and/or destruction owing to his provided proof of what I currently deem to be accidental time reversal or memory time travel. I do also swear that should he attempt to destroy our world I will do my absolute best to stop him. So Mote It Be," Moody declared, the other wizards echoing the sealing statement. Barty grudgingly handed back the man's eye and coat so that he wasn't standing there in only his long-johns.

"I can live with that," Harry said with a snicker. Severus lightly smacked the irreverent immortal brat before deciding to take advantage of their size difference. Harry found himself quickly turned into a living cuddle toy and the evil smirks of his companions told him he wasn't escaping.

"As much as I hate drinking the Polyjuice what do we do now that we've got grumpy on our side?" Barty asked in a mixture of amused politeness as the two former Ravenclaws watched the two Slytherins cuddle with their trapped former lion.

" _You_ are going to be using semi-permanent transfiguration to change your features and act as my assistant so I can keep an eye on you," Moody retorted before anyone else could answer.

"Actually, that might not be a bad idea," Harry said consideringly. "I can mostly take care of myself and Death won't actually let me stay dead but the students don't have that kind of a safety net. I know we can't do much about the champions and the challenges but we can at least try to keep anyone else from adding to Death's workload. Barty isn't allowed to torment Neville... er, what else? Protect the students? Actually, you might want to find a way to keep Dumbledore from talking with any of them alone or at least eavesdrop on any discussions like that. I concede that Karkaroff probably needs to die but there's no reason to upset the students with his death. I'd rather not have to deal with Barty Sr.'s death like last time but if he's too much of a pain..."

"Why?" Severus asked pointedly. Why was Harry sanctioning the man's death? Why wasn't he trying to use his Gryffindor foolishness to save the man?

"He liked sending people to Azkaban without a trial," Harry muttered, refusing to meet anyone's eye.

"He also broke me out of Azkaban solely as mother's final request and kept me locked up under the Imperious for years," Barty said dryly. "There is no love lost between us. Incidentally, Dumbledore really isn't pleased with your new independent streak and has had me or rather Moody in his office to discuss dosing you with loyalty potions or using a ritual to bring you to heel. Most of it seemed to be ranting but he's getting to the point of ignoring legalities as long as you come back under his control. You've countered most of what he's tried so far and he's been getting uncomfortable questions. I think I've got him convinced that its likely just a phase, the natural teenage rebelliousness, for the most part. He's desperate enough to believe he's still in control that he accepted it for the moment so be careful. I suspect after that little display with the judges and my lord's return he may be leaning more towards the idea that you're being tricked or actually going dark and was humoring me instead of taking my points seriously."

"Lovely," Harry said grumpily. He was still trapped in the arms of his fellow immortals and secretly glad for it.

"He won't stay thinking that way and there's a good chance that he simply thinks me deluded and blind if he made out that he thinks this is simply teenage rebellion. He'll be especially bad after that little bonding show if it really was performed by Death. Teenage rebellion doesn't generally risk destabilizing an entire country or overthrow mortality," Moody drawled. "You'll have to come with me to Albus' office when we leave and we'll admit that I had you take my place with Polyjuice for the start of the year just to see how badly the students would do in identifying the real thing."

"You will also apologize to Neville for showing us the Unforgivables in class," Harry added sharply. "Not only did you use all three of them on spiders but cast the imperious on every single student, which was annoying by the way. Admittedly, it helped me fight Voldy's Imperio in the other timeline but I already know how to throw it off. I can't learn Occlumency better than I know it now because of trauma so its not an issue."

"Albus authorized the use of the Unforgivables on school grounds?!" Moody said in shock. Harry nodded unhappily. "Oh I am going to have words with him, count on it!"

"We have a legal apprenticeship and bonding contract with our brat so he can't marry his former Golden Boy to a supporter nor can he separate us. Legally I am Marvolo Emrys, bastard first born son of Voldemort and the current Lord Gaunt and Lord Slytherin. Dumbledore may ask you to look over the report sent to him about my new legal identity. As it was all arranged before the unusual ancient bonding that Death performed and we haven't had a chance to check with Gringotts... well, I wouldn't necessarily be surprised if our status has changed," Voldemort pointed out.

"Yeah, the three of you are married now," Barty said with a snort of amusement. "Actually, have you guys fucked yet? If not he might try and forcefully dissolve the bond on the grounds of lack of consummation."

"You think that Cissy would let us?" Severus asked in blatant astonishment.

"So this weird sense of urgency is probably your magics trying to kick us out so that you can actually consummate your marriage... ah, come on Moody, lets talk to Lady Malfoy in the other room. She can help us with the permanent transfiguration of my new face," Barty said brightly, quickly dragging both former Auror and trunk from the room. They felt the wards go up on the outside, including several heavy duty silencing charms.

Severus barely waited for the silencing ward to go up before stealing a kiss from Harry, very aware that his body had finished healing during the last discussion. Harry moaned into his mouth and fought not to whimper or wriggle in the grip of his two handsome Slytherins.

"You brat are going to be adorning my cock before we leave this room," Severus hissed gleefully. Harry could only produce a garbled guh, as a result both of them were shocked to suddenly be trapped under him as he smirked evilly at the two proud Slytherins.

"Oh no you don't. You've both been teasing me for too long. Now that I've got an excuse to keep you and make sure everyone knows you're mine I'm not gonna let it pass me by," Harry informed them. What happened after that only the three of them knew but both Barty and Moody found it interesting that the two Slytherins would blush furiously and Harry took on a smug satisfied look when Barty asked later.


	16. Consummation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You people asked for it so I gave it to you. The consummation and confirmation of their marriage. Enjoy!  
> For those not interested in smut this chapter is skippable.  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry's Magic flared, stripping his prey down to the skin barring boxers. This sent a shock of cold slapping against the newly exposed flesh and setting both Slytherins to shivering.

"Yum!" Harry said happily as he looked over the muscled chests. One was lean and wiry with scattered scars and dark treasure trail leading under the edge of remaining fabric of the red and white striped cotton boxers. The other was slightly muscled but not enough to go beyond flat, pale and smooth marred only by the slightly lighter trail of hair that led to dark green silk boxers.

"You don't have to be sarcastic about it. I know I'm no spring beauty," Severus muttered, looking away and missing the confusion of the other two.

"And how many scars do you think I have? Severus, your scars are proof that you have survived. They aren't ugly or disfiguring and you have never had anything to be ashamed of for having them.Yes, you might not be proud of how you got some or even all of them but they are still proof of life. Even without the bonding I agreed to this when I signed that contract. You were also both doing a pretty good job of seducing me," Harry explained with a lustful chuckle. "I'm just returning the favor and getting a piece of the pie all at the same time."

With that Harry let his magic wash over all three of them, teasing his two partners mercilessly and removing the last of their clothes.

" _Harry_!" Severus found himself pleading, incredibly aroused by the powerful use of magic. He'd known as soon as marriage had been mentioned that he wouldn't be able to keep himself separate and aloof from the other two. He'd also known that he was likely to be under one or both of them. Thankfully, he didn't mind taking the submissive position or being the one in control, either worked for him.

Voldemort groaned loudly in response to a second wave of magic washing over them as he fought not to simply _melt_ under the sensation. Harry ignored both desperate protest and groan to begin exploring both of his partners, touching and licking his way all over the two of them until they were strung hot and tight with arousal.

"I'm glad. I wasn't looking forwards to giving the two of you up," Harry said wickedly. Both dark wizards were barely coherent from Harry's explorations and consequentially unable to respond to his words. Another wash of power had them both ready to be fucked into the mattress. Their holes were so slick and stretched they were dripping and gasping at the sensation caused by the magic.

Voldemort was the first one to feel Harry entering him at the same time as Severus was subjected to a spell that felt like a thousand tongues licking all over his body sending him into further incoherent sounds. The careful touch of the physically younger wizard had the Dark Lord realizing that Harry had never actually done this before. Once Harry was fully seated inside the ruby eyed man with his dark potions master literally begging to be fucked as he writhed next to the joined two, he relaxed.

"Now you're both _mine_ ," Harry said lowly, fiercely.

Before Voldemort could get anything past the lump in his throat to agree or argue that they belonged to him instead of Harry being the owner Harry _moved_. The Master of Death hit his partner's prostate head on, gaining confidence as he moved and sent his partner into enough waves of sensation that Voldemort went completely non-verbal, begging with his body until he came _hard_. Harry gave a few more thrusts before spilling his own seed inside his first husband, kissing him as he came. The thousand tongue spell on Severus was released and he was pulled closer. Before either dark wizard knew it Severus was being slid inside Voldemort and Harry was rapidly getting hard only to quickly slide into Severus.

"Oh yes, you're both definitely _mine_ ," Harry chuckled evilly before taking Severus while simultaneously using Severus' cock to take Voldemort a second time in as many minutes. He took them both hard and fast pausing only to keep them from coming too soon and readjust their positions so that no one would get hurt. Magic swirled around and through them, cementing their marriage and marking them with the consummation of the last half hour or more. When they finally came they came together, collapsing into a tangled pile of limbs with Harry on top.

"What was that?! Death said you wanted to submit!" Severus asked almost the moment that he was properly coherent nearly twenty minutes after they had all finished.

Harry chuckled and answered with good cheer from his position sprawled across both of them. "I was feeling more possessive than anything and the submitting part was left over from before. I want to take care of my partners and be taken care of by them but I've never had anyone take care of me so I don't know how to react to that. Submitting in bed is the closest thing in my mind to being taken care of by someone else. I know that doesn't quite match but no one ever taught me stuff like that. My marriage to Ginny... didn't work out."

"If she tries to take you from us she dies," Voldemort said flatly, quickly trapping Harry between the two of them.

"She's a _child_. I don't bed children, besides I've got the two of you don't I?" Harry shot back, making a face of complete disgust at the thought that reassured both of his new husbands. No one commented on the fact that he hadn't said yes or no to killing her if she tried anything. They quickly slipped into satisfied sleep.


	17. Barty Meets Goat

The three wizards focused on helping Harry with his duties, his revision - OWLs and NEWTs both, and his certification for his Mastery's, something they were all gleeful to spring on the old goat. One thing they all silently agreed on was ignoring Dumbledore. As far as they were concerned the old man really couldn't do much to them without getting badly burned in the process. The days passed and before they knew it the Yule ball was upon them.

"Dumbledore must have decided to leave us alone for the moment," Voldemort commented thoughtfully as the three of them got ready for the ball.

"He won't leave it alone," Severus warned, struggling briefly with his emergency potions kit and dress robes. "We need to get our brat certified and refresh his skills in ettiquet and our traditions. He also needs to know what laws are currently under revision if he is to use his Lordship."

"The laws and Lordships can wait until he's officially a full staff member. It will keep Dumbledore from doing something monumentally stupid and we'll have a chance to watch him. We can have Lucius working on the Wizengamot as per usual. I can take my time with any side projects now and we can focus fully on stopping Dumbledore and healing our world. Our brat has already changed _everything_ even if practically no one outside of Hogwarts knows it," Voldemort said in a mixture of wistfulness, glee, and satisfaction.

"I still haven't gotten Barty and Mad-eye to let me in on what they did to Dumbledore. They must have done something more than simply what the memory showed..." Severus said plaintively.

> _  
> Flashback_
> 
> _"Alastor?" Dumbledore asked warily as both Moody and Barty with a new face wandered in._
> 
> _"Albus, I hear that my little assistant caused a few problems," Moody said gruffly, gesturing at Barty for emphasis._
> 
> _"Assistant?" Dumbledore asked, his hand drifting towards where he kept his wand._
> 
> _"You didn't honestly think I'd _use_ Unforgivables on _students_ of all people?! What is wrong with you man!" Moody lit into the Headmaster, haranguing him for a good twenty minutes before Barty could break in._
> 
> _"I told you he probably thought it was part of your paranoia. Mad-eye you had me kidnap you as a bloody audition to be your assistant and then you made me get my face magically altered because I look too much like that Bartimus Crouch Jr. fellow. Though I appreciate the chance to avoid getting hexed out of reflex," Barty drawled, adding a twist to the situation._
> 
> _"If you didn't have nearly the same name and similar style on top of the face I wouldn't have needed to," Moody snarked right back, building a plausible back story without having to get complicated, forge documents, or lie too much about the situation._
> 
> _"I still caught you off guard," Barty pointed out._
> 
> _"Granted and I am starting to wonder if I should have rejected your application. I had been talking to him about an _apprentice_ not an assistant," Moody grumbled. "I'm tempted to make you get your OWLs and NEWTs here rather than accept that copy from the french ministry or wherever it was that you got tested."_
> 
> _"You're the one who set the test, not me," Barty said smugly. "And I'll take the tests if you really feel that insecure about it. At this point I don't want to be taken for that Death Eater Crouch bloke."_
> 
> _"Barty... shut up," Moody grumbled, clearly loosing the argument. "I shouldn't have given you free reign to play an Inner Circle Death Eater spy. Which is, incidentally, the only reason along with Albus' permission to teach them about the spells that I'm not turning you in for the use of Unforgivables. Now, apologize to the Headmaster for your poor rendition of me and we'll be on our way. I want a word with the kid you turned into a ferret and the Longbottom boy, whom you _will_ be apologizing too!"_
> 
> _"Yes sir," Barty said ruefully._
> 
> _"Well this certainly explains your rather... unusual actions while acting as the Defense Professor," Dumbledore said, clearly unnerved. "You understand that I can't pay for... his position as your assistant but we can certainly accommodate his room and board."_
> 
> _"This is mostly to get him out of his family's hair and knock some sense into that brainless skull of his. He's fine as young idiots go and I've already gotten him keeping an eye on Potter for you. I wasn't far away if things started going bad. Bartimaeus (Barty) Cross was taught at home because his family moved around a lot," Moody explained, muttering under his breath as he stomped out of the room with Barty trailing cheekily behind him._
> 
> _Luna was waiting for them and quickly ambushed her fiance._
> 
> _"You'll be explaining that," Moody said darkly. So Luna did while Barty stood next to her in a kiss induced daze._
> 
> _End Flashback  
>  _

  
"Don't be too sure of that," Voldemort said with an evil chuckle, remembering his own glee at viewing the memory. "Just be glad that Barty is holding fast against that little blond. I shudder to think what we would be dealing with if she had told Narcissa or Minerva about the fact we still haven't had a bonding ceremony."

"Lovegood wouldn't do that, she doesn't seem to have a malicious bone in her body... aside from what she's shown as loyalty for our brat. Though her prank with the modified canary creams on Dumbledore was quite amusing. He looked good as a literal giant half plucked turkey," Severus pointed out with a chuckle.

"And how are my men this fine evening?" Harry asked cheerfully as he slipped in fresh from the show to start getting dressed.

"Fine brat," Severus smirked. "We were just discussing how out of sorts Dumbledore has been and if it had anything to do with what Moody pulled or if Lovegood has done something to distract him."

"All I know for certain is that he's been encouraging the Lions to act out and harass not only me but the Snakes as well. I've had to start favoring the Slytherins to keep the field level and resort to pranks since I can't hand out proper detentions as a provisional staff member. The Slytherins know that if they push to far I will talk to you about it and it keeps them mostly in line as well as safer. I also can't effectively suppress the on-going feud with how Dumbledore insists on keeping them in the same classes. The old goat has even drawn up partner pairings I have to follow, never mind that they are completely out of line and always set the two houses at each other's throats," Harry grumbled, quickly sliping into his dress robes.

"Aren't you glad that we got you up to speed enough that you could re-take both OWLs and NEWTs the same day the train left?" Voldemort asked with a chuckle.

"Yes, and I can't wait to see his face when he finds out that I've not only taken them but passed both sets on the same day," Harry said with an equally amused chuckle. "Though I was surprised that both Flitwick and McGonagall demanded that you let them train me for Mastery's in their fields alongside what the two of you have me doing for the Defense and Potions Mastery's. I am also very happy to find that I wasn't doing anything wrong in your classes Sev."

"No, you weren't. You just didn't have the background on the ingredients that you needed caused by too many people trying to control you by keeping you ignorant. You also needed more information on what it should look and smell like at each stage as well as a proper ingredient preparation diagram book. You brew more intuitively than most and don't actually need the recipe as long as you know what the ingredients do and what each stir or preparation type does. Longbottom is too afraid of hurting the plants and too jumpy to ever make Mastery but he can be competent if he works at it," Severus said in a playful mix of scolding and amusement.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm a dunderhead," Harry said with a playful long suffering sigh as his husbands chuckled at the joke. Voldemort stole a kiss before they headed towards the great hall.


	18. Blown Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stubborn Chapter...  
> Happy New Years!  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The opening dance of the Yule ball was... interesting with Fluer, Cedric, and Victor all bringing the same dates as the first time. Harry on the other hand managed to dance simultaneously with both of his husbands much to Severus' embarrassment and Voldemort's amusement. Moody and Barty fought not to laugh at the sight they made and only Voldemort's menacing glare aimed at the two of them kept them from full blown cackles of glee. They all had a good time despite Severus' continuous glowers and Dumbledore's disapproving looks until about half way through when they took a break for drinks.

"Punch?" a sweaty Harry asked his husbands as they slipped off of the crowded dance floor heading for the serving tables.

"Yes," Severus said forcefully as Voldemort pulled him towards a table so they would have a place to sit down.

Harry quickly headed over to the punch and made up a couple of cups for the three of them. An older Ravenclaw he didn't know bumped into him, charming a cup so that it would go to Harry while slipping several somethings mixed together into it. Harry noticed the charm but had no trouble with ignoring the weak compulsion. He was so distracted by the brief verbal fight between some 6th years on the tail of being bumped into that it was promptly forgotten about. This resulted in him receiving the tainted cup as intended by the raven and his accomplices.

"Here you go," Harry told them, handing each of his husbands a drink.

"You do realize we will get our chance to take you eventually? We won't stand for letting you take control every time we're in bed together," Voldemort murmured softly into his cup so only his husbands could hear him.

"And yet every night since we first consummated our marriage you've found yourself impaled on my cock," Harry pointed out sweetly, causing both of his husbands to blush furiously. Smirking, he swallowed a sip of his tainted drink, the glassy look that came over his eyes immediately told the other two wizard that something was wrong.

"Harry?" Severus asked worriedly.

"I have to go to her. Where is she?" Harry asked fervently, further alarming his husbands.

"Who?" Voldemort asked sharply. He was going to kill whatever chit Harry named for trying to steal his husband.

"I'm... not sure. I just have to get to her," Harry said in a mix of uncertainty and fervor.

" _Sonorous_ **WHO THE HELL DOSED OUR HUSBAND WITH A LOVE POTION!!!?** " Severus thundered, wordlessly canceling the spell as the room went silent in shock. Harry stood next to his furious husbands with glazed eyes as Voldemort kept him from wandering off in search of whoever drugged him.

"What in the world are you on about Snape?" Karkaroff sneered hatefully.

"Do you know where she is?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Where who is Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked warily.

"I'm not sure," Harry said clearly at a loss, both of his furious husbands standing guard next to him.

Luna picked that moment to send several students flying so that they would land in front of Harry and his husbands. The way Harry's eyes lit up when they landed on the girls in the group had Minerva wondering if she shouldn't send everyone back to their dorms and find somewhere to hide.

"More than one..? I need them all!" Harry cried desperately as he tried to go towards the girls in the group sprawled out on the floor in front of them. Severus and Voldemort had to tackle him to the floor to keep him from them. When Harry realized they were keeping him away he fought tooth and nail to get even an inch closer to the girls.

"Patricia Stimpson! Latisha Randle! Heidi Macavoy! What on earth have you girls done?!" McGonagall demanded. Her furious glare was enough to keep all of the Hogwarts students frozen where they had landed. Harry gave a cry of distress for not being able to go to the defense of the three while his husbands growled, fighting to contain him.

"They thought they were going to steal Harry from his husbands before Ginny could try. She is ever so upset that she can't be Lady Potter the way she was promised," Luna said dreamily as she stepped out of the crowd, wand still out from hitting the group with a spell.

"200 points, each, from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor! In addition to 3 months detention and a 5 foot essay on love potions, their interactions with each other, and the laws surrounding love potions!" came the furious declaration from the cat animagus.

They finally got Harry pinned long enough for Severus to check his breath for the smell of potions. A smell he most certainly found, going pale at which ones he could detect on his husband's breath.

"Amortentia! Mixed with the others it gives an overdose of all the ingredients bar the peppermint and the fire seed sends it all running wild! He's not just infatuated but lethally obsessed! He would kill them and himself within a fortnight!" Severus gasped in horror.

"Attempted murder by love potion overdose," Moody declared, clearly just as furious and horrified as everyone else Harry had managed to convert to his side.

"Mine!" Harry cried in a mix of fury and despair. He was unable to reach the girls that the potions were keyed to. He had completely forgotten his magic even existed, which was the only reason his husbands could hold him or that the room was even intact.

"Everyone who has participated in this is summarily expelled from my class and all previous potion grades revert to _zero_. I will also find a way to take this out of your _hides!_ " Severus snarled furiously as he once more helped pin a half escaped Harry.

There was a sharp crack that announced Harry braking one of his own bones to try and get to the now terrified students. Severus cursed and spiked his magic just so, knocking Harry out cold.

"Why didn't you do that sooner?" Voldemort asked as they just lay on top of their unconscious husband.

Harry picked that moment to start convulsing, showing why Severus hadn't risked it before. In one particularly violent convulsion Harry cracked his skull hard enough against the ancient stone that there was a near instant wash of blood as he went still. The room was silent in shock long enough that almost no one noticed everyone's shadows gathering together to allow Death to melt into physical reaper form and kneel at Harry's head.

"You aren't supposed to die just because you didn't check your food, silly master," Death said in a tone of amusement mixed with fond exasperation.

Harry's soul was gently captured from where it was floating nearby, unseen, and fed back into his body by the immortal being. The body repaired and cleansed its self as it returned to its recently living state. Harry woke up with a jerk, violently cursing as the familiar feeling and presence of Death faded away in the blink of an eye.

Needless to say no one felt like continuing the ball after that as Harry was quickly whisked away by his understandably irate husbands.


	19. Meddlesome Old Coot

"You aren't leaving our bed until we are satisfied," Severus said with a snarl, failing to declare what exactly they had to be satisfied about. Harry limply landed on their bed, not even trying to fight the manhandling from his clearly upset ie. terrified husbands. While he was used to his immortality at this point he knew that the other two weren't.

"Don't even think about trying to escape for the next 48 hours," Voldemort said dangerously as they both climbed into bed next to their husband, pinning him in place bodily.

"I sort of deserve that," Harry said sheepishly. "I noticed something was weird about my cup but wanted the two of you to look at it then I went and got distracted and forgot. I know better and I still wound up drinking it. I will accept any punishment the two of you come up with."

"Any punishment?" Voldemort asked slyly.

"Yes," Harry agreed, his face burning in embarrassment. The evil smirks told him he might have made a mistake. Fortunately, for Harry Dumbledore picked that moment to try meddling.

"Now Tom that's hardly polite or necessary," Dumbledore said pleasantly as he strolled into the bedroom. Having followed them from the Great Hall he had completely ignored any right they had to privacy, abusing his emergency authority as Headmaster to get into their rooms. The three husbands mentally groaned even as they turned nasty glares on the old goat.

"Couldn't you at least have knocked like a civilized person?" Harry asked caustically.

"He would have had to learn the practice first," Severus pointed out balefully. "He's always done this to me, even caught me coming out of or getting into the shower a few times. He always ignored my hints and blatant requests to leave until he'd conveyed his orders or whatever else he wanted to talk to me about."

"I'm not moving," Harry said stubbornly. He wouldn't let the old man drive them out of their own bloody bed.

"Good. We don't want you to, at least not yet," Voldemort agreed wholeheartedly, glaring at their bearded intruder.

"I am simply here to inform you about the second task my boy," Dumbledore told them cheerfully. "After the misunderstanding from earlier this evening I thought it best that we discuss what you will need to do."

"Liar," Harry muttered as he buried himself in their bedding.

Dumbledore wasn't pleased by the lack of respect and grumbling they were doing. However, he did notice that the three settled down into the bed as if they were small children waiting for a bed time story, after a quick switching spell to put them in appropriate night clothes. Of course Severus and Voldemort just _happened_ to trap Harry in the center and wrap around him like octopi even as the three glared at him waiting for him to speak.

Dumbledore hid a smile and began informing them of the changes to the second task.

"As suggested by your er, friend should you die during either of the next two tasks you will receive a penalty. To wit you will have to start the task over and your spell use will be restricted to 5th year spells and below. Unlike the other three champions you can not forfiet a task. You may aid the others if they ask or they are on the verge of, well death. You may only use post graduate spells when coming to aid of the other champions while you are restricted to 7th year spells and under for each task to compensate for your larger experience level," Dumbledore informed them. "You are also restricted from using any abilities that come with your... unusual magical title unless it is to revive yourself or to save a life during the task."

"Decided you might as well take advantage of his position have you?" Severus asked snidely, sneer distorting his face and nearly making Harry break his poker face to laugh.

"Quite," Dumbledore agreed cheerfully. Having an unkillable weapon was going to give him some very serious advantages once he had Harry back under control. Of course the tournament was still one of the best places to show off Harry's abilities and few enough knew that Harry was breaking away that he could _correct_ their mistaken impression easily later.

"I thought the clue was in the egg like last time?" Harry asked caustically, breaking the old man out of his scheming.

"Yes, originally the clue was inside the egg but we had to make some changes, something you proved very necessary before the tasks even began," Dumbledore pointed out in clear disapproval. The small audience mentally rolled their eyes and wondered about hexing him. "The second task will be a type of water maze suspended in mid-air. You will have to navagate it, retrieve something, and exit the maze. I will expect to see the two of you at the head table come breakfast tomorrow gentlemen."

With that he strode smugly from the room, happy to have ruined their night, even if he couldn't separate them... yet.

"Bastard," Harry muttered balefully.

"Go to sleep brat. We'll sic Poppy and Minerva on him in the morning. If you like I'll even help your demon twins with their pranks when you let them at him," Severus grumbled, not once letting go of his smaller husband.

"Alright," Harry agreed, his eyes sliding shut thanks in no small part to having died less than 12 hours before. Voldemort snorted his amusement before magicking out the light from the candles.


	20. Breakfast Challenge

Breakfast the next morning was... strange. All of the students from all three schools were strangely quiet, even the staff was subdued aside from Dumbledore who was just as oddly cheerful. Harry sighed, recognizing that he must have scared more than just his husband and fully expecting some Unspeakables to show up at some point to quiz or kidnap him. He also knew he was going to have to figure out a way to ease everyone's fears or bad things would happen.

Harry finally got fed up with the air of mourning half way through breakfast and decided to do something about it, no matter how much his husbands would probably rag him about it later. He abruptly stood and stalked to the front-center of the dais the head table sat on, gaining everyone's attention by movement alone.

"Right you lot, first off _I am not dead_ least wise not any more. Second, most of you know how weird my luck is so why are you surprised that not only did I get Death's tokens but that I actually needed them and the special stuff more than once? Third, I'm still bloody here and perfectly willing to either set the twins on you or take after my father and godfathers to prank you myself! Stop being so gloomy. I'm here, I'm not dead and can't stay dead if I do wind up dead again. I have no problem starting a cross school prank war, right here and now if that's what it takes," Harry said in absolute frustration.

" **Limits?** " the Weasley twins demanded immediately in unison, sending a silent horrified shudder through most of the staff.

"Nothing anywhere _near_ my classroom, the potions cupboard or our personal rooms," Severus demanded quickly, knowing that the moment Harry spoke of the prank war its arrival was inevitable.

"I reserve the right to viciously curse or crucio anyone that hits me with a prank," Voldemort informed them all flatly. This proclamation sent a shiver down everyone's spine as nearly the entire hall nodded vigorously in unison.

"I am afraid that I cannot allow..." Dumbledore began only to be cut off.

"If you want me following all those extra rules you put on me last night for during the tasks you will," Harry shot back viciously, deciding to twist the knife a little he opted to play out some of his restrictions in front of their rapt audience. "Honestly, being restricted to 5th year spell work and under unless I'm helping the other champions? I may not want to be in this stupid contest but even the others get to research and use anything they can lay their hands on."

"5th year if you die and need to start over, 7th year from the start," Dumbledore reminded mildly. "Since you have definitively proven your time travel status we need to balance out your comparative experience level for the other champions."

The occupants of the great hall couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"As you are still a student in this institution you will comply with the restrictions," Dumbledore pointed out affably.

"That's just... no, just no. _Accio test results!_ Read them and weep you bloody bastard!" Harry snarled as he shoved his NEWT and OWL scores into the old man's face. Everyone took great satisfaction in watching him go pale at seeing them.

"Then as a staff member..." Dumbledore started only for McGonagall to interrupt.

"Give it a rest Albus. You've lost, accept it with grace," Minerva snarked.

"For those participating in the prank war see me later for your charmed bracelets. Anyone wearing a bracelet is a fair target. Any overly large pranks such as on an entire house, class, or school must be cleared with me, a head of house, or school head unless all of your targets are wearing a participation bracelet. Anything deemed cruel will earn you at least a week of detentions and points loss or the possibility of being sent home early for our visitors, dependent on your head of house or school head respectively. Potion brewing areas, the Potions cupboard, anyone in flight, and the stairs are all off limits because of the danger factor. Getting caught has the same penalties as if this prank free for all were not happening unless caught by a teacher who is wearing a participation bracelet. The adults who join in will have their own rules," Harry informed everyone. "Bonus targets will be posted around the school and grounds, some of which will have a time limit on them."

Dumbledore didn't manage to get a word out before there was a deafening cheer. Whether the cheer was for the prank war its self or the fact that one could opt out and _not_ get pranked no one would ever know.

"You've done it now," Filius said hiding a grin behind his morning tea.

"I was hoping to include a dueling section. That's part of why the adults have different rules since they have to play watchdog and some things will only be active if a particular person takes charge of it," Harry explained. His words were loud enough to be heard by the staff but not the now very noisy students as he returned to his seat.

"You will see me in my office after breakfast Mr. Potter," Dumbledore ordered, his voice low with rage.

"Bring it old man," Harry shot back with a voice of granite. Breakfast continued with a strained silence at the head table and happy chatter among the students.

Harry arrived in Dumbledore's office trailed by both of his husbands, the other heads of house, Moody, Barty, and Luna. The old man mentally scowled, this was _not_ how things were supposed to go. No one but Harry noticed a curious little reporter bug arriving with them.

"Let me stop you before you get yourself into more trouble. I won our bet fair and square so at the end of the year you will be retiring in favor of myself or Severus as the new Headmaster. That said, you will stop trying to control me and my husbands or some of your nasty little secrets will just happen to be outed, like Ariana and the Dursleys. I will give you a week where I will do nothing without provocation to decide if you want to have a _working_ relationship with me. You have until the end of the tournament to get your act together and be able to retire with dignity," Harry told him flatly.

"By what right do you believe yourself able to dictate to _me_?" Dumbledore demanded in out right rage.

"The right of the victim and my authority as Master of Death," Harry informed him, granite faced. "Just be glad I didn't call on Lady Magic or the true Creator for immediate judgement. You would not have survived."

With that he turned on his heel and stalked out.

"Did you know he was going to invoke that?" Severus asked his husband.

"Nope but I was half hoping he was going to use me as a threat," Voldemort admitted.

"Harry wouldn't do that without asking first. He has too much respect for both of you," Luna put in airily.

"He's not going to calm down for some time," Severus mused with more than a little resignation in his tone.

"Which is why we need to play buffer," Voldemort agreed grudgingly. He really wanted to just sit back and watch idiots get burned but knew that he would be sleeping on the couch if he did.

Everyone quickly disappeared when all of the glass in the office started to shatter in a cascade effect, escaping the old man before he could let loose against any of them.


	21. Prank Park

Rita Skeeter, reporter extrodinaire was both intrigued and in a bit of a bind. You see she had used her unregistered, and thus illegal, animagus form to spy on a juicy meeting. A meeting between the newly immortal Boy Who Lived and the ever indomitable Albus Dumbledore. A meeting that flatly blew the old man's supposed control over the savior out of the water. It had also landed her some clues as to some secrets on both wizards which she was now not only searching but had to figure out an excuse for her readers and editor _why_ she was looking at such things. It didn't help that what she was finding was... upsetting.

The name Ariana was somewhat hard to pin down since someone tried to hide nearly everything about the Dumbledore family and the Headmaster's past in particular. Noted magical historian Bathilda Bagshot turned out to be a gold mine in that regard. A little truth serum and an obliviate go a long way in the reporting business, especially for a gossip columnist.

Then there were the Dursleys. It surprised Rita that looking up the family as unrelated to Harry Potter gave her full access through the protective wards. It also told her exactly how flimsy the protections were around Potter during the summer months. What she learned from the Dursleys though had her sympathizing with not only the Death Eaters but wanting to do a little judicious cursing herself.

The only upside she saw in all of this was that there was no way she wouldn't win an award, that and her article might keep Harry from ever being forced back to stay with such a despicable family. The fallout was going to be _fun_!

When Harry had stormed out of the old man's office he knew his temper was at the breaking point. As a result he headed straight for the room of requirement and asked for things to either fight or blow up. The practice battlefield the castle provided was impressive. By the time his husbands found him more than half of the mock battlefield was utterly decimated and the self-repair charms were struggling to keep up. The castle made a mental note to use the regeneration charms next time her future-former Headmaster needed to blow off some steam, the self-repair charms simply weren't powerful or fast enough to keep up with Harry.

Harry turned after taking out a 5 man squad of dummys set to just above Hit Wizard skill level but bellow Unspeakable to find both of his husbands watching the simulated carnage. Seeing that he was looking at them Severus silently held out his arms, offering a hug. Harry gratefully moved into the protective and comforting embrace, burying his face in his husband's robes.

"You know Death was the one to place most of those restrictions," Severus commented softly as he held his small husband to him tightly. The three of them had just stood together, drawing comfort from one another for a good twenty minutes.

"I know," Harry said voice muffled by the potion master's robes. "I just figured if he wanted to claim credit for the idea he could face the rest of the school over it and I can get enough payback not to kill him immediately."

"Good choice," Severus said in obvious satisfaction as he exchanged smirks with his other husband. Neither of them were overly upset that Dumbledore was getting the blame but they had worried about their husband. It was a relief to know that he was alright, the little display of temper was just a bonus.

"Tell us about this prank war. I wish to know why we should participate as you obviously intended," Voldemort ordered softly. He wanted to know about the prank war and a few other things but it was more important to cheer Harry up.

"Well one of the special areas I want to set up is going to be specifically for dueling. I want Flitwick to cover that one because of his status on the dueling circuits and his goblin heritage. I was hoping Sev would watch over the labs and any potions brewed, maybe give out tips since he had practice against the Marauders. Minerva could cover a transfiguration only area. I want to keep Hagrid and his animals completely out of it if only because he tends to work with some of the most dangerous and volatile creatures. I figure he can be a safe zone. Dumbledore is going to be a major bonus target. Best to keep the Hospital wing as a safe zone or at least off limits for active pranking. I haven't decided about the dorms or the common rooms since they will get hit no matter what we do. They will also be major staging and prep areas," Harry explained consideringly, his chin propped on Severus' shoulder as he refused to move out of the hug.

"Sounds like it won't be entirely prank oriented," Severus commented thoughtfully.

"Well, no. I got the idea for a sort of theme park set up. The pranks are more of traps, running battles or street dueling, and scavenger hunt combined. All of this is meant in fun so non-lethal," Harry admitted sheepishly. "That's part of why the participants will need an identifying bracelet. Besides anyone studying for OWLs or NEWTs would try to murder me if they didn't get a chance to study."

"Best make the library a safe zone then. It will keep the librarian off your back and give the OWL and NEWT students somewhere to study even if they opt in," Voldemort said thoughtfully. "If you set up reversal points or stations then the staff wont be run ragged trying to keep everyone in a normal non-pranked state. You go to one of the reversal points or you leave the prank as is and run around in-spite of it. It will give people a chance to practice their counters, cut down on the stress for the staff, and let things be handled on an as needed basis or in a timely fashion."

"At least you already outlawed some of the more dangerous pranking areas," Severus sighed, shivering a bit at some of his bad memories when facing off against the Marauders.

"Exactly how long were you planning to make this last?" Voldemort asked with sudden suspicion.

"Er, through the end of the year?" Harry suggested guiltily.

"The teachers quarters and lounge are off limits. No pranking between curfew and breakfast. The food at the head table is to be left untouched unless especially cleared for pranking," Severus instructed firmly. "Special areas are at the directing staff member's discretion for times and individual activities."

"Sure!" Harry agreed brightly.

That seemed to be the end of it for the moment but by supper time an outline of the rules, safe zones, and first "bounties" was posted in every common room including the teacher's lounge. Posted right next to the rules was a magical sign up sheet that produced the charmed ID bracelets with the person's name, head of house, a point meter, and an indicator for any bounties placed on them.

Voldemort had demanded control of the master list of participators and the sign up sheet for requested bounties. He wasn't surprised to find Dumbledore permanently on the bounty list. He _was_ surprised to find Severus on the participation list right next to Harry and Minerva.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prank Ideas Welcome!!!


	22. Pranks Before the Second Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys are amazing. You gave me so many pranks to use I was spoiled for choice! As a result I probably really will keep the pranks running through the rest of the school year. Feel free to request further pranks!  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first prank triggered a week after term resumed since no one had really wanted to try to ruin the holidays worse than watching Harry briefly die. Everyone also had to identify "safe" targets for all that there was no time limit on joining the prank war and term was a better time to identify victims than the holidays. As a result half way through breakfast Karkaroff stood up and gave a rousing rendition of _In The Dark Of The Night_ from the Disney movie Anastasia before freezing in place. Dumbledore never saw it for he ate in his rooms that morning.

"Was he on the bounty list? I could have sworn that he didn't sign up to participate," Harry asked into the stunned silence of the great hall.

"Yes but I don't recognize the magic that added his name," Voldemort said in some surprise.

"Let me see," Harry requested, holding out his hand for the bounty list. He took one look at it and burst into laughter. It took him a good twenty minutes to quit laughing while everyone watched and Karkaroff remained frozen before he could explain and hand back the parchment. "Death added him to the list with a graduated reward scale. I don't think that anyone can remove him from the target list."

"Well I for one plan to use that bounty list for some of my detentions. You did say there would be limited time targets appearing randomly after all," Minerva said, her brogue bleeding through with her amusement.

"Whenever someone wants to place a prank bounty they need to talk to my husband. I'll listen to appeals but the evil Dark Lord has to approve the initial bounty because bounties aren't limited to the people with bracelets on. Severus is in charge of potion brewing and lab time," Harry agreed cheerily. He happily turned back to his food along with his smug husbands.

Karkaroff gave a further rendition of _When You're Evil by Voltaire_ , Disney's Little Mermaid _Poor Unfortunate Souls_ , and _Son of Man_ from Disney's Tarzan. He finished with _Be Prepared_ from The Lion King through out the rest of breakfast before collapsing back into his seat. All of them were sung with magically produced music for background sound.

"That was either pulled off by Death or a muggle born, too many Disney songs for anyone else," Harry mused as everyone stood up from breakfast and headed out to class.

"Now that you don't have to attend class what do you plan to do with your day?" Severus asked curiously.

"Harass Dumbledore about the change over, act as roaming prank and hall monitor, decide what pranks _I_ am going to pull, and research for the next task. Maybe I'll even start sorting through the Death Eaters to see which ones are sane enough to keep," Harry listed with a shrug.

"He is also going to be randomly dueling me and working on his various Masters," Voldemort pointed out.

"Ah, yeah. Flitwick has me working on a few things related to the Patronus Charm. Minerva wants me working on becoming an animagus. The two of you didn't tell me what I was working on for your oh so official apprenticeships so I haven't really done anything for Potions or DADA," Harry reviewed aloud.

"Brat, random dueling with us and brush up on your dark creatures for DADA. For Potions... look up or create and brew the antidotes for the 6 most likely prank potions to be used in the next month," Severus told him. Voldemort's dueling idea wasn't bad but the man wasn't aware of how abysmal the previous Defense professors had been on the whole.

"I'm going to have to memorize the ingredients useful for pranks aren't I?" Harry groaned. Severus just smirked and headed for his morning class while his husbands went towards the library for the day.

Over the next weeks the school was treated to various pranks. Draco Malfoy's hair was dyed neon orange as he was forced to play the part of a pink clad Odette in a short version of swan lake unwillingly danced by most of Slytherin and Gryffindor Houses. Ron's hair was charmed to flash bubblegum pink, purple, neon green, mauve, and silver any time he insulted someone. The Hufflepuffs found their common room turned into a ball pit for a night. Half the Beauxbaton contingent got caught in a chocolate version of the twin's portable swamp. Someone got the extra bounty in getting the house elves to dye all of Dumbledore's robes black while someone else laced his candies with a potion that deadens the taste buds. The Durmstrang students got off scot free... somehow.

The people listed as bounty targets due to detention couldn't use the safe zones for more than 5 minutes at a time. Since their open target status only lasted as long as the detention things got... odd very quickly. They also tended to be favorite targets of anyone participating. The detention bounty on Cho Chang was the first to turn _cruel_. 

Cho ran. She ran and ran and ran but the shadows only she could see continued to chase her. When she finally slammed into the solid form of Voldemort it was the last straw. She broke down sobbing as she huddled against him, shivering in trauma. Voldemort awkwardly patted her on the back as he looked around the nearly empty hallway.

"Serves you right you bitch," someone hissed.

Voldemort caught sight of the house colors of the speaker on the bottom of their robes as they disappeared around the corner and was surprised to realize they were a fellow Ravenclaw. A sigh left the Dark Lord's mouth as he silently stunned the girl before levitating her to the hospital wing.

"The bully finally got a dose of her own medicine," someone unseen muttered just as he entered the hospital wing to dump the girl on one of the beds, telling him what happened.

"Hogwarts? Please have the perpetrators of Miss. Chang's distress report to Harry or Severus. Their revenge pranks qualifies as overly cruel and may fall under actual torture," Voldemort informed the castle with a sigh.

A light magical breeze against his cheek acknowledged his request as the castle arranged for the selected students to find themselves in front of his husbands, complete with note. He would later be informed of Miss. Chang's habit of bullying and the complete lack of remorse by those who had cursed her. All three had no problem with their suspension from the pranking tournament nor the large number of detentions. In their minds it got them revenge and made sure the popular, yet mean, prefect didn't get away with her actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pranks/prank war event ideas welcome! Situation requests very very welcome!
> 
> Also no, I haven't forgotten about Rita but I wouldn't mind headline ideas!


	23. Watery Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Apology!  
> Anastasia was actually produced by 20th Century Fox but is often mistaken for a Disney work due to the heavy involvement of a former Disney employee. Sorry for the mix up last chapter. Also, someone correctly gave the reason the Durmstrang students managed to avoid any pranks being pulled on them in the last chapter. Congrats to daithi4377! The lack of pranking was indeed a silent reward by everyone else for successfully hitting Karkaroff so spectacularly and sympathy for having the idiot of a man for their Headmaster.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day of the Second Task dawned overcast before rapidly clearing into perfect weather just the way it had in the first time line. The first prank of the day had been cleared by all four heads of house and Severus hoped it would cheer Harry up. Everyone but the teachers, champions, and the Judges found themselves dressed in Kimono's with a wide range of patterns and colors roughly half way through breakfast. The twins had been employed to take part of the blame but they had also consulted with a few of the purebloods who had vacationed in the far east to figure out how the clothing was supposed to be worn. The results were spectacular and had Harry happily admiring the different Kimono designs all through breakfast.

Dumbledore, on the other hand, was grinning cheerfully from his throne at the head table and didn't even dock points for the morning mass prank. It might have been because he was finally back to wearing his hideous multi-color robes, much to everyone's disappointment. It also might have been because it was the day of the second task matched with whatever he had up his sleeve. Either way Harry found it creepy. His husbands easily picked up on his unease every time he looked towards the man. They both did their best to stay alert for any nasty surprises that the old fool might pull, such as potentially changing the task somehow at the last minute or giving Harry a massive handicap.

Dumbledore got everyone's attention near the end of breakfast before making an announcement.

"Your attention please! Due to an unexpected revelation after the first task Mr. Potter is restricted to fifth year spells and under while the other three champions are encouraged to use extra strong magic against him. This is in response to a condition set by our new extra judge and his revelation as to certain magics that have been previously cast on Mr. Potter. Now then, if you will all make your way down to the lake the task has been set up there," Dumbledore informed them all happily.

"I _don't_ like the sound of that," Severus breathed to his older husband.

"Agreed," Voldemort murmured back, rage burning in his eyes at the obvious cheating the man was doing against Harry. It made his accusation at the first task more viable than they liked to contemplate. If the old man thought that arranging "accidents" and "adventures" to kill their husband was perfectly alright the two dark wizards were just as perfectly willing to disabuse him of the notion. After all Harry had only restricted them from killing him and only until the end of the tournament. He had said nothing about making the manipulative bastard's life a living hell. _No one_ went after their little family without _consequences_.

Everyone dutifully moved down to the lake and the bleachers set up there only to discover a giant floating cube of water with icy walls within. This created a giant watery maze with various puzzles, creatures, and other obstacles to bedevil the champions during their navigation of the task. There was a good mix of both magical and muggle creatures filling the giant floating cube maze of water. There were Grindylows hiding in strategically placed seaweed clumps scattered throughout the maze, Sirens that looked like the stained glass window in the prefect's bathroom, Great White Sharks of all sizes, both Crocodiles and Alligators were placed near charmed air pocket bubbles with floating stone ledges for champions or creatures to rest on, Selkies from the Black Lake Merpeople village, Lion Fish with their poisonous spines, and even obviously testy Electric Eels darting between stone and corral formations mixed in with the seaweed. Not a single Serpent or Dragon of any kind could be seen, eliminating the most remote possibility of using Parseltongue as an aid.

Harry figured, at a guess that the ice walls would shift around randomly. He could see water currents moving the seaweed and with both the ice walls and the Greek Sirens there were likely to be different temperatures in the water, possibly even rip currents to drag them around. With so much magic and water it wouldn't surprise him if Undine or Water Sprites formed out of the water with their human forms and blue skin, able to breathe air or water and follow them on to land. The blasted maze was an accident waiting to happen.

The sight of the maze made Harry curse and glare darkly at Dumbledore _knowing_ that this altered task had not only upped in difficulty but had also become _far_ more deadly. Dying, for him, was painful and a pain in the ass. Dying for the other champions was _permanent_. He had already sworn to them that he would do his best to get them through this mess of a contest _alive_ and he had no intentions of backing out on that. Harry also had no illusions as to how likely he was to die this time around, repeatedly.

"Master, I offer you one revival per champion for the remaining tasks if you agree to let me claim Dumbledore publicly at some point," Death whispered invisibly in Harry's ear. Harry in turn breathed deeply and reluctantly nodded his agreement to the offer, earning an evil chuckle from the entity. He had no qualms about rescuing the other champions, it was Dumbledore's eventual public claiming that worried him.

Harry took one last dark look at the maze before joining his fellow champions in their tent near the water maze. He never saw the watchful eyes of the old coot or the worried looks from his husbands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests for what will happen during the task are requested. *evil grin*


End file.
